Things you were told as a young girl

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"sit up straight"

You should _____, it'll put hair on your chest! (Dad)
Don't chew gum with your mouth open, you sound like a cow chewing cud! (Mom)
You're just like your father!! (Mom)
Don't wear red, it looks horrible on you! (Mom) - Yet, now that I do wear it people say how great it looks on me!
Don't eat watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach! (Dad)
Just wait until you have kids! (Mom)
Eat three more bites, then you can be done. (Mom)

The most common one with me was ''I wish you had friends, you'll realise when you're older you need friends''

"if you sit with your legs open men will think you want to have sex"
"Zippers were made for the convenience of men" (a reason a grandma gave as to why I as a girl shouldn't wear pants that had a front zipper)
"Try to act normal"
"Are you going to still be watching cartoons when you're 30?" (my brother asked this when I was 13 and I said YES!)
"You just haven't grown up. I wish you had more adult interests. You need to be cured of your interest in toys."
"<insert full name with last name included>, strong and able, keep your elbows off the table. This is not a horse's stable, but a first class dining table." (last i checked, horses didn't lean on their elbows, either eating or at any other time)
"Shaving your hair will cause it to grow back thicker"
"Don't talk about Transformers to anybody"
"Don't take stuffed animals to school"
"Don't draw in class"

From my grandmother:
...if you sleep with your hair tied up you'll get dents in your skull.

...if you keep pulling that face you'll get stuck that way.

...if you tear a playing card in half a devil will come out and steal your soul.

...why don't you do X/tie your hair X/wear X, it'll make you look so 'mod.' (As if I wanted to look like what my grandmother considered fashionable.)

From my mother:

...sit cross-legged when you sit on the floor, it'll stop your legs going bandy.

...don't fight with your sister, if she breaks her neck you'll be the one looking after her for the rest of your life. O_O

...don't fight with your cousin either, one day you'll need a man you can trust.

...just close your eyes and you'll fall asleep right away.

...boys are pigs, you can be glad you don't have a brother.

...oh, you're such a creature of habit.

"act like a young lady, young lady!"

my response: "but i'm not a lady!! !"

(my impression: ladies wore nice skirt suits and pillbox hats. XD)

"You look like a ret*d." (I thought so too.)
"Fetch me some water, you idiot." (and I did.)
"No one will want to EVER marry you with that butt." (she was wrong on that - three times.)
"You will always be alone." (not so.)
"Look at me when I talk to you, you freak." (I really tried.)
"Take care of your teeth because they are the only good thing you have." (I do have good teeth.)
(to my cousin Cindy)"Oh, Cindy! You are my real daughter! You and your cousin were traded in the maternity ward!" (impossible as we are three years apart)
"You look like an imbecil! Don't you have any other face?" (I didn't!! !)
"I would never take you anywhere!" (And she didn't.)
"Well's cork. Short and stout." (I was.)
(when outside) "Call me Tina! Not mom!" (and I did.)

And on and on and on. This is not even close to being a comprehensive list.

These were done repeatedly, in front of the rest of the family.

The fact that I didn't know how to respond and usually did nothing, only made me an easier target. I now know the meaning of many of the faces she used to make; not really a pretty list.

Now she wonders why I managed to get 6000 miles away and why I never call.

By the way, I DID grow, lose the weight, and looked great after I was 15. Even learned how to have normal facial expressions (turns out it's all in the eyebrows, or a great part of it).

My self-confidence was shot for many years; kept on going into abusive relationships. I only started getting out of the hole in 2005, in great part thanks to my husband - he has a giant translator for everything I do. I can't believe I got this lucky. I never have to worry about what I say or how I act with him. And he is also a big goofball (finally, acceptance.)

Turns out I am pretty smart; finally gathered guts enough to take the Mensa test and passed. I had finished the college I wanted in 2001; I am a great (really) kid's book illustrated, not yet published - my self esteem is not all the way there yet ( also would be nice if I could stop researching things on the net ))

PS. My dad was amazing. Pity he wasn't around when she did these things. And I never told on her.

I really don't know, but I am sure it is something serious. She was very cruel to my father as well -- who I believe might have had AS, but was never diagnosed.

Currently we are able to talk on the phone, in great part because she went deeply into religion about 6 years ago (won't cut her hair, church whenever possible, bugs everybody to convert, etc). She mainly talks to me about God. Which is fine by me.

ticktockpop I'm so sorry you have such a hard time as a child no mother should ever speak to a kid like that. You should be very proud of all you done and who you are and it sounds to me like you are.

My grandmother..bless her heart..used to make me pinch my nose together all the time because she said that would stop it from getting bigger so I could have a little nose like my cousin. I hated to disappoint her, but I have a huge nose, the pinching didn't help LOL.

Also, my grandmother would ALWAYS get onto me for slouching and walking with my head down. When I was around her I had to walk with my head up and eyes straight forward and swing my arms. She would tell me to put some personality and life into my walk..I had no idea what that meant at that time but I guess it makes sense now..sort of?

My mom would constantly ask "why can't you be like the other kids?" and someone would always tell me to drink milk because it would make my chest grow.

Don't sit too close to the tv or your eyes will go square.
Eat your crusts so your hair will curl.
WALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON! ( i tiptoed everywhere)
Tell your mother what you just said (lol)

"5 minutes of fun can equal a lifetime of misery."



That's actually true! Good advice.

Herpes is forever.

I was told nice girls don't call boys on the phone. This was after I tried to call a classmate for info on a group project.