Ladies, Your First Time? (Virginity)

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All through middle school and high school I just didn't care about doing physical things with guys. In college I had a few live-in boyfriends, but oddly enough, I didn't sleep with any of them. I don't know why... I just didn't want to. Their mannerisms bothered me, or I didn't like their hygiene (or lack there of).

When I started dating my current boyfriend it was different though. Nothing about him bothers me. It's like magic! We've been dating two years now and all I can do is marvel at how much I just want to be around him all the time, and take care of him. I sleep so much better in his arms than I do alone.

He was my first. I was 25... it was this year actually.
It was FANTASTIC! two days later it had been fantastic 5 more times. lol!
I am a very lucky person.

It was with the boy I thought I really loved.

Physically it wasn't painful or anything.

He was really nasty and cold to me during the act and afterwards. I was heartbroken. I tried to have a relationship with him afterwards because I didn't want to feel like I'd thrown my virginity away (when I had, really). It was really turbulent. We fought all the time. When I was with him though, I felt sensations I've never felt since but it was emotionally very, very unhealthy. I can't put my finger on it, but my first bf and I had a very strong, animalistic attraction but we were really bad for each other. That emotional pain ruined the sex for me.

Sex didn't mess me up, he did. So don't let that put you off, or anything.

It was my wedding night, so I knew I just had to do it. It was pretty painful and I remember kept thinking "is it over yet"? It helps to be with a nice guy who's already my husband and knew all about me. It wasn't bad. Especially since I recovered very easily and there was no more pain the next day.

I'm not sure if being aspie have much to do with sex. I always got orgasm easily (starting from the second time) without much effort. Occasionally I'm too easily distracted and that slow things down. The only time I had trouble was when I was taking birth control pills (only did 3 months). I had no sex drive and was all dried up. Once I quit that there was no more sex trouble (um, other than having a couple of babies).

The only tip I can think of for aspies is to avoid distractions, turn off everything, lock the door, keep it semi dark and make sure you're comfortable and relaxed.

Hello CeciliaAnn

I lost my virginity with my boyfriend I think we did it after some mouths together when I first play with each other (sexually) then the next time meet we had a sex. It was ok but wasn't use to being torch on my body. I was 18 and I pretty much think he has Autism or Asperger. It was with a first serious boyfriend and long distant relationship (we didn't meet up much).

Just get him or her to warm you up (means you need to get arouse) so the sex is nicer and easyer to have something in you.
Sorry if some of that has already been said.
Hope that helps and hope it is going well for you

Quite painful at first, and when the pain faded, it was quite boring. The whole time I was thinking "is this it? When is it over?" But then, I'm asexual, so sex is not for me.

I was 19 - it was pretty much a non event with my first serious bf - it wasn't bad but it wasn't good either.

i see a few other people stated the words "intrusive" or "invasive" and that was how it felt. also panicky because it felt wrong. i kept doing it anyways in hopes it would get better, and eventually it did.

i was 16 years old. tried to get someone to do it before that but was unsuccessful as i was "jailbait". i had been dating that guy for maybe 2 or 3 weeks. i resented him afterward.

i love sex now, but it took a long time to really warm up.

That's like me. Even when it doesn't hurt it's just blah and boring.

I'm not sure if I'm completely asexual but I'm not comfortable with the looks of my body and I never want penetration again which would both be issues if I ever wanted a male partner. I think I'd be better off being a gay man and just get bjs. As a woman I can't help but think any straight male I could get involved with would at some point expect piv sex.

Well, it might be "intrusive" because you don't know the guys well. Once you're really in love with them it's quite different. For you asexual ladies, do you ever ... please yourself? If you can do it yourself then you're not asexual, just not having the right partner or not experienced enough to do it right. Give it more time and chance and it'll get better. I think with aspies, it's more important to be relaxed, rather than excited about it, since we naturally tend to be anxious and tense about body contacts.

I was 19. It was fun. I just wanted to do it and an opportunity presented itself, so I took it. Was chatting online with a guy from college I sort-of knew, and one thing led to another and he invited me to his dorm for the obvious reason. We hung out a bit, did it, and then I said, "I should probably get going." It wasn't amazingly pleasurable but I felt giddy the whole time and it did not hurt. I got an empowering high from it, and also learned how easy it is to get laid as a woman

When I debriefed my friend on the whole thing the next day, she said, "That's kinda slu*ty." Well, maybe so, but I've been a fan of sex ever since and I think it has a good deal to do with the fact that I orchestrated my first experience and took control of my sexuality.

And not to brag, but my current boyfriend and I have mindblowingly good sex When you do it with someone you care about and they care about you, and are intent on pleasing you, I don't think you can go wrong.

I was barely 14. My friends at the time where telling me about their experiences and I was too naive to realise that they where just bragging which is actually a form of lying. I foolishly tought that it would be a good idea to keep up with them and that I was mature enough to handle sexual encounters. It wasn't a good experience ofcourse, I was far too young and quite childish for my age. I can't blame anyone though, it was all my own doing. Things got better as I got older but I can easily live without sex. It's not something I desperately need.

Last edited by pokerface on 13 Dec 2011, 7:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't know because it will probably never happen to me.
I will probably die a virgin and never have a boyfriend.
This is very depressing.
What is the big deal about sex anyway?

my first time was kinda dull and boring(and the guy was hung) becasue it was a typical missionary poistion and the guy would not let me embrace him or do anything, so i just blanked out and forgot he was even there, and after it happend i was paranoid. The second time i had sex it was alright(guy had a small penis) and not as boring becasue we kept changing positions and i think i went a little fast for the guy and was paranoid after doing it. The reason why i get paranoid after having sex is becasue im wondering if the condom failed/expired, if im pregnat, or if i have some sort of disease. I think Vaginal penetration is ok, but im more into other things that are still sex, but no vaginal penetration such as dry humping or just heavily making out and I will admit that I like giving blowjobs.

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Last edited by artrat on 13 Dec 2011, 1:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

My first was kinda painful and invasive like others have said though not really rape since I already consented to doing it. It hurt badly to the point where I had to ask to stop several times before he listened. I think though alot of my feelings of invasiveness were mental. Long story short we were in a "supervised relationship" because we were caught by his parents doing something bad before. Trying to do it in his car infront in my front driveway without my parents knowing because no one trusted us to be alone together is not a very comfortable thing and can really add to the stress.

I'm 18 and still a virgin and I'm fine with that. I like to take it slow and I don't really feel comfortable having sex with someone who I don't feel like I know enough or is committed to me. I'll probably just do it the old fashioned way and saving myself until marriage.