So scared, help!!

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Leah, this is the first time I have ever really read the memoir of someone who struggled with all of the options in regard to the timing of a pregnancy. Although I consider myself ProLife, I certainly have the fear of conceiving another child at this particular point in time. Mentally speaking, I don't know if I can handle another child. My faith in God, overall, is in one of those dreaded "valleys", and has been so for the past few years. The contraceptive frame of mind is at hand in my particular situation...so much so that my husband had a vasectomy. But you are right...nothing is 100%.

I feel for you, Leah. There are so many shades of gray with the option that has been made available to us.

It's just not a fun time. But I can't dwell on it; it happened, it's in the past, it was crap but there's nothing you can do to change the past.

I really scared myself with that meltdown though. Really, really scared myself. To the point that I think I'm going to try and find a counsellor with experience in it... that's the first time this disorder has been overtly apparent since childhood, and I think maybe I need to face up to that and start dealing with my demons as such. It really bothers me that it happened so fast and so badly; I felt like I was a scared five year old all over again, and that's something I never thought I'd go through again. I don't know what a counsellor could do but perhaps just talking would help.

Any constructive outlet is a good one at this point. Being able to talk it out in a non-judgmental environment can be a huge benefit.

From another sister topic

My only sister,who is NT has had three abortions. I genuinely am glad she did not bring a child into this world, what with all her substance abuse.

My advice to her was only whether she considered birth control. She said she did not care.

Abortions are hard on the body, and can render one infertile. Just be careful.

You have shown great maturity and courage Leah to stick to your plans. Too many let the whims of fate dictate their lives. There is a right time for everything and only you know when that is. It's your life, your body and your decision. PM me if you want to chat about your meltdown as I know how it makes you feel. Total loss of control and very scary. But it took an intensely stressful event to trigger it, and you were with medical professionals, so don't give yourself too hard a time over it.

MsB XX