French: characteristic VS possession- help please!

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I am confused about the difference between characteristics and possessions in French because... well... we possess characteristics.

For this, I mean using être VS avoir.

As far as I can see, I'm just going to have to learn this situation by situation, but I am desperate to have a true understanding of when to use which term.

So far, I know to say "j'ai froid" but "je suis belle." I don't really see why, although I know the rule (I think!)

I just don't understand. I looked on a forum about French, and someone who was native to the language said that they don't understand why people who are foreign to French don't understand! They said it seemed completely obvious to them. It very well isn't to me.

I even have a friend with their first language being French, and he is very fluent in English as well. He has helped me through some of the earlier challenges of French, and I'm glad to have a good start on understanding the grammar with his help along with my courses, but I just can't get a mental grasp on this.

At first I thought that maybe "froid" meant "coldness" rather than "cold" and that there was a different word for directly "cold," but then there'd have to be another word for "beau" to mean "beauty" rather than "beautiful." Are there words like that in French??

I hope that I get some help with this.. I can't start French in school until this next coming school year, so I've been learning with my books, my app, the internet, and my French friend. Don't get me wrong; it's been pretty great. I just need to get past this new obstacle.

I may not know my language enough to affirm there's no general rule about that, but that's what I think. I don't know any rule about that.

Here is an example to show there's no rule :

Usually to say "I'm scared" you say J'ai peur and to say "I'm sad" you say Je suis triste

Peur is a noun and you have to understand J'ai peur like it was J'ai la peur en moi (The fear is in me)

We also say J'ai faim/J'ai soif/J'ai chaud/J'ai froid

Triste is an adjective and its noun is tristesse but we don't say J'ai tristesse. So maybe we only say "J'ai"+a noun when that noun is short enough (like faim/soif/froid/chaud)

If this piss you you can always say Je suis apeuré instead of J'ai peur. Or Je suis affamé/je suis assoiffé *. But usually when people say those things it's because they are really hungry or thirsty...

* Even if the adjectives and nouns of chaud et froid are the same, you can't say Je suis chaud/je suis froid to say J'ai chaud/j'ai froid because it doesn't mean the same thing. Je suis chaud means that if you touch me, my skin will be hot. J'ai chaud means I feel the heat.

My everyday language is French and unfortunately, I don't believe there is a general rule to this - at least not any more than there is in English. Some expressions are used the same way in French and English, and with others, it's "être" in one language and "avoir" in another. When one's native language is French, it's also difficult to grasp why it would be different in English.

One pointer I can give you is that in the examples "I'm cold" or "I'm hungry" (physical), if you can replace "am" by "feel" ("I feel cold" or "I feel hungry"), then you should use "avoir" in French ("j'ai froid" and "j'ai faim"). However, if "am" really means "am", as in "I am beautiful", then you use "être" ("je suis beau/belle"). In the case of emotions, French usually uses "être", though ("I am glad" - "Je suis content"). Not easy!

I hope this helps. I'm sorry not to be able to give you a more general rule here, but feel free to ask if you have more specific questions and I'll gladly answer them.