Can Aspies be good at "faking" it?

Post Reply New Topic

I seem to have learned to give people what I think they want - meaning I seem to say the right things, even though the feelings I project don't match the words.

So can Aspies fake things? Am I just reciting a script I've learned?

Of course we can fake it, it's required of us every single day (depending on your personal circumstances). The mountain will never come to Mohammed, we always have to go to the mountain. It's just the way it is.

We can become adept at reading people and giving them what they want. Female aspies even more so, in theory.

I think there's some potential in the idea of engagement, not conformity.

For example, when I used to live in big apartment complexes. Very few people know their neighbors, whether aspie or neurotypical. I hit upon the theory that people don't want to risk getting bogged down. So, my experimental method was to just keep walking. I can have a brief friendly conversation. Just keep walking. It's a light little conversation. I even had the mental image that I was kind of like a mayor, so I'm a builder, it's a low-key friendly conversation, just I'm a busy guy.

I'm too good at faking it now. I'm at the point where I'm becoming fake. Of course, it's not that difficult to switch back, since I know that I'm faking it, and how can I not? It took me 23 years to be able to fake it. One does not forget that in a nanosecond. I have to remind myself which people to fake it around and which people to not fake it around. It can be exhausting, especially since I'm trying to do it and it's not internalized.

What I should be doing is what Aardvark said, and that's engaging people. Faking breeds faking, and life is not a 24 hour conversation. Most of communication is knowing when not to speak or what not to say, and engaging people, not conversation, is far more effective because everyone is different.

To be real or not to be real - that is the question!
I find that i need to fake sometimes such as at work around certain people, not sure if i would consider it fake - its more a dialling down of my sometimes over the top personality so that i fit in more and don't draw unneccesary attention to myself - also so that I am more professional and can keep my job.
Not being brutally honest all the time is a good idea at work also, however i don't like lying either so working on tact is something that i have been toying with.

However in my personal life with family and friends I try to be as authentic as possible. No matter whether its appreciated or not.

I struggled for years with this stuff finding myself faking it all the time and loosing myself in the process.
When i was a kid to early 20's I was hell bent on being authentically me all the time - and it didn't go down very well at all.
So now i am trying to strike a balance between both that works for me, rather than cutting my nose off to spite my face.

I prefer people being totally honest and authentically themselves its so refreshing - but it is unfortunately not valued that highly in our social society.

I can fake it, but after a while I seem to lose myself in the whole thing. Then I need recovery time.

Here is my question have you ever found yourself in a situation where you were faking it? Physically or mentally?

I found that hanging around a good friend of mine, I become highly sexual and this has put me into sexual situation that I could not back up, leaving me to question who I really am.

I can fake it like a pro, I'm faking it right now. I am so good that I expect an Oscar any minute now. Sadly, 8-10 hours of fakeness is all I can do in one stint. But liquor helps.

Nice one Ynnep !

I never think of it as being fake or faking it, though it could definitely fall under that definition. Rather, to me, it's a necessity to my survival in the kind of society I live in. Sometimes I have bursts of hating it but most of the time, just going along with the flow and trying to keep myself from getting too involved in matters that will drain me dry keeps me afloat. On the other hand, with my friends and closest family, I don't hold back and I genuinely enjoy interaction with them because they accept me and don't mind me being who I am. It's invigorating, and it's a balance act – I live on my own and have to make independent decisions, so I have to push myself sometimes, have to argue and make deals with my inner petulant rebellion at "conforming". And sometimes I allow myself the weekend to just be who I am, and that helps in the balance.

Oh yes! I'm quite good (sometimes...)

Just because this crap doesn't come naturally to us doesn't mean we can't learn. I've spent so long memorizing body language dictionaries that I'm better at reading people than most NTs, simply because I don't just "understand" I can analyze. Now, I'm still awkward as can be, but at least I'm not as bad as I was when I was a teenager.

I fake it every single day. More than one MFT therapist has told me to "fake it til you make it" or "smile like you're at a party" when in public. Weird that they're selling out what it means to be emotionally authentic. I find myself putting on a happy face a lot more when I'm feeling like crap. I guess I think it's the answer to my loneliness like some people think of weight loss as the way to a better life. I know both are false.

When I first read the topic of this comment thread, I thought you were asking are you good at faking it in bed. I don't do that with my boyfriend because I don't think you have to orgasm with penetrating sex in order to be a woman. But, I admit I have faked it once or twice in my life just to get it over with in relationships that didn't last.

People who aren't aspies fake their emotions every day, so why shouldn't we? Almost everyone lies or pretends to be something they are not on a daily basis. I have found it is necessary to fake stuff when it is important, and I can, but around people I know, I just be myself for the most part. I'm sure they would prefer if I faked it, but I don't know, I just don't care, I guess....
replica watches replica watch replica watches replica watch swiss watch replicas

You learn behaviour through life and learn to fake it.

Fake it till you make it.... kinda of words to live by.

I have managed to fake it pretty well. I rarely find myself feeling genuine about my emotional state but, I know what I have to do in order to survive.