wedding planning and obsessing over imperfections

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Is it just me?

I am obsessing over the tiniest little details. No matter how many times other people tell me it's not a big deal, no matter how much I don't WANT it to be a big deal, no matter how small it is... I cannot stop obsessing about these things!!

Prime example: The left and right margins of the outer envelopes for the invitations are asymmetrical. By like 3/16 of an inch.

Actually, everything about the invitations has been a focus of obsession for me. I feel guilty because people have tried to help me but I can't make use of some of the things other people have contributed to (slightly crooked stamping alignment, creases not folded just so)... I'm not trying to be this way, and I really am appreciative of all the help people have given...I want to be able to say it's fine, but it's not fine!

Anyone else experience this with wedding planning, or any other major event? Like, I'm not worried about the ceremony at ALL but I have been trying to get my margins symmetrical for the last three hours.

How do you learn to let the little things go? How do you get to the point where you know something is "done enough"? Are there actually varying degrees of acceptable quality? Am I the only one that feels this way? Am I asking too many questions?

Anecdotes/Advice/Amusements/Analyses Appreciated!

There are no perfect people and never will be. There are also no perfect things and no perfect situations, and never will be. Stop stressing out yourself and those around you. You have turned into bridezilla over unimportant trivia! No one is going to notice minor imperfections or remember them a couple of days after the wedding. They will however, remember your behavior. Do you want them to remember you as bridezilla, or as someone who kept their cool and a common sense perspective on wedding issues.

For your sake, and the sake of those around you, CUT IT OUT! JUST LET THE TRIVIA GO!

I also hope you are not sticking your folks with a whopping wedding bill. There is no reason on Earth why a non royal wedding needs to be thousands, or worse, tens of thousands of dollars. Just buy a nice reusable dress off the rack or a nice used bridal gown. Get married at home, or in church, or at the Justice of the Peace's office or in some other reasonably priced venue. Keep the food costs down by not having expensive foods, just have plenty of good food, and make it look expensive by having some nice home made table decorations, and some nice flowers. And so on, and so on. Take pride in being an economically savvy bride, not a wallet buster bride.

And remember, NO MORE BRIDEZILLA!

Ah, I appreciate your sentiment, but I have to say I am in no way, shape, or form a "bridezilla".

I am paying for most of the wedding expenses myself. My parents graciously purchased the dress and have contributed a small but very workable fund to the wedding budget. The rest of the wedding is being taken care of either through having friends fill roles like photographer, caterer, cakebaker, etc., or the bargain-hunted items that my fiance and I have been able to find and spend a little of our own "play money" on.

I guess I should be used to being misunderstood! Maybe I wasn't clear about how this is affecting me vs. how it's affecting other people... Was really just curious if I was the only one that can't seem to rest unless something *I* am working on turns out perfectly. I don't expect perfection from other people.

Sorry I'm getting defensive, it's just.. it's not a big wedding at all, we're not spending a lot of money, I am truly grateful and appreciative for everything that others have done to help us get together, and I'm really really really really not a bridezilla. I mean, the reason I have asymmetrical margins to begin with is that I printed them out myself because it was the cheapest option that was also the least imposing on others involved in the planning process..

I just can't seem to shake an extreme urge to get my margins symmetrical down to the millimeter, and was wondering about others' experiences with perfectionism and HOW to let those things go.

I don't think you are a bridezilla. It sounds like you are very anxious at the moment. I have found cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) very useful for my anxiety and depression (I am bipolar).

As an example:

You have an underlying perfectionist assumption "The invitations MUST be perfect, or everything is terrible".

You challenge that assumption and replace it with a more useful thought
"I would prefer it if the invitations are perfect, but it's okay if the margins are a little out. The wedding will still go on."

It's that simple! But it takes some practice.

Best wishes for your wedding.

Quick! Run away to Vegas and hit the courthouse!

It was a lot easier. And a free roller coaster ride from the MGM!

[quote="Sarah81"

You have an underlying perfectionist assumption "The invitations MUST be perfect, or everything is terrible".

You challenge that assumption and replace it with a more useful thought
"I would prefer it if the invitations are perfect, but it's okay if the margins are a little out. The wedding will still go on."[/quote]

Yes.. I think you're right. I haven't been re-framing things as much as I should...

Thanks for the reminder. :)

Wedding season has arrived for this year, and that means a lot of people are likely to be scrambling for cash. The wedding couple will be looking for down payments on different things so they do not lose their spot while suppliers need cash to pay for the items they are offering until the paycheck comes in after the wedding. Regardless of what end you are on, a payday loan will help you pay for things. It can also help the couples attempting to put deposits down so they do not lose their spot. Everybody needs money to get a wedding ready.