Do you feel odd when a guy calls you names like sweetie?

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Cyberman
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09 Oct 2008, 5:55 pm

Most women are pickier, because they can be.



0_equals_true
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09 Oct 2008, 5:57 pm

whatever, it has little to do with this.



tahloola
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10 Oct 2008, 12:23 am

don't like being called hon.....etc...by strangers....feel's disrespectful.....

with my significant other its...okay...

others....no



musicforanna
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10 Oct 2008, 3:17 am

Cyberman wrote:
Most women are pickier, because they can be.

Say whaaa? I'm pickier because I can be? :? Honestly, I can count many picky males I have met within my life time as well.

God forbid I have my own preferences in how I would honestly like to be addressed. I'm not gonna start a riot if someone calls me a pet name, but it still does make me feel uncomfortable if it comes from someone who is not my boyfriend.



musicforanna
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10 Oct 2008, 3:25 am

Emoal6 wrote:
Well obviously you all dont know what its like in the midwest. You know, in some of those cities that shouldnt even be called a city for being so small. In iowa, or indiana, my home state of illinois, my mother's of wisconsin.

You also seem to be pretty cynical. Its not ok to show love anymore in this world, and its you women doing this. A person doesnt have to love you physically or have even known you to give a term of endearment.

You wonder why chivalry is dead. Its no longer socially acceptable You all want to be "respected", which is ridiculous. Its absolutely recockulous that some of you are so "IN YOUR OWN WORLD" that you cant be bothered TO ALLOW someone to be THEMSELF around you. You make your insecurities a rule for the world to follow.

Admittedly so, some guys are just sleezeballs. But if you cant tell by thier tone of voice that they're trying to play you, its absurd. you havent watched enough movies or tv to understand how 95% of guys like that talk and act? OR you havent been played enough to understand it? Its mindboggling.

Get off your high horse and learn about how people USED to act. HOW PEOPLE STILL ACT IN THE MIDWEST. How it was Ok to just show love towards everyone. It was ok to just be a great guy and call every woman doll or babe. Not every person who calls you dear or darlin doesnt care. Sometimes that waitress is just being friendly, and sometimes that guy is just trying to put a smile on your face. Its your fault you dont like it, you put a negative spin to it, not the person saying it. You women have ruined this world with that crap.

And you don't know, because I live in the middle of the midwest, and it's honestly not like that where I live. Also to keep in mind: Pet names are highly variant in meaning and interpretation, and some aspies are obviously going to be uncomfortable with it because they may have a hard time reading into it. It's not as easy as you may think for some people. Even if they watch movies and see how '95% percent of males supposedly act,' who's to say they're going to pick up on the nonverbal cues, tone of voice, and body language? And honestly, forget chivalry being no longer socially acceptable, enough people here feel the pain of not being socially acceptable, and you have to realize where the heck you're typing all of this.



chella
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10 Oct 2008, 7:53 am

I love when someone I like calls me cute names like that, but I end up getting flustered by it and don't know how to react.


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RainSong
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10 Oct 2008, 3:05 pm

I live in the Midwest, and no one here calls each other those kind of names. When I lived in Georgia, some people did, but even that became more uncommon than not.

Personally, I'll tolerate it; I know a few people who do use it, and it doesn't bother me, because I know how they're using it. And I almost never call someone by their name; I will say Miss/ma'am/sir to get attention, if I have to. That doesn't seem disrespectful to me at all.


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10 Oct 2008, 8:28 pm

Tbh I don't mind if i'm really into the guy, but otherwise not really.



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11 Oct 2008, 2:17 am

It depends on what context they use it in and sometimes how well I know them. I've had rare experiences of guys calling me hon in a way that made me feel flattered.

On the other hand, I don't like it when it's used randomly by a stranger who uses it as though I were his sweetheart.

BTW, I live in the midwest too, I don't know what it's like in all the midwest states but we don't get too much of that from where I'm from. The only thing I do hear when I have to walk just to get to a store regularly is the cat calls by a moving vehicle. I find it slightly offensive because it's abnoxious, not funny, and makes me feel like a hoe working the streets in some ways.

I'm not saying guys who do this are implying that I am a hoe, it just comes off that way as well as rude. Other than that when it's not the cat calls or the context in the way it's used, it can be flattering. I don't think I'd feel comfortable with a stranger calling me hon and sweetie so many times in a row though just as the OP's post reads.


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11 Oct 2008, 3:55 am

I have used certain words, like with girlfriends or relatives, I had heard someone call their daughter muffin, so I started calling this annoying girlfriend Muffin Head, with often call male friends Awww Princess, I don't think there is anything wrong in saying that the lady's here on WP are all Sweeties.



Emoal6
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12 Oct 2008, 1:23 am

You know, there used to be a day when women werent insecure about this petty s**t. There used to be a day when Id see 15 women get called darlin or dear by my father and they all said, "you're such a sweetheart ron". It was okay to just be social, and love in general.

Now you have to be "respectful", which is a bunch of bs anyways. Truth be told, if a girl likes how you look you can say anything and get away with it. A few of you have already proven that with your posts. So in essence you're saying as long as you look good you can say it. Thats ridiculous.

Sorry this world has become a bunch of whiners about EVERYTHING, including now TERMS OF ENDEARMENT. We have so much more we could be talking about but you want to b***h about being called BABE. I hope you ladies never get married, god forbid your husband call you dear and you snap at him. How insecure do you have to be to get upset/uncomfortable when a guy you dont know calls you darlin'(or any other term of endearment for that matter).

Honestly, its probably because you were never good looking enough to get called them on a consistent basis(And cat calls dont count). Its only "patronizing" because you feel you dont deserve it... You feel unworthy, and that makes you lack comfort, not the words themselves. Theres no reason to for that unless the guy is creepy IN GENERAL. AND THEN Its not the words, its the person who says it and thats just being superficial. You judge a book by its cover, you may never learn the lesson from its pages...



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12 Oct 2008, 1:32 am

Emoal6 wrote:
Sorry this world has become a bunch of whiners about EVERYTHING
That's because AS is a "mental recession." :wink:



Haliphron
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12 Oct 2008, 1:59 am

Cyberman wrote:
Most women are pickier, because they can be.



I dont think its just because they can be, its because they're wired to be that way. Anyhow, I dont mind in the Least when a woman calls me by pet-names like sweetie, hon, etc. In fact I find it almost flattering and I see as them just trying to be nice.
If a man said those things to me, Id be shocked a little uncomfortable. Maybe it comes across as patronizing to women though.



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12 Oct 2008, 7:06 pm

Emoal, it's *fine* when a husband, parent, or other immediate family member calls one 'Hon' or 'Sweetheart' or whatever. That's the point. It's a personal priviledge, and a having it appropriated by a total stranger is the verbal equivalent of having one's space invaded.

Funny how people who treat others without respect then call them 'whiners' when they're called to the carpet on it.

Own up to your mistakes, Emoal, and stop being a jerk.



musicforanna
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14 Oct 2008, 1:28 am

Emoal6 wrote:
You know, there used to be a day when women werent insecure about this petty sh**. There used to be a day when Id see 15 women get called darlin or dear by my father and they all said, "you're such a sweetheart ron". It was okay to just be social, and love in general.

Now you have to be "respectful", which is a bunch of bs anyways. Truth be told, if a girl likes how you look you can say anything and get away with it. A few of you have already proven that with your posts. So in essence you're saying as long as you look good you can say it. Thats ridiculous.

Sorry this world has become a bunch of whiners about EVERYTHING, including now TERMS OF ENDEARMENT. We have so much more we could be talking about but you want to b***h about being called BABE. I hope you ladies never get married, god forbid your husband call you dear and you snap at him. How insecure do you have to be to get upset/uncomfortable when a guy you dont know calls you darlin'(or any other term of endearment for that matter).

Honestly, its probably because you were never good looking enough to get called them on a consistent basis(And cat calls dont count). Its only "patronizing" because you feel you dont deserve it... You feel unworthy, and that makes you lack comfort, not the words themselves. Theres no reason to for that unless the guy is creepy IN GENERAL. AND THEN Its not the words, its the person who says it and thats just being superficial. You judge a book by its cover, you may never learn the lesson from its pages...

I don't think you understand women in general. At all. Calling me a name like that is a privilege (unless it's something like ma'am, which is generic for a woman you do not know). Random stranger using pet names = no. That doesn't turn my crank, and it's borderline creepy if not patronizing. And no, I'm not a bleeding extreme feminist by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm also not a woman that believes in being stuck pregnant barefoot and in the kitchen either. Welcome to today.



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15 Oct 2008, 3:02 pm

I only feel odd (read: sickened) when older men other than my grandfather calls me "sweetie". It's inappropriate and lewd. :eew: