Lesbian aspies

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I'm bi. Women are so complicated I only had a few successful relationships with them. I don't understand how their minds work.

i didn't know i was really truly attracted to women until after i was married. i had a couple of vague experimental experiences as a teenager but nothing really too sexual (just kissing, exploration).

i had some issues with accepting my own body until i was in my 30s, so that caused me problems with really appreciating other women. once i matured, i became open to the reality that i am attracted to women as well as men. i don't think my aspieness made it harder, but maybe that's because i'm bi and not fully lesbian. i think it's possible that other women might have problems accepting a girlfriend who is not socially well-lubricated.

other bi or lesbian women of my age tend to be looking for LTR or serious relationships... and i already have one. so i appreciate them from afar.

Same here. I'm not really interested in having a "relationship" with a woman, though, and I don't intentionally seek out women for sex. But if the opportunity arises spontaneously, I wouldn't turn away from it.




I'm well-lubricated ...

hahaha! that is exactly the kind of lubrication that helped hyperexian to wear some "comfortable shoes" once. liquid courage!

From a very early age it was clear I was different, so it never occurred to me that there was anything unusual about liking girls. I had few friends throughout school and by middle school I had my first serious crush we became physically involved in highschool and were out to the point that we went to prom together!. In some ways it was easier to have aspergers and be lesbian in highschool because I was already such a complete outsider as it was, plus I had her, everything seemed bearable. Now, after attempting to go straight and having two kids its a very different story. I have chatted with and met many women over the years, a few became friends by the time your in your 30's the social nuances become so much more complex and unfathomable.

Yeah, it gets way more difficult. I have zero female friends where as a teenager I'd usually at least have one.

May I ask why you tried going straight?

I had been unable to find a girlfriend for a few years and was not looking forward to exposing myself to homophobia again, he and I hung out daily and he talked me into trying. So soon I was pregnant and the rest is history , he is now resigned to being my friend and coparent.

i work with a couple like that. she is fully lesbian, but somehow he is an exception. they have children together.

i don't wanna sound whiny, but being bisexual can be difficult because you have to choose between the two genders if you want a long-term relationship, or you end up in a weird or unsatisfying arrangement.

would you consider yourself bi, or are you totally lesbian?

Lesbian, I was never attracted to him or any other man , it just seemed like the logical thing to do , an experimant gone awry lol. But seriously yes he helps me alot and knew I was lesbian when he met me and that I would go back.

I used to be out bi and I was way more interested in women than men. The homophobia made me so miserable that after a few years I really just went right back in the closet. Women were so difficult for me to pursue because they're more complex than men (to me anyway).

And along hyperlexian's line of thought, I agree, there is a limitation that you can feel. I feel my relationship with my husband is great but sometimes I'd really, really like a gf. I haven't kissed a woman in so long that sometimes I feel like I could explode. He's said he'd be fine with me having a gf, but my social skills are abysmal. I have to face the reality.

Its not a lost cause , its not easy but I am approaching it like an experiential not taking it personally anymore. Meeting new people even only once has really helped me with my social skills : )

I'm lesbian. I've been lesbian since I was 13.

I'm lesbian and definitely have a hard time trying to understand the psychology of women. The woman I'm dating and I are sometimes on two completely different wavelengths, but she understands that I'm different and seems accommodating to a lot of my weirdness. I really have a hard time trying to tap into what women are thinking though. I read energy wrong, have a hard time with body language, and have some back-standing trust issues. I'm pretty self-aware though and am really trying to be more out there and learn to interact in a stereotypical "NT" way. I think that men are a little easier to read and understand than women, but I have no real sexual attraction to them and could never consider going back or having a relationship with one again. I'm set with women for life.

I have been away from the gay scene for years now mostly because I am more comfortable with my straight friends. Recently I have been in social situations where there were lots of lesbians and I felt totally lost and unable to speak. It was strange because I have learnt to intereract well with others but I now realise that I find it really difficult with other lesbians. Maybe i'm just out of practice but the awkwardness I felt brought back lots of memories. I do wonder if/how I will meet anyone for a relationship or if I truely want one.

Suzi

Hey Suzi, I can totally feel ya when it comes to the whole lesbian scene... I've always found it so hard to be able to talk to them, I had the feeling that I don't fit in. Even if I managed to talk to someone, it turned out that I had no topic to talk about. Many of them appeared sort of aggressive (not physically, more mentally rude) to me. It seemed they were trying to show the world that they live the better "lifestyle"... I don't know how to explain this, but I can imagine that this kind of behavior might leave a bad impression on straight people who then would think lesbians are man haters and look like wannabe-dudes. I never wanted any group (gay or straight) to dictate how I'm supposed to be as a lesbian, so I pretty much avoided the scene or discussions with ignorant straight people. I only have a small bunch of friends (90% of them are straight) I talk to on a regular basis.

How to find a relationship in such a situation? Well, after I came out (at the age of 26) I have been single for many years. I found my first gf on a regular social community site, we were together for 3 years. We broke up due to some changes in our life priorities, but we're still friends. I was single again for some years, my ex found her perfect match by chance on a local lesbian dating site. Ironically enough, I found mine about 1 year later, on another lesbian dating page I haven't logged on for ages, b/c I was not a paying member. However, my gf was a huge surprise that came into my life, and it happened when I least expected it. I guess just like with many things in life, right?

I'm queer.