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Ai_Ling
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24 Oct 2011, 4:47 pm

As we all know, female aspies are a lot harder to detect because they assimilate with the NT population a lot easier. And aspergers has a male bias so we often don't think girls have aspergers syndrome. I've had very little experience with other female aspies.

What do you think are things to look for when trying to spot out a female aspie? I thought of a few:

1) She may have a flatter voice then most NT females
2) She makes eye contact appropriately but her eye contact is rather dead.
3) When interacting with people she makes appropriate non-verbals but when shes not, her face may look a bit dead.
4) She may say or do small things that are still a little off.

Any other ideas?

I'm persuaded that the secretary at the doctors office is aspie. Her voice is flatter then most NT women, especially for a secretary(most secretary put on a very well-skilled friendly act), her eye contact is rather dead, when I approached her she seemed a little lost with her job, she gave me a red pen to fill out doc forms, she called me this morning to reschedule my app and her speech was awkwardly phrased her words like she didn't automatically know how to smoothly ask me on the spot.



Sowlowsolo
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25 Oct 2011, 4:12 pm

Tell her to do something followed by something else and then a third thing - she'll come back to you and ask what the third think was if she's anything like me :)



amberzak
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25 Oct 2011, 5:18 pm

inability to multitask
Poor memory of vocal instructions (or is that just me)
Anxiety in unfamiliar territory
Dislike of change - female copes better then males, and the signs aren't as obvious, but an aspie girl will become uncomfortable with unexpected change.
Still have obsessions, but tend to be more mainstream, so accepted by society more.
Often misdiagnosed as manic-depressive first (I was diagnosed as that when I was 7)
Prone to meltdowns and tears over things considered small to NTs.
Can't contain happiness, so tend to jump up and down, giggle and other 'childish' displays when excited.
Strong moral compass and hates injustice.
Social interaction are 'performed'. Aspie girls can appear more apt at social actions, but is overwhelmed by too many people or small talk.

There is a really good article here:
http://www.byparents-forparents.com/asp ... girls.html


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Ai_Ling
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25 Oct 2011, 7:57 pm

I was looking more for superficial things on the surface to look for when just meeting a female aspie. Its kinda like you would suspect she was aspie after a few encounters with her.

Quote:
Tell her to do something followed by something else and then a third thing - she'll come back to you and ask what the third think was if she's anything like me Smile


Tell her so many things that it'll throw her off...kinda funny but I don't want to deliberately mess with her head. Cause if she is in fact aspie, her job is likely already difficult to being with. Makes me wonder how she got it?



amberzak
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26 Oct 2011, 4:27 am

Does she seem to get stressed and anxious when she is outside her comfort zone, or overwhelmed? Anxiety is a large factor in women with aspergers. Also, as I said before, they are emotional and are prone to crying or showing some other sign of 'meltdown' over things that others would see as trivial and small.


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Hella
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26 Oct 2011, 11:38 am

amberzak wrote:
inability to multitask
Poor memory of vocal instructions (or is that just me)
Anxiety in unfamiliar territory
Dislike of change - female copes better then males, and the signs aren't as obvious, but an aspie girl will become uncomfortable with unexpected change.
Still have obsessions, but tend to be more mainstream, so accepted by society more.
Often misdiagnosed as manic-depressive first (I was diagnosed as that when I was 7)
Prone to meltdowns and tears over things considered small to NTs.
Can't contain happiness, so tend to jump up and down, giggle and other 'childish' displays when excited.
Strong moral compass and hates injustice.
Social interaction are 'performed'. Aspie girls can appear more apt at social actions, but is overwhelmed by too many people or small talk.


I agree with all of these! Every single one of them fits me, exactly. (Except I was diagnosed as 'clinically depressive'.)


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smudge
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26 Oct 2011, 12:46 pm

Very hard, unless they have learning difficulties. Even then, it's hard to tell. I mean, some are in your face and needy - but some women are like that anyway. I think the quiet ones stand out more.



LunaUlysses
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26 Oct 2011, 2:51 pm

How I find a fellow Aspie? Usually they're a little more quiet and on their own at first, but if you talk to them and find their likes, I find a lot of times they'll have the same interests in me such as MMORPGS, drawing, music, video games, anime, etc. How I approached one girl who I look back and am 100 percent sure is an Aspy, is she'd brought a nintendo ds and was playing it in class. Most NT girls aren't into video games like mmorpgs, rpg games, etc. etc. Especially ROle Playing games. They're a bit quiet at first, but once you talk a bit more with them, you open up and find you have simliar likes and dislikes, and your think similarly, which makes it easier to click.
I had a couple girls like that in Highschool. We'd talk in highschool, and we hung out a couple times, bu tonly a couple times because we're more wired to want to spend more time alone, and we don't think about calling and setting up times to hang out and what up since we get wrapped up in our games, and life.



Hella
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26 Oct 2011, 2:53 pm

LunaUlysses wrote:
...such as MMORPGS, drawing, music, video games, anime, etc. ...

I'm a huge geek for MMORPGing, music, video games and anime. I thought that was just part of my geekiness. :lol:


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LunaUlysses
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26 Oct 2011, 2:58 pm

Hella wrote:
LunaUlysses wrote:
...such as MMORPGS, drawing, music, video games, anime, etc. ...

I'm a huge geek for MMORPGing, music, video games and anime. I thought that was just part of my geekiness. :lol:


I've found that people with asperghers are often fans of things like mmorpgs, anime, computer games, etc. Aspergers people are generally what people consider the 'geeks'. Smart as hell, a little different/off socially, like games like MMORPGS and the lastest technilogical things. In fact, it's these 'geeks' aspergers persons that have come up with the computer and the advances in technology we do have!



Hella
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26 Oct 2011, 3:03 pm

LunaUlysses wrote:
I've found that people with asperghers are often fans of things like mmorpgs, anime, computer games, etc. Aspergers people are generally what people consider the 'geeks'. Smart as hell, a little different/off socially, like games like MMORPGS and the lastest technilogical things. In fact, it's these 'geeks' aspergers persons that have come up with the computer and the advances in technology we do have!

Sweet! I recall very clearly a moment when I was very deeply into playing Perfect World and some friends had all gathered for a gaming session that my husband ran weekly. I couldn't/didn't want to stop playing, insisting I could participate in the gaming (which was less interesting than playing my MMO). Everyone was more than a little frustrated with me and I didn't understand why. I don't care what someone else does when they're visiting someone--not everyone has to be looking at each other all the time!


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Tuttle
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26 Oct 2011, 3:34 pm

LunaUlysses wrote:
Most NT girls aren't into video games like mmorpgs, rpg games, etc. etc. Especially ROle Playing games. They're a bit quiet at first, but once you talk a bit more with them, you open up and find you have simliar likes and dislikes, and your think similarly, which makes it easier to click.


I've however, still met more NT girls who are into those sorts of things than Aspie girls. The fact that they're a minority in the "NT-world" doesn't mean they don't exist there. They just tend to congrigate too. Geek does not mean aspie. Not all geeks are aspies and not all aspies are geeks. However, geeks are much more likely BAP than non-geeks and are much more aspie-friendly (in my experience). Most geeks however, still know how to read people intuitively and don't have the challenges we have. They just have preferences that fit more in tune with many aspies than the stereotypical sorority girl who cares only about boys and shopping.



Rubydoobs
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27 Oct 2011, 7:59 am

Hella wrote:
amberzak wrote:
inability to multitask
Poor memory of vocal instructions (or is that just me)
Anxiety in unfamiliar territory
Dislike of change - female copes better then males, and the signs aren't as obvious, but an aspie girl will become uncomfortable with unexpected change.
Still have obsessions, but tend to be more mainstream, so accepted by society more.
Often misdiagnosed as manic-depressive first (I was diagnosed as that when I was 7)
Prone to meltdowns and tears over things considered small to NTs.
Can't contain happiness, so tend to jump up and down, giggle and other 'childish' displays when excited.
Strong moral compass and hates injustice.
Social interaction are 'performed'. Aspie girls can appear more apt at social actions, but is overwhelmed by too many people or small talk.


I agree with all of these! Every single one of them fits me, exactly. (Except I was diagnosed as 'clinically depressive'.)


Me too. I hate being given verbal instructions.

Mum: "Here is what to do" Starts to give me long list of instructions
Me: "I'll forget. Write it down."
Mum: "But it's easy, just listen."
Me: "No, please, write it down"
Mum: "But if you'd just listen."
Me: "I don't want to listen. WRITE IT DOWN' Please."
Mum: "OK" Grumbles off to get paper.


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smudge
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27 Oct 2011, 8:06 am

I hate being given a verbal list of instructions too. I forget them all.



myth
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27 Oct 2011, 8:11 am

I don't understand what "dead eye contact" means :? how does one go about deciding whether eye contact is alive or dead?


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Hella
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27 Oct 2011, 9:07 am

myth wrote:
I don't understand what "dead eye contact" means :? how does one go about deciding whether eye contact is alive or dead?

I think it means that the eye contact is, maybe, 'awkward-seeming'? Maybe even too 'intense,' since it's not natural for most Aspies to feel comfortable with making eye contact--especially prolonged eye contact. This is a guess!


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