What's up with AS girls marrying so early...?

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Hm. I have to say most of the speculation of people who did not get married earlier or do not want to about why other people do seems very inaccurate to me. For my part I was ready to get married when I was 17 and I would have if the person I wanted to marry had been so inclined. I ended up marrying (someone else) when I was 24. It didn't work out, I am now divorced (regarding the person who said you have to prove incompatibility when getting divorced... that was not the case. I think this varies by state).

I have never felt I got married too young nor do I think I would have felt this if I got married at 17. The reason was, I was in love, I knew I would be committed to that person, and I have never felt the point of "dating" or uncommitted relationships. You're either dedicated to the person or not. If you are in, you are absolutely loyal. I had always wanted to be a wife and mother and in a committed relationship. The idea of a relationship that is not fully committed bothers me. Of course, I have since found out that other people do not necessarily view marriage this way and it does not mean they are fully committed to you, nor do they necessarily view love that way. I am not sure I have encountered any one who shares my version of love, which cannot contemplate purposeful harm to the other person. Perhaps many of us get married young because we are only interested in deep committed relationships not trying out different people in a more superficial relationship?

Personally I don't feel I am immature though other people sometimes say I act this way, I feel a lot more mature than most people I know. I think the perception of immaturity is more due to not behaving in the expected way or getting upset about things that they do not think should be upsetting.

Please don't judge me, I don't know why I am the way I am, although I am diagnosed AS & OCD. By the time I was 17 I had a two year relationship with an older guy. Then I dated a guy for 3 year years, and then met my husband at the age of 21. My prior boyfriend I wasn't into marrying, but had that obsession part of it...but he always wanted to be around me. My husband wasn't the type that was afraid to be alone, and he very much had his own life. I chased him and he told me he was falling in love with me, yet he still would take a lot of time to himself. I was so obsessed that I couldn't be apart from him. So we got married 7 months later and I was 22. For the first few years I was pretty attentive to him and still attracted to him...we have been married 11 years, but I married a man like my AS father who is an avoidant personality. He has neglected me for years and I never realized that he was manipulative until we went to two marriage counselors. They both said that we will probably get divorced because my husband doesn't want to work on issues. So over the 11 year marriage I have had two affairs! Both happened when a guy chased me for months, I gave in, and I became completely obsessed! My psychologist and psychiatrist attribute my obsession part with OCD...which is true, I do have co-occuring OCD, and I become so obsessed that I become compulsive and do things I don't want to do, but its like I have to else I'll die, or freak out, or feel like I need to check myself into a mental hospital. The second guy it happened with turned out to be bi-polar I think, and we argued through text message. My husband knows about the affairs but not all the details of the last one. I hate myself for this though, because I should be a Christian girl...but at 33, I am very vulnerable to falling for a guy if he persues me..so right now I feel like I am going through withdrawls because I told him I was moving to get away from him. Crazy I know...I am crazy. Sometimes I feel I should go to a psych ward to figure myself out. Its like a romance addiction...NOT sex addiction...I love the new of a new relationship, the excitement and brain chemicals that flood my brain. That is what it is. Perhaps its because my marriage is unsatisfactory, but I have always been dumped by the guys I was really obsessed with, or dumped everyone else that I got tired of. Sex makes me become even more obsessed / attached.

been going out with my boyfriend (1st) for almost a year. we are planning on getting married when both of us are older (i turned 18 last month, he turns 19 in february).

my opinion is under 21 is too young to get married, but again, that's just me

me and boy friend have been seen i was 13 and were get married

I think society, ideals of past generations where getting married young was expected, etc. all play into things. I'm 36, still not married, I am a single mom of two boys. I don't lack for the desire to get married one day, just the one and when are the issues.

I've been with my husband since I was 17, we got married when I was 20 (he was 21). For me it's like everything else- if i'm interested in something I'm really interested in something. Before I met my husband I had no interest what-so-ever in relationships or love. Something just clicked... he got me, I got him. We balance each other out (he's more emotional, i'm more logical, he's disorganized, i'm at times anal retentive). I don't know why anyone else does anything they do but personally, for me it's just a matter of all or nothing. Like I said, i'm either really into something or not at all... I just happened to find the one person that I could really get interested in. And he puts up with me so...

joe and i love each very much i live far away because of school so it is hard were are waiting untill were older but we make sure we secure each others heart

I have a feeling good looks has much to do with it as well.

That surprises me. I'm 35 and I have never been married. I find it weird that other women with Asperger's actually get (and stay married). I have no desire whatsoever to be married or even have a relationship. The thought of sharing everything, especially my bedroom, with another human being gives me chills. I LOVE my freedom and independance, my need for privacy is extreme. I will never have kids, either becuse my life would be OVER. It drives me wild when other women would rather be with a guy and be miserable than alone and happy. I thought it was part of my asperger's but maybe not, hmmm.
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Glad that I am not the only person that feels like you do. I'm a little younger than you, but feel the same way. I choose not to be married either.

I'm not engaged or married, but the person I'm with hints he wants to get married...and I'm 19. No hanky-panky between us though. He says he enjoys sharing his thoughts with me and we're one of a kind. It's intellectual and emotional compatibility. There is a big age difference though.

I married on June 20th 2009 at age 23.

I met my husband online few weeks before my 22nd birthday and then we met on my birthday.

He accepted everything about me loved me the way I am and he didn't cause my anxiety and didn't expect things out of me.

You know, being married doesn't oblige you to have children. It's just pressure from society. One reason I married my husband is that while we both love kids, neither of us wants to have any. He's not paternal and I'm not maternal, but we love spending time with our 2- and 3-year-old nephews.

There's also no reqirement (at least in the US) that a married woman change her name. I didn't. My husband did think seriously about taking my name, but in the end he did not. My parents are two of the most wonderful people I know. It never even crossed my mind to give up the last name I share with them. If my husband had insisted on my changing my name, I would not have married him.

I'm an aspie (my husband is not), but I did not marry especially young. I married at 30; I honestly think that no one should get married before age 30. (Although it's a bit hypocritical of me to say so, as my husband was 28 at the time!) We'd been together for 5 years and cohabiting for 4. For us, the marriage was a celebration of our love and commitment that we could share with family, friends, and a chance to declare ourselves life partners before all those people and G-d. The wedding was very nice, with it's own funny foibles (so it was not perfect), but it's the marriage that matters, and that seems to be going well so far!

If I had found my forever mate at age eighteen, I would have most definitely gotten married.
Being a wife and mother is something I want more than anything.

Maybe there is a correlation?

I am a 25 year old that is not diagnosed, but I do share a lot of the same quirky traits that my oldest son has - we are in the process of having him evaluated for Asperger's syndrome. I got married at only 20 and have been married for almost 5 years now (our oldest was born out of wedlock). Honestly, I never had dreams of attending a major university and starting a career. I wanted nothing more than to be a mother and a wife and honestly, I still would not have it any other way.

The one thing I want more than anything is to be married. It's the ultimate acceptance; someone actually loves you enough to declare it publicly and is willing to be with you til the end. Nothing else is worth it. Maybe I feel this way because I never had a mother who wanted me / was made to feel like a burden all my life.

I have so much love to give, yet it seems no one wants it. I'm starting to withdraw inwards and become bitter towards people. I don't want that, but I have to protect myself from a loveless world.