Just found out my husband has Aspergers

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Well although I'd known him for 7 yrs before we married we had never lived together and he had also returned to his home country twice, once for a year and next for 2. He then asked me to marry him and that's when things started to change, up until then we had thought he was a bit quirky then after we married he seemed to get so frustrated with just about everything. He can be great at times, really considerate, but these times are far outweighed by the bad. When we visit his home country he seems to show less asperger attributes and from what I have read on the internet this could be because he is more relaxed and so doesn't have to think about controlling his 'moods' as much as when he is here feeling stressed. He also behaves more 'manly' when we are there as a pose to when he is here when he can behave in a childlike manner, something which I find very hard to relate to - is this something that others recognize?

All I can say after 35years of marriage is that my living with this type of person is lonely and devoid of normal affection not even hugs. I hear what you are saying. There are not always textbook solutions. I want a happy life that is not ruled by acts of service to make him happy. I don't choose divorce but I want to live apart. My husband is obsessed with farming. He can farm all he likes ... I don't care anymore because his obsession with his occupation has left me an emotional widow. Not all, I believe, can live with this kind of person. I just want to have the rest of my life as happy and normal as possible. I don't want to be his nature by default. He won't change. That's fine. Don't however, entomb me in his syndrome. I'm trying hard to bust out of his controlled world.