Older Men vs. Younger Men

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Well that is all because younger Aspie guys can only TALK about women as they will be lucky to have any experience with a woman even once in their life. The older Aspie guys that didn't grow up with a label tend to be more interesting men as they develop character. But yes the young guys posting are always predatory because they are so desperate to get rid of their virginity that they view women the same as a toy blow up doll and view dating as only a means to get bedded. Like they won't bother going out to attend a hobby group meeting and mingle with other people unless they think hot chicks will be there because its all about getting laid not making friends. But they are so stupid because they don't realize no hot chick would be caught dead even talking to them yet they continue to believe they will stalk these gals till they force them to like them.

Yeah - I guess the NT guys know how to repress it and therefore have better "luck" with chicks.

I guess I've been blind or in denial or maybe I just don't spend time on touchy-feely sites like this one.

Color me naive but I didn't know guys thought of us like that!

I can see by your number of posts you haven't been on WP long enough to see all the years of nasty crap the guys write about women on here.

Oh and by the way guys you are not suppose to be in the Women's forum even looking.

makuranososhi just sent me a harrassing PM because he doesn't agree with my opinion and experience of AS men. I don't know why he's getting his panties in a wad anyway because he's not even diagnosed so he's getting offended by things he's not even a part of. Look guys there really is a reason, ONE REASON, why women don't like AS guys. Every AS guy I have ever met and I've met dozens as we have a large AS group with statewide meetings and they are all nasty to women unless they are gay.

I tried to befriend a couple guys on here and several times it has ended up bad where out of the blue they just send a short PM asking me to have sex with them after formerly only talking about hobbies and such. MORONS! Just go buy yourself a blowup doll on the internet since you don't see women as human beings. The only decent AS men are a few of the older ones that never knew they were on the spectrum.

There has been nothing indicating that men are not welcome in this forum; it is a safe place for women to express themselves, to discuss experiences and problems that are more gender-specific - but that does not include a free license to insult men. Your experiences are valid and unfortunate, but they do not constitute factual characteristics of all males with an ASD. I'm sorry if you feel harassed, but I am cautioning that you are stepping over the guidelines for WrongPlanet and asking you to look at what you have said. Please stop.

If you wish to discuss the status of my diagnosis, I would be glad to discuss it with you privately... however, I fail to see the relevance, and would appreciate you not making assumptions without information.


M.

Whoa. Thanks for your empassioned primer. It really is unfortunate that so many aspie guys behave like that.

I think only another woman would understand how insulting and frightening some of the random aspie male theories on women are. Some of them definitely raise red flags in my amateur profiler mind.

ANYWAY - I wish these young aspie fellas would use their brilliant minds to "let go". They need to learn that left-brain analysis of **love** is self-defeating, at best. At its worst, it freaks chicks out because the guys look and act like stalkers or worse. (Psychotic sadistic misogynists).

I have a 16 year old aspie son - so I am hoping to teach him how to look at women as equals. Just need a better handle on the young male aspie mind.

Mme LePen, Thank You!! !

I suppose I don't identify that much with some of those posts (as they seem to suggest a plethora of Sharon Stone type women are milling about, desparate to have a young AS guy as a partner), but the stereotyping is awful and I'm of the age when 40 is not that far off

I did (pointlessly) try to suggest that all this "older women know stuff" is quite possibly a huge steaming pile of....mistaken assumptions??

And this whole stupid Demi Moore/Madonna inspired fantasy that an older woman will be finacially secure, have less anxieties, and in fact will be there just to emotionally hand hold them (and is disposable when a potential child bearer comes along) is particularly insulting in an AS forum, when we (men and women of all ages) are potentially looking for some reassurances about how we might be viewed and what our relationship expectations should be...

grrrr. Rant over.

I have always gone for older guys - I want someone I can have a conversation with! Many also seem to be more tolerant of difference, as they have been around a while and aren't necessarily defined by who's hanging on their arm. A sense of self confidence (without arrogance) is handy, I cannot cope with clingy, insecure behaviour.
The finacial stability element is nice, but not necessary. I really can say that at the moment, since I am starving on an academic scholarship and not living off someone else!
Someone with a degree of independance is always good.

Couldn't agree more! It's not about financial safety/security. Its about protecting us from things that go bump in the night.

I think this thread has crossed the line. Everyone has their own insecurities and for women to complain about guys sweeping the gender brush concerning women, people are doing the same in this thread towards younger men. I think there's a way to discuss the topic at hand without being insulting and inflammatory.

but the people with the most polarised views are always the most vocal.

I don't necessarily think that "age" itself is the issue. It's more about finding someone you can cope with. For me, that tends to be older guys, since those around my age do not seem to have the same priorities as me. For someone else, a younger guy may be what they want - it's up to the individual.
This is not a sweeping inclusion - not saying that I would never consider someone my age or younger, or that older guys are always the answer (the worst treatment I experienced was at the hands of an older, more "confident" guy), but that in my case, older males seem to be more likely to fit what I want out of a relationship.

(Seriously thinking about leaving WP and going back to Planet Earth.)

I thought the women's forum was "safe" - but I was wrong.

Um, was that me again? Did I upset someone? If so, I'm sorry and did not intend to. I tend to make similar mistakes online to those in "real life". If it matters, my last post was intended as a clarification of my earlier statement, not as a stroppy response to any other comments.
I'm still not very good at this....

What makes this part of the forum unsafe from the rest? You lost me.

My response was directed more towards the tone that Ticker was taking and how that unfolded. I think it's awful to slam younger aspies and make such callous comments towards them and sweep them with the gender brush and say that they'll never get a woman and such. I also have had a lot of experience with men on the spectrum in a variety of age groups and it really is individual.

Maybe the younger ones you've crossed paths with on here have been the vocal ones. That doesn't mean they speak for the majority. I would hate to see a young aspie male, who already has his own insecurities, to read a thread such a this and see it as truth. I think that's sad. I wouldn't want someone saying anything like that about my own aspie son.

But you're right. Respect and boundaries do need to be taught. I agree.

I think some young men (AS or otherwise) do treat older women in a derogatory way...and I've read a lot of posts over the couple of years I've been here, putting down women of all ages but older women especially. I kind of expect it now. A few women left because of it, around the time I joined. I was sorry that they felt forced into leaving. There was a guy here who used to stalk the Women's Discussion forum deliberately freaking out some of the quieter younger women. He either left or was banned, but that's one reason why I don't post much in here. I don't think men should post in the Women's Discussion Forum, or that there should be a strictly-enforced 'women only' section of it. I'd really like to discuss women's topics with other AS women (I don't get the opportunity anywhere else but here) but if I post about the menopause or whatever, I just don't want responses from men, who have no experience of it. I don't mind so much the gauchness of inquisitive youngsters, but I think with some members it's just prurience or subtle bullying.

I'm not having a go at all men here by any means. There are good guys here! But you generally don't find them posting in the 'period pains' type of topics

I hope you don't leave, MmeLePen.

I agree. And in my case, big hairy spiders!

> Color me naive but I didn't know guys thought of us like that

Check out reddit. The majority of people there are male in their 20s, according to a recent poll. The number of "I'd hit it" and worse posts -- well, lucky my scroll finger is fast. These people don't deserve any attention, but I go there for some fun threads and some interesting ones. I read recently that porn makes up *30%* of the bandwidth of the internet. A lot of people out there must be unbalanced. Again, people worth steering clear of. The attitude is much less pervasive but still present on more intelligent sites.

Ticker has had some very bad experiences with people on here. I can understand her outraged reaction to that.

Someone once told me, "You have to look where the comment is coming from." Quite often I can understand that the awful repulsiveness of the comment is due to the person's inexperience, inability, et cetera. I think that applies here in many cases. I've seen some grim sex threads here. Looked at a couple. Now when I see such topics, I give it a miss. [I just wish people more often would have looked at me and said, "Oh, she's an aspie. She doesn't mean anything by it. She doesn't know any better." Or even, "Let's explain objectively why she shouldn't say things like that."]

Now, when one of our leaders or someone in a professional context says something sexist and ignorant, that may be more important, because they have influence and responsibility.