Dangerous Woman's Self Defense Myth

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.. then there's the crazy ones who find being kicked in the nads to be arousing....
That's why I wouldn't do it

I'd say carry it anyway if you feel like it, no prosecutor in the world would charge you if you defended yourself with it, the publicity would look too bad. Alternatively, you might consider a set of steel toed shoes for bad areas, they're like brass knuckles for your feet and are a great hidden asset that can't be taken from you and are 100% legal everywhere.

You've touched on a very important point; never carry a weapon that you're not 100% prepared and willing to use, hesitation is how weapons get taken away and turned on their owners. The stories of people having their own weapons used on them are somewhat exaggerated, but it still is a very personal choice and one that each person has to make for themselves. Like I told another poster, steel toed shoes are a good secondary option since you can't be disarmed and they're legal everywhere, plus they really do add a lot of oomph to kicks, which works well with the way women's body strength is distributed. I have a pair of steel toed tennis shoes that I wear at work myself, they were inexpensive and are unobtrusive, not to mention the how happy I've been when co workers stepped on my toes...

Sound advice says someone who escaped a rape attempt by busting the guy's kneecap. It's true he managed to break my arm and knock my head against a wall before that, but I count myself lucky anyway.

Pepper spray is illegal around here from what I know.

great advice Dox47. i am going to practice those moves on some non-living targets.

about the pepper spray conversation that came up.... i don't carry it, because i firmly believe that any weapon i carry can be used against me in a fight. especially since i am awkward and slow, i think that by the time i would have finished fussing around with the pepper spray can, the attacker would have already incapacitated me with it.

i tried using pepper spray once, as i lived in bear country and i wanted to try it out before facing danger, and i managed to spray myself in the face. enough said.

Sallamandrina, that is an incredible story.

I really don't understand the reasoning behind criminalizing pepper spray; I can hardly think of something more suitable for self defense yet awkward to use offensively. Having been exposed to pepper spray, I can say that it is virtually impossible to use without exposing yourself to the effects if you try to stay in the area after using it. In other words it's great if you spray and run (as in a self defense situation), but not if you try to spray someone and continue to attack them (as in an assault or robbery), in which case you may as well have sprayed yourself. This makes it virtually useless for criminals, but perfect for civilian self defense, especially in light of it's non-lethal nature and temporary effects. Not to get up on my soap box here, but the only rationale I can find for making it illegal is fear mongering and/or wanting citizens to be completely dependent on the police and government; far from a laudable goal in my book.

I'm happy to hear that you were successfully able to defend yourself Sall, and sorry you had to get hurt in the process. I can only hope that the busted knee put that particular individual out of the physically attacking people business, and that you recovered fully in time. I hate to sound like a broken record here, but given where you live I'd highly recommend the steel tip shoes route, in some areas they really are the only practical and legal self defense tool available.

I don't get it either and sadly agree with your conclusion. I used to have a mace about 15 years ago - I'm not sure if it was legal where I lived at the time and never had to use it but it made me feel better. I would never carry a knife as I don't know how to use one properly and understand the risks, but I would keep a gun in the house if it was legal as I'm both able and ready to use one if necessary.

I've lived in several European countries, including one place where it's illegal to attack an intruder (in your home) unless they attack you first. Even so, the amount of force and weapon/object you use will be measured against the attacker's and judged as "justifiable" or not. They probably expect you to help the guy pack your stuff and then call the insurance company and I've heard people saying that's the "civilised way to do things"



Thank you and you're right again - it was heavy winter and slippery and I was wearing steel toed boots, while he had tennis shoes on, but I'm not kidding myself, I know it was mostly luck. But I hope he has something to remember me by in his old age during the long winters, when old wounds start acting up

Glad you're finding it useful so far; I've taught some non-formal woman's self defense before and I don't know why it never occurred to me before to write a little bit about it here.

Take a look at this: http://www.spitfire.us/





This is what I keep on my key ring. It's really quick and easy to use, is almost impossible to use accidentally or on yourself, is very fast, and is unobtrusive to carry. The biggest drawback to me is that it looks suspiciously like a vibrator...

Also, even if you get sprayed with your own pepper spray, it's not the same as being cut with your own knife or shot with your own gun. As I pointed out, pepper spray is pretty indiscriminate once it's been released, if someone sprays you they've pretty much given up any chance of prolonged attack, which rules out sexual assault unless the guy's wearing a gasmask. They actually used to market a product that consisted of a glass vial of skunk spray which clipped to your underwear, so that if someone tried to tear them off the glass would break and release the stink, which was supposed to destroy a potential attacker's libido. Never seen any reports on whether it worked or not, but I can't imagine many people who'd be able to perform while coughing and tearing wildly from pepper spray exposure. In other words, there's almost no downside to carrying the spray, and even the worst case scenario has a large potential upside.

It could be worse, like the pink tampon stun gun

I was all set to get annoyed by the OP, but I actually agree with pretty much all of it. If you're going to fight, you have to try to maim and/or otherwise damage your attacker to the point that they are physically incapable of following you. That means breaking joints (knees being an obvious target), clawing the eyes, or crushing the throat. Or carrying a gun that is loaded, within easy reach, and easy to switch into a 'shoot' mode (Dox will know far more about this than I do ) and which you are absolutely willing to use against an attacker - even one that you know.

Mace and other pain techniques are good for briefly distracting an attacker - mace longer than a kick to the groin or other pain techniques because it lingers, but an opponent can still get over it (to the extent that they start trying to attack you again, anyway). Distraction is absolutely valid and good, however, in any kind of violent struggle. That is regardless of whether your preferred defense is to fight back or to run.

For women in general (I don't know if aspie women differ), the idea of being willing to maim another person, even an attacker, with one's bare hands is often the biggest obstacle to effective self-defense. This becomes exponentially harder when, as is usually the case, the attacker is someone that you know.

I have a black belt in aikido, and know a few decent joint locks and how to hit vulnerable spots in an untrained (as most of them are) attacker; that said, I've seriously considered getting some mace recently for the reasons above.

I've actually deliberately avoided pushing guns as an option in this thread, I've really tried to stay focused on debunking a few common mistakes and dispensing simple and practical knowledge from my own studies of applied violence. I personally feel that firearms are the absolute top of the food chain in a self defense scenario, but I know that a lot of women just don't consider guns an option for them personally for a variety of reasons. I don't usually recommend knives to women for similar reasons, just the thought of cutting someone open (even in self defense) is too much for many stomachs (male and female). and there really is nothing quite so dangerous to carry as a weapon you're unwilling to use. There's also the legal aspect, depending on what state or country you live in both knives and guns may be completely off the table unless you want to take a significant legal risk.

i'm a big fan of the well placed elbow myself but then i am certainly on the larger end of women and so that makes sense to me. regarding the op i really thought that a ball shot would take down those not wearing a cup not so much because i was taught to do so, but i'd had a few "accidents" over the years with male friends who went down like the titanic. i should probably get pepper spray as a just in case measure.

my primary means of self defense (other than avoiding danger) has been to carry myself like i am not worth the trouble of harassment when in sketchy environments. for example when i'm traveling in an unfamiliar place i never take out my map on the street. i stop at a coffee shop or a public indoor place. i still might get pegged as lost by a predator but not while i'm distracted and out in the open. also "taking up space" when i walk and making sure that i'm looking around at who's there. eye contact isn't necessary, but if i leave a shop or if i turn a corner after i get off the bus and someone turns after me, i make a point of looking over my shoulder to say "i see you and i'm aware of where you are." it won't stop someone who's determined but it may deter someone who doesn't want to work too hard.

Wouldn't the MMA guys be wearing cups, so it wouldn't hurt them as bad when they get hit there? It still might be effective to hit random attackers there.

Wouldn't an MMA fighter be wearing a cup, anyway? I'm not at all surprised he could shake off a nut shot; isn't that what a cup is for? That aside, I agree that a crotch shot is not the best form of self-defense; it's actually much harder to knee a guy in the junk than most women think. I always carry my keys between my fingers like a set of claws; if I were attacked I would go for the attacker's eyes. (Supposedly; not really sure I could bring myself to do that. Goes against my basic pacifist nature.)

There are lots of different self-defense scenarios for women to consider, but the most important defensive technique you can use is to be prepared and to avoid potential danger spots in the first place.

The element of surprise is the most effective "weapon" a sexual attacker has. All the pepper spray and other paraphernalia in the world won't help you if you are caught flat-footed from behind and you're thrown to the ground before you even realize what's happening, especially if there is more than one attacker.

What I have taught my daughters is to recognize dangerous situations and avoid them in the first place.

For that matter, it's not always cut-and-dried that something even is a self-defense situation until it happens.

Consider this scenario: you're parked with a guy in a secluded spot. You're making out with him a little. Let's say he's someone you've known for a while, and maybe you've even made out with him before. But let's suppose that tonight, for reasons only he knows, he decides that he wants more.

Suddenly he pushes you down in the car seat and tries to force your legs apart. You are faced with the sickening realization that this guy is determined to take you, by force if he has to, and any self-defense gear that you may have is out of reach.

When I was in college, I would have thought this scenario to be far-fetched. After all, I knew this guy. I was parked with him willingly. But it's not far-fetched. Date-rape is far more prevalent than generally thought, and a terribly under-reported crime.

Well, I put my knee into his groin as hard as I could, and somehow managed to get out of the car, but I was lucky. And the point is ... sometimes you don't know that you even need self-defense until it's almost too late.

good points.