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smudgedhorizon
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26 Feb 2018, 5:41 pm

Hi. I've recently started learning Japanese language and I'm wondering if there are people who have lived in Japan for a long time. What baffles me is etiquette. Should I really aim for going to Japan? I just can't be that conforming. I can't agree all the time. If you don't agree or not do what everyone does, are you in trouble in Japan?


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green0star
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27 Mar 2018, 9:22 am

smudgedhorizon wrote:
Hi. I've recently started learning Japanese language and I'm wondering if there are people who have lived in Japan for a long time. What baffles me is etiquette. Should I really aim for going to Japan? I just can't be that conforming. I can't agree all the time. If you don't agree or not do what everyone does, are you in trouble in Japan?


You can visit Japan just fine without a problem. But if you're an artist, an eccentric of any sort then Japan is not the place for you as far as living there. Yes the etiquette is very strict and yes you would have to become a conformist to a degree. If you can deal with that then fine but if not then just visit and enjoy your time (: Japan has some awesome history, a colorful culture, and a lot of interesting things to see but despite that like anything else there are draw backs as well. I did study Japanese for some time using Rosetta Stone but I am way out of practice since my subscription ran out and I haven't touched the program in over a year.



elsapelsa
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29 Mar 2018, 4:37 pm

I lived in japan for a year. In a very rural remote village. In many ways it was extremely strange to me but as a foreigner you kind of end up getting a free pass as they just assume that you will be weird. There were many things I really loved about japan (the food, the attention to detail, the culture) and others that just baffled me (gender relationships, the bullying to conform, the lack of privacy in the works place : my boss literally felt and acted like she owned me!)


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The_Face_of_Boo
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02 May 2018, 2:54 am

elsapelsa wrote:
and others that just baffled me (gender relationships, the bullying to conform, the lack of privacy in the works place : my boss literally felt and acted like she owned me!)


That's an Eastern thing, it's the case in all Eastern cultures I encountered so far (including mine).



elsapelsa
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02 May 2018, 3:34 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
elsapelsa wrote:
and others that just baffled me (gender relationships, the bullying to conform, the lack of privacy in the works place : my boss literally felt and acted like she owned me!)


That's an Eastern thing, it's the case in all Eastern cultures I encountered so far (including mine).


Maybe, I lived in Cairo, didn't feel it there but I didn't work in Cairo, I studied, perhaps if I had been an employee I would have picked up on it more.


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02 May 2018, 5:10 am

I've lived here for a bit more than 2 years now. I don't mind the etiquette, because it serves a reason, to make society operate smoothly as people find comfort in having a program in which things can be executed in, including business. Living outside of Japan prepares you poorly for living here, though. Long-time residents will face culture shock, which is a make or break moment for many as they find they cannot cope with the stark contrasts to their original culture. Whether Japan is right for you can only be confirmed by visiting and interacting with the culture, and forming an attitude towards it from there. I prefer Japan to Europe as there is a focus on amicable relationships between people and conflict is not handled in plain sight.

Japan also has a system of omote/ura (front side/back side) which to some is a model of the society itself (I disagree). I use it in order to manage the pressure of conformism. Achieving balance between your inner urges and self-assertive goals (ura) and the face you openly show in societal interactions (omote) is key. It doesn't mean you need to agree even though you disagree, but rather that you postpone judgement until you've tried to see the other person's point of view. Expressing disagreement is a kind of art in Japan -- you have to do it hesitantly and subtly and wait for the other person's reaction. Openly blurting out your disagreement won't land you in trouble, because the Japanese will maintain their outward friendliness (omote) even though they silently judge you (ura). It will land you outside of the system, though, which will lead to isolation in the long run which can be trying if you plan to become a permanent resident.

もうひらがなのよむことができるの? :roll: