Extreme issues about breasts and female body

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feel your pain ive always wanted a flat chest which apparently makes me odd but breasts do disgust me in general its the bouncing that gets me if it were firm it may have been somewhat bearable but as they are just disgusting i truely believe breasts are way over rated

and if i have to hear appreciate what you were born with one more time i will go mad my statement to this is i wasnt born with breasts and i will not appreciate them i find it sadistic that you can so easily have them enlarged but its so difficult do have then decreased gotta love our disgusting society

It's probably different where you are but here I had no trouble getting a breast reduction. I just went to the doctor complaining of neck, shoulder, and back pain and they sent me for a referral (obviously I had asked for the reduction, they didn't just send me because of random neck, shoulder, and back pain ). Although if you have small ones already or want them taken off completely then I guess it would be more difficult.

I sometimes wish the surgeon would have taken my breasts off completely because even though they're smaller than they were, they are still strange and I don't like having them. I very much relate with the OP and others who have expressed similar views. I can usually cope with my lower half because I can forget about it most of the time, but I definitely hate these stupid growths that hang off of my chest. I really wish I could accept my body as it is.

waistcoats can be flattering on the female form depending on how they are cut. there are even shirts and jeans out now called boyfriend shirts and boyfriend jeans. apparently these are made in a masculine shape.

> I can't say it feels particularly comfortable or glamorous either). Not to the point of wanting a sex change, but just enough to feel weird. But I think I'm beginning to accept myself more lately. It seems to be mostly about not associating my body with non-physical concepts. Just because I have a male body doesn't mean I have to associate myself with the negative/destructive aspects of conventional masculinity.

Interesting comment. That is how it was for me, too. Sure, people *still* rudely ask me if I have children or make other related comments, ie they assume that is what "females" do, but that is their problem, not mine. As you say, no need to take on those cultural associations just because other people have them. I am free, in the end. Thanks for posting! And thanks to the original poster for posting, because I did not realize so many people have gone through what I went through alone.

Thank you so much to you all for your advice and for sharing your experiences.

The idea that I am a trans man has occurred to me and I am not ruling it out. But when I think about having surgery it does not appeal to me. Yes, I want rid of my breasts in a sense, but I feel as though the problem that needs treating is that very thing - the hatred of them, the wanting them gone. Not the breasts themselves. I don't mean to offend anyone who is trans or knows trans people, and I would always be the first to admit that my knowledge is limited, but the idea of having healthy tissue removed just seems wrong to me. I've discussed this with my boyfriend, who loves my female body and who would find it hard to stay with me if I transitioned and even he is more accepting of the idea than I am!

I think it's quite likely that my disgust at my body is a result of reacting to and internalising the discrimination against women that is so pervasive in society, like a few people have mentioned in the thread. That suggests I am not a trans man but just an unhappy woman. And that means it is my unhappiness that needs treatment, not my womanhood.

I am interested by the connection between ASD and Gender Identity issues. I suspect that what society teaches us about gender roles etc. is illogical and people only believe it because their social mechanisms work to diguise the illogicality. People with ASD don't have the social mechanisms to the same extent so the nonsensical, contradictory nature of gender is revealed to us as it is rather than being cloaked in layers of other stuff relating to social acceptance, group cohesion etc.

For years I simply did not see gender. I saw people with different shaped bodies and I realised most were heterosexual but that was as far as it went with me. I heard and read about gender roles and sexism but it was like reading science fiction or ancient history - a made-up world where Men are Men and Women are Women (and little green creatures from Alpha Centauri were little green creatures from Alpha Centauri). Then one day I got it. I saw that people are sexists NOW and gender roles exist NOW. I was about 19. I was a late developer indeed!

Just remember that while sexism is unfortunately a real and even "popular" thing, doesn't mean it's based in reality or has any weight. Society keeps saying men are this and women are that, but only you can determine what you are. The fact that you are female doesn't have to make you any of the things associated with it, just as the fact that I am male doesn't have to make me any of the things associated with that, and I try to remind myself all the time that society has no place defining who I am - that is all up to me. While I do recognize that there's an imbalance, sexism does go both ways to some extent (I've heard men blamed for everything that's wrong with the world so many times, and sometimes it's hard to separate myself from that), but we have to remember that that's not how causality works. My gentials don't create wars. You are not defined by your body. You are a person, defined by who you are and who you choose to be.

Anomie, I had a think about what factors I think made my own issues go away:

1 - I had taken up several sports and I'd come to mostly think of my body as a machine for running or lifting heavy things, rather than just a soft fatty sack for having babies with, which was empowering.

2 - I had "found out who I was" within 2/3 years and learned lots more skills and done well with schoolwork (or homeschool work, more accurately), again, this helped me to think of myself as a whole human being who had skills and abilities and personal power rather than just a baby maker.

I hope it will be the same for you.

your right its mainly because they're not huge lol though still irratating but i find it amusing that you have to have your mental state examined by the very people who dont have breasts but if you want to have balloons for breasts like Jorden go ahead free on the NHS to help your confidence

Thank you for this. I can definitely relate to the sports thing because whenever I have a phase of exercising I start liking my body more (and I once did so much exercise that my breasts got considerably smaller, which needless to say I enjoyed).

I think it's that you associate your body with ability, rather than with being primarily reproductive, and that it empowering.

Good luck overcoming your problems. Take care.

It may just be that this is something you need to progress in counseling with and the your truth will make itself known to you eventually, sometimes you have to look at it as a process and you will get more answers further down the path, i.e. more will be revealed. It's clear you have everything within yourself that you need to make a decision one way or another.

The only thing I want to add is that cultural male reaction to the female body is really about fear of our power and the desire to diminish or take away from that power. It's so buried that males aren't even aware that's what they are doing. The whole 'stupid female' and lesser than stuff is just a cover.

I also share feelings like the ones being discussed in here. like femininity and issues with certain body parts.
Breasts arent on my black-list luckly mine are so small i dont even need a bra. I have a different problem...

I think it would be alot easier to be a gay man than a woman. Because i could still be womanly without the batcave townthere.
vaginas are gross to me. Id take the homophobia over having a vagina. Seriously the redneck beatings would be worth it to me.

Just the idea of vag in general, i find them repulsive and they make me want to go to a safe place.
Probably because theres so much pressure that comes with having one and being a woman in general. It really has its toll and ive had enough because men never have to worry about their junk unless someone trys to kick them. I've known male aquaintances who said they dont even bother getting tested for STD'S because its a "woman problem" (and people wonder why i never have sex)
We always get it worse because of vagina, the constant gyno visits and monthly periods, yeast infections, pregnancy, the waxing the checking to make sure theres no unusual smells or mishaps. Female genitalia is graded SO harshly and it has the most stuff happening to it or secreating from it and im personally sick of it.
If i could wake up with nothing there like a ken doll id SO do it.
I hate having a vagina i think its like a trap attached to me and ill never be happy with myself untill its gone or drys up completely and never leaks anything again. (perhaps theres a way to completely kill the menstrual cycle...)

I don't mind having a vagina. I hate my uterus, though. I don't want babies, so why do I have to carry around inside me this thing that causes:

- severe cramping
- what I think may be anemia - iron craving, feeling really weak, near fainting (and flailing around the room with my motor skills gone to pieces for like 20 seconds afterwards...I assume that's do to with the loss of blood flow to the brain)...

Yeah, why do I have to have one??

I don't care about my body. It should be healthy, nothing more. Sometimes I forget I have it. I don't care about my gender, I'm just a human, Homo Aspiens.

I don't care if my clothes or cosmetics are for men or women. If I like it, I buy it.

I think about my body only when I buy clothes. If you are tall and you have about 40 cm (15,75 inches) difference between bust and waist, it's not easy. Clothes-shopping reminds me I have a body and it's problems-making X-body, sometimes it makes me cry/meltdown.
Bra Community helps me to accept I wear 30HH and my body has X-shape. Before I wanted to be totally neutral, Androgyne. Now I don't care so much

I feel in feminine clothes like a trans. I prefer neutral. Sometimes I wear Gothic clothes, corsets, long dresses, high heels etc. I like it, but it's for me like a masquerade, not me.

I feel with other girls not like one of them, but like their bodyguard. I'm much taller than them, my voice is louder and deeper, my motions are less fragile, I am dressed in black and I don't know about what they talk. And why they laugh all the time and care about men.

Sometimes I'd like use my body proportions and feel like Pin-up, but I don't know how to and why.

^ You sound just like me. If I like something I'll wear it.

I had problems with that as a young teen because I didn't look obviously male or female, and my mom used to get really concerned and try and get me to be more female-typical. I liked the way I was but I think she worried about me.

I still like to look androgynous, but I don't feel so strongly against being highly feminine any more. I like loose clothes and I secretly like when people can't tell if I am male or female (got mistaken for a guy once...I was buying a glittery necklace, no less, and I heard the woman selling it to me say to her son 'Give this dude his change for me'...Maybe she thought I was buying it for my girlfriend, ), but I won't have a rage fit over it. It's just a preference, not an infected wound in my psyche.

I know this. When I was teen, I wasn't X-shaped. I was tall, well-built*, not sweet-and-fragile and was thought as a boy. Sth like Hey, guy, could you tell me...?


*it doesn't mean overweight. I have strong bones and I easy gain muscles.

Last edited by Valoyossa on 06 Mar 2010, 12:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.