Too pretty to have AS

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I have the struggle where if someone calls me "hot" then I'm thinking, "well, if this guy thinks I'm hot then why did he broke up with me?" I never break up with anyone.I feel bad when people break up with me because they think I'm weird or I hesitate on doing something that normal people do and want to do all the time ( I'm reluctant to ride a bike on the side of the road and have someone stand as I'm riding on the pegs among other things) When my mother told the principal back in middle school that I had PDD-NOS, an ASD he replied to my mom "She doesn't look autistic to me!" really ignorant
So many people only know of the lesser functioning autistics and don't realize that just because you can talk alot and do your work fairly well doesn't mean that you don't have difficulties and problems. Sometimes I don't tell people my diagnosis because I don't want them to call me mean names and not be my friend anymore/avoid me. There are alot of mean people out there

I switch between comfy cloths and slightly fashionable cloths, but if my shirt is an itchy material, I'll wear a soft undershirt under it. Arms still itch, but nobody is complaining about my itching.

However, I have been discriminated against by people because I wear those slightly fancy clothing... Until they realize my tag is out and we argue over the tag for awhile. "Why don't you cut it?" "Cause my hand coordination would destroy the shirt!! !" I have literally destroyed shirts taking people's advice in cutting the tag, furthermore, it leaves a little behind THAT IS NOT GOING TO BE FIXED BY PULLING THE TAG OUT OF MY SHIRT FOR IT TO REST ON MY NECK. SCREW THAT. I now look for shirts that especially have no tags on them.

As for pants... Pants are pants are pants... but I hate these ones I have that have elastic in them. Can't go minutes without scratching my legs!


Dang those people who think of only the simplest of things that aspies do. Especially if they think that in order to be an aspie you have to be ret*d and incapable of bettering yourself to some point in which you blend in somewhat! When they discriminate like this, it's like they're holding youo back from being what you want and doing what you want. So screw 'em!

I've never been told I'm too pretty to have AS. I'm quite pretty, but dyspraxic, so maybe I look worse.
I've been told I'm too smart to have AS, because there's a stereotype that Autistic people are on lower IQ-level and they can't live on their own.

Depends on what you consider "looks". I had a friend who was even more beautiful without the trendy cloths and make-up...a natural beauty. But that was my opinion. Her boyfriend's reaction to her without all the frosting was not too good. I'll NEVER understand that SOB. He even tweezed his own eyebrows. Such vanity.

Men are stupid. They say they like natural women, but really they gravitate towards women who wear fancy clothes, blow wave and straighten their hair, wear fake tan and makup.

One girl I know wears fake tan all the time and she mentioned she was getting some (more) to go on holiday and a guy told her not to wear it because its not attractive. (who also happens to drool over her) The irony was she always wears it anyway.

They don't know what they like because they think girls wake up in the morning with fully done hair, tan, makeup and clothing - they think they look like that all the time because thats what they SEE all the time.

I totally agree!

an old ex who was from the middle east remarked to me how strange it was in his country that all the little girls had uni brows and moustashes but when they became women they didnt. lol obviously not heard of tweezers!

i get told i don't "look" like i have aspergers syndrome fairly frequently, and my theory is that media portrayals (esp when women with aspergers are featured in the news) all feature women who look exactly like temple grandin (usually because they are temple grandin.) i have kind of... exaggerated female features and i don't fit the androgynous, all-denim-outfit wearing stereotype the media seems to have put out there.


you would think that my lazy eye would give away that i've got some sort of neurological issue but i guess all people see is tits tits tits

It's the prejudice that pretty = social. And to some degree it does help. People generally like pretty people more and will let them get away with more because they're seen as already behaving "normal" in one very obvious way; looks.

I'm good at dressing nice. Just a natural skill I got I suppose. But I don't make the effort usually because I'm a little fat and I just feel like I look like I*m compensating for it if I dress up. That and my OCD makes it difficult to do anything at all.

Even though I always been somewhat attractive, even at my prettyist in high school...the other students called me the chic from mars. I never get told that I dont look AS although some had said that I dont act that way...but I kind of have a dreamy unfocused look about me that gives me away.

I dont know why it is bothersome for us to be told we dont look or act AS..but it does

Never happened to me, and I'm apparently very pretty.

I told a co-worker once that I was an Aspie, and he told me that i wasn't. He and I went back and forth until I told him it was diagnosed. He then told me that I could believe whatever I wanted but he didn't believe that I was. Mainly because he said that I was too smart and pretty.

I once had a Dr. tell me that there was no way I could be. I was too nice for that. (That was when we were first looking into it)

Jeez, why are those media trying to find problems when there aren't any? :p I mean, there are non AS, who like fashion and there are some who don't. And no one would even dare to ask how common it is among them b/c it's supposed to be "normal". So what makes AS people any different from the rest when it comes to looks? Nothing really! When I'm at home, I like comfy clothes and I tend to wear them up to 3 days in a row, so what? I'm not the only one. When I go out, I like nice clothes and decent make up, just like any average girl on this planet. However, we should keep in mind that the way we dress, the way we behave does represent our personality, which is of course noticed by others around us. But, as we know, most women have some issues when it comes to their looks, and the reasons for it differ as much as all people do.

When I do tell people I have AS, there generally fairly surprised but I dont know if it has anything to do with my looks. But I've been complimented here and there as of having somewhat of a sense of style. I dress and look fairly normal I guess. My hygiene and grooming arent the best but I do enough to pull it off decently. My friends used to tell me I was lucky because they knew how little effort I put into my look. I dont look, "ret*d", ugly, with obviously poor hygiene.

Same here. My appearance was always one of my obsessions, from the time I was a toddler. I've actually had several boyfriends be attracted to that in the beginning, but then pressure me to tone it down due to their own insecurities.. so I would stop dressing as cute & spending as much time on my hair and makeup just to keep these men happy. I am now realizing how much it makes ME happy to be able to play dress up and express myself through my personal style.

I've never had the problem of people telling me I "don't have AS", probably for the simple reason that I don't tell anyone I have it!

But I can totally see where the original poster is coming from. Looks are nearly everything in the world today, especially for women. People base the way they react to you on what you look like. Part of it is attractiveness, but part of it is also "looking the part". You can look "friendly" or "smart" or "athletic" or whatever. People will base their opinions of you on it.

Myself, I apparently look the way a competent businesswoman is supposed to look, whatever that entails. In business situations, people trust me and they easily climb aboard my bandwagon. I don't know why this is. It's not something I consciously do. As far as looks go, I look ok but I'm certainly not supermodel pretty, so there's more to it than simply attractiveness.

I think good looks and general attractiveness can conceal Asperger's in some ways. Looking back at my school years, I was one odd duck and the same disconnect coming from, say a guy who was not good-looking, would probably have resulted in bullying and ostracism. With me, being known as a pretty girl in honors classes, I got away with a lot more. Even now, I feel like men find my "eccentricities" cute and kind of charming, whereas if I was ugly, I think they would judge it more harshly.

Of the people I've come out to Aspie-wise, at least half have responded along the lines of "Nonsense, Aspies are clueless and you look great and have your s**t together." It's a ridiculous but pervasive stereotype that Aspies are a hot mess. I've always been able to walk into a room like I own it and I've also learned verbal methods and facial expressions to maintain face even when I'm feeling lost inside. But like other women here, being naturally reserved and shy has led a lot of other women to conclude I'm a conceited b***h. People just tend to associate an outgoing, confident nature with certain looks.