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fragaria
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27 Oct 2011, 11:24 am

I vividly remember one incident in grade school where my mom (who was a teacher at my school) came to me and said that this new girl who I had had absolutely no interaction with went home crying that day because I didn't like her. ???[/quote]

Yes, from time to time I have to hear from someone else that there are certain people who think I dislike them and I don't know why.



Mego
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28 Oct 2011, 3:53 am

This makes me feel better because I always get this "so and so thinks you don't like him/her". One of my good friends even remarked that I need to practice my "default" face in front of the mirror because she notices how people respond to me in a negative way (I had no clue). Nowadays she sticks up for me and just says that I am thinking or preoccupied and it has nothing to do with the person. Oh, and apparently it sometimes translates to me being a snob. :?



TheTigress
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03 Nov 2011, 1:07 am

I work at Subway (word of advice, never work there) and I get this all the time. For one thing I don't smile on command, and when I am focusing or concentrating on something my face tends to look angry. I've even had random people come up to me and ask me if I'm OK. I also don't take kindly to people who try to make me smile on command. I feel like some caged animal being forced to do tricks on command or something and I flat out tell them I won't do it. Unless I have a reason to genuinely smile this is what you get, take it or leave it.



hartzofspace
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03 Nov 2011, 12:17 pm

TheTigress wrote:
I work at Subway (word of advice, never work there) and I get this all the time. For one thing I don't smile on command, and when I am focusing or concentrating on something my face tends to look angry. I've even had random people come up to me and ask me if I'm OK. I also don't take kindly to people who try to make me smile on command. I feel like some caged animal being forced to do tricks on command or something and I flat out tell them I won't do it. Unless I have a reason to genuinely smile this is what you get, take it or leave it.

Smile on command. I like that way of putting it! That is exactly what if feels like. We can also respond: "Alright. And after I smile, should I roll over and play dead?" :twisted:


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Kiseki
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06 Nov 2011, 4:48 am

When I was doing training for my current job, one of the trainers told me "You have negative body language." I actually told him off. I probably shouldn't have done that.

He thought I was being bitchy. I wasn't. I was just very uncomfortable in my work clothes and didn't know what to do with my arms, so I just crossed them over my chest the whole time.


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kotshka
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06 Nov 2011, 8:13 am

I always get told I look sad when I'm not, which makes me feel bad... I wrote a comic about it a couple of years ago: http://asimplelife.thecomicseries.com/comics/44/



hartzofspace
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06 Nov 2011, 12:27 pm

kotshka wrote:
I always get told I look sad when I'm not, which makes me feel bad... I wrote a comic about it a couple of years ago: http://asimplelife.thecomicseries.com/comics/44/

I loved that comic! It illustrates it perfectly!


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kotshka
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07 Nov 2011, 9:30 am

Thanks. :) I need to get back into the habit of drawing comics. Sometimes it's easier to express something in this form than just verbally!



jennm
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07 Nov 2011, 6:35 pm

I get this too. People think I look too serious. I just look like that. I'm usually thinking or being creative in my head and don't have any desire to spend any mental effort on making my face look a certain way so that others can be more comfortable.



Darshan
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08 Nov 2011, 1:28 am

I've been asked many times if I'm o.k. or "whats wrong?" when I was really very happy at the time. My ex-husband used to always tell me to "smile on the outside" because he couldn't always tell when I was happy. Just one of my many aspie traits he had little patience with.



hartzofspace
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08 Nov 2011, 11:48 am

I often think that this constant criticism of our facial expressions are a lot like meeting someone from a foreign country and then getting annoyed with them because they can't speak English. We don't communicate with our faces, so thence the misunderstandings. Plus, if a smile is so welcome when there is absolutely no reason for it, why was I constantly being told to "wipe that smirk off my face?" :roll:


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tmurphy2006
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15 Nov 2011, 1:31 am

TheTigress wrote:
I work at Subway (word of advice, never work there) and I get this all the time. For one thing I don't smile on command, and when I am focusing or concentrating on something my face tends to look angry. I've even had random people come up to me and ask me if I'm OK. I also don't take kindly to people who try to make me smile on command. I feel like some caged animal being forced to do tricks on command or something and I flat out tell them I won't do it. Unless I have a reason to genuinely smile this is what you get, take it or leave it.


I worked at EPCOT in Walt Disney World for seven months and was always commented upon about my lack of smiling. When I accepted to do the Disney College Program, the thought of getting paid to smile never occurred to me, but that was essentially my job.



psayles56
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21 Nov 2011, 6:27 pm

fragaria wrote:
People always assume that I'm angry but I'm not and it makes me sad.
How can I learn to make a normal, happy face? I cannot wear sunglasses all the time.


people think I look mean all the time.
I have problems. I make a lot of weird faces.



amusedviews
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25 Nov 2011, 4:47 am

If you do not want to look mad for you and not to please others (even though that is part of the point I guess) you could try looking at your face in the mirror when it is at the relaxed stage. I look quite moody and unhappy since my mouth seems to curl down slighty and my brow is lower giving me the unhappy look. I sometimes police my face and make minor changes like lifting the brow or smiling slightly. I don't prefer to look unhappy but it happens so I just learned to make slight changes and mainly just live with it and just be honest about it being my natural expression.



vickypollard
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28 Nov 2011, 4:08 pm

I have chronic bitchface, it's terribly annoying. I've also learned I tend to look extremely bored when I'm actually interested-- it's worse than the angry face because people don't want to continue talking to me because they think I'm arrogant.



FaeryEthereal
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28 Nov 2011, 9:46 pm

Oh geeezzz, I get this ALL THE TIME!! ! Constantly asked what is wrong, that I look angry/morose/miserable/hostile. When I'm actually not feeling that way at all!