Pregnancy...and chaos

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Hi, I'm writing from Italy (so please forgive my mistakes), I'm 34 and I'm married, and my husband and I decided to have a baby, I'm in the 11th week and I'm very happy, really, but it is the second time I have a panic attack (since the pregnancy), and I'm so worried for future months, for the baby, etc. Is there anyone out there who's pregnant and wants to talk?
Thanks,
Mù

Hi Mu,
I'm in the U.S. in California. I'm not pregnant now, but I do have an 18 month old son. He is our first baby. I had plenty of anxiety myself when I was pregnant, worrying about all of the things that can go wrong. I also had gestational diabetes, which was very annoying, but I was able to control it with a strict diet.
Is there anything in particular that you are worrying about?

Hello! I'm 13 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Although I am only 20 and so is my boyfriend. I would love to talk.

I wish you so well!! ! I'm 34 and I'd really like to be very much younger, you sure 'll have much more energy for your kid!

you sure can understand me and YoshiPikachu, for what concerns me, the fact is that I learned to be calm even in stressful situation, but now I have to care for the baby too, I'm afraid, and last panick attack was terrible. My husband and I were at the doctor's for the baby and talking about future ecographies and blood test, my husband said we already had the reservation (in Italy it works this way), and my head started looping and thinking "1) I think we only have the telephone number to call to get the reservation. 2) maybe I've not understand what they are talking about", and since we agree that is not convenient to discuss in front of other people, so I didn't know what to say or do. I was so over my head..I know it seems so stupid...
ps I was right, we dind't have the reservation but only the number to call.

Everything just seems so crazy right now. I went to the OBGYN and that had to take blood and stuff, and they talk about getting testing done, which I don't think I want to do.

why don't you want to get the blood tests and "other stuff"?
What do you mean with other stuff?
So that I can understand and if you like we can talk.
Are you talking to someone about your pregnancy (parents, boyfriend, forums online)?

Hope you're doing well!

Mariloop

One of the really hard things about pregnancy is that everything is so out of your control. You mostly just have to wait for your body and the baby to do their thing. I was worried all the time that there might be something wrong with him, even though there was no indication of that.
It's ok to read baby books, but maybe don't read What to Expect When You're Expecting. It's too much for people like us- the information about the baby's growth and what he/she can do is really great, but there is a whole section on all the things that can go wrong, which I did NOT need to know about.
Also be careful about going on pregnancy forums. Reading about other people going through the same thing at the same time is really great, but a lot of peole go on those forums because they need extra support because they've had miscarriages and things in the past. It sometimes made me more stressed out instead of less.
Are you working or staying at home? Make sure you get exercise and get out of the house. Walking was really great for me and made me feel a lot better.

I'm very luck, for I'm a farmer and this is "low season" for us, so I can rest, but I also have a vegetable garden and a greenhouse so I can go outside sometimes during the day, and on the other hand I am in 12th week so I can still have my hour stepper in the morning, which helps me much.
The only problem actually is that is very difficult to sleep at night..I wake up at 2-3 am and til 5-6 am it is impossible to sleep again...

What is keeping you awake? Worry? Can you wake up your husband and tell him about it? My problem was that noises bothered me so much more when I was pregnant. Normally I can drown out my husband's snoring/breathing with a loud fan. But when I was pregnant, once I started waking up at night to pee, I could hear him breathing even with the fan on, and it drove me crazy! Sometimes I just slept in another room.

Sorry I have very bad grammar. Anyway, I am fine with blood tests it other tests that I don't want to do. Like there is some test where they give you a shot in the stomach. I talk to different people about being pregnant, my grandma, my boyfriend, and I do go on a pregnancy forum.

I am about 20 weeks along. I went through some serious bouts of depression and anxiety in the earlier stages of my pregnancy, but have been much better since then. Maybe just a bit irritable. I don't know if it's going to make my future baby a complicated teen, like I've read in some articles, but I'm trying my best to just take it easy. In the beginning, I was waking up early a lot too. It's creeping back and now I've resorted to taking afternoon naps, which I hate!

My NT sister is also expecting. I'd love to hear about pregnancy experiences from other aspie women.

I am 15 weeks pregnant today and I have to wait 5 more weeks before I have another Ultrasound. I had my first Ultrasound at 7 weeks and 3 days. That seems like a big gab. OK so the other day I got a call from my obgyn because they got my lab tests in. They told me that my syphilis came back with a false positive. So now I have to get more blood work done to find out why. It is freaking me out and I am scared to death.

When I was pregnant, I hardly experienced any symptoms. I had sore boobs off and on, I was more emotional and my anxiety increased so I was able to express my feelings better, my obsessions got less extreme so it was like they faded, I was more NT. I also made me more affectionate.

I didn't have any other symptoms I can think of. I just felt normal and my clothes fit me throughout my pregnancy. Only ones that didn't fit were my jeans and my shorts got short on me but I had long shirts that fit over my belly. I didn't even need to buy maternity clothes so I only had two pairs of maternity pants I got. But I only wore one pair because the other pair got too big on me because they kept falling down. My other pants still fit me because they were elastic in the waist and I wore them below my belly. But in my second trimester, it started to feel uncomfortable in my tummy when I sit so I had to lie back and my back would sometimes feel uncomfortable. Plus my legs would start to get sore when I be on my feet for too long. Plus my tummy would sometimes feel sore too like I had drank too much water and worked out. But I worked throughout my pregnancy despite the sore legs I'd get. None of it was bad for me. I worked through the discomforts and ignored it. But I was never that emotional like other women were and didn't act all bitchy and getting all offended. I was more sensitive but I didn't go acting irrational letting my emotions get in the way like all those women did at Babycenter. Plus I felt great about myself while they didn't and they all felt fat and hated how their clothes didn't fit while I didn't care. I felt fat at times too but I knew that was just my tummy and I am fine. Having growing belly doesn't make us fat when we are pregnant unless we get big all over instead of just our tummies.

But my first pregnancy was hell because I felt like garbage in the summer, my skin itched and my feet ached and felt bloated, I kept getting these spots on me that itched, I also get headaches when it be hot out, heat was just hard on me in the summer. But the second one I didn't feel that way. In fact I didn't feel bloated all that much, it only happened sometimes when I bloat and it be hot out. I would also feel crampy but if I drank enough water, I felt normal. I was tired a lot during the first trimester so I rested a lot and took naps. But my pee smelled different during both pregnancies.

Regarding the test "where you get a shot in the stomach"
I think what you may be refering to is the test where they take a smaple of the amniotic fluid to test for Down Syndrom and other genetic concerns. These tests are not very accurate - I have heard that they can be wrong up to 60% of the time, the test itself increases the risk for miscarriage almost as much as the risk for the disorders that it is testing for. When I was pregnant my partner and I asked ourselves - What would we do if the test was positive? - our answer was we would do our best and love him no matter what. In this context the test was then not worth the risks associated. We would not abort regardless - so we decided to wait and face what ever comes.

What ever your position on genetic screening, remeber that this is your body. They can recommend tests and such but it is always up to you. We on the Spectrum sometimes have other concerns that play into these decisions that may not be well understood - for example I know that my sensory issues would make such a test difficult and a voluntary abortion would be impossible. Of course this played into my decision - did the docs understand? of course not! did they respect it? Barely . . . but in the end they had to accept that what ever I decided was my choice.

There are so many pressures on women when pregnant - these people are there to offer advice - only advice. It is your body in the end and you are the one who is having that baby - not them. So always do what you know is right *for you*.

Ok, this is kind of off-topic but does anyone get annoyed when other women around you are discussing pregnancy, especially if you don't want to have children or can't get pregnant due to medical issues? I know I would feel like this if I were in this situation!