Can't connect with other women.

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I have such a hard time connecting and understanding women. I have always got along more easily with men and I think part of it comes with the fact that women often times mean things other than what they say and all of that doublespeak gets really confusing. Friendships with males have always been easier for me to maintain. You kind of know where you stand with guys. With girls, I have no idea if they're lying or saying things and meaning something else. It's so much more work to talk to most women for me.

I often feel this way too. It could be because of my 3 brothers.

Yes, I think many Aspie women are more "male brained" and NT women don't understand. If I were meeting them and had a male body, they would be thinking it's all because I'm a guy. They would think my Aspie traits were pretty normal for a geeky guy. But since I am female it's strange that I don't do all those normal social things. I have heard that people think I am purposely being a snob toward them, because I don't talk much and respond in a normal way. A male might not care as much or notice as much. I know some men think I am acting strange too. The females think I am capable of all the girly social abilities, but I'm choosing to hold back with them and not say much.

Also I don't have some of the common female interests. I can't talk about kids, makeup, shopping, cooking, crafts, hot celebrity guys, decorating, etc.

I am feminine in some ways.

I also have a hesitancy with woman because of how my mother treated me and how a female friend treated me. I believe the few women I connected to were "geeks" who were not exactly NT. However, more NT than me.

IMO attractiveness is an issue. Any attractive woman is treated worse by less attractive women. I was told this is true by many men. They can see it happening all the time. They can't help it. It is an instinct because women treat other women as competition for men. Even if they are married I believe this is true, especially in the workplace. I don't know if it's true, but IIRC I read Aspies are better than average looking as a whole. So this also prevents women from wanting to like us.

I find it pretty hard to connect to either gender. I like to look at makeup tutorials on youtube, but that's about as feminine as I get and I don't enjoy discussing relationship drama or gossip or celebrities or other stuff that girls my age are interested in. I can't connect with boys my age either because they tend to either be really interested in sports (which I find incredibly boring), or they're into things like maths, computer programming and engineering which I don't understand well enough to hold a conversation about.

I'm not sure if my inability to connect with many people is more to do with age, gender, the fact that I have quite limited interests or the fact that they're usually neurotypical and I'm not. Overall I do find women much harder to maintain friendships with though because they tend to judge me quite harshly when they find out I don't have many typically feminine interests.

I find it hard to connect with either too. I could have been born with it. I think it is from prolonged mistreatment and inconsistent care. I get these limited connections and unbalanced connections.

With some men I could have a conversation. Men I converse better with have some AS themselves. They have a milder case than me because of learning strategies as they grew up. I was not developing strategies and hiding away. I am certain I do better with AS women than NT women. I think there are all shades of grey and you could have a mostly-NT who has a touch of AS traits, or they could have more and more AS.

All of my lady friends are fellow unique people. I can't relate at all to girly girls who only wanna discuss fashion and boys. It helps that I am gay. I think lesbians are easier to relate to than the majority of straight women.

SilkySifaka; "But I love him!" That usually just annoys me, especially since nine tmes out of ten the man does not love the girl back. I wouldn't waste my time that way on someone who is only using me. But it is not appropriate to state that oppinion to a weeping woman who is surrounded by other women who are comiserating with her.
Kinme; Yep. goin up with only guys can do that. But at least you can wrestle with them.
Lytig; Sometimes I wonder if the majority of other women are born with some secret code that is not programmed into my DNA. Its like trying read mirror writing without the mirror.
nikkiDT; Three brothers? I got you beat, I have four
Kjas; Romantic comedies are torture. A man must really love woman in order to sit through one of those with a woman. I love action. The Die Hard series grossed me out, but that was better than No Resevrations. I had to sit through that with my mom and sister and, Oh God, I hated it. I think my favorite drama yet is The Kings Speech. I loved that. And Goth, too.
dreamy; Male Brained? I think thats a good way to put it. I certainly am not very Female Minded. My entire universe does not go out of whack because I run out of concealer. A lot of people accuse me of being a snob too and I don't even know why . Men seem to like how open and unflirtatious I can be when I talk to them. But friendships with guys never last very long for me. I also do not want to talk for hours about makeup, the best place to buy shoes, ect. But I can talk about kids, since I practically helped raise my five younger siblings. And this makes older women insecure in my presence because I know how to distracted a child from a skinned knee and deal with instead of rushing into the ER. I don't consider myself to be very attractive, but my double d's have caused jealousy more than once.
Sqirsh; Either gender. That's tough. I look at makeup tutuorials too, but mostly I get bored after the first two minutes and go to look at Parkour. I don't like talking about celebrities either, mostly because I only care about the characters they play and not the actors themselves. I don't do sports, games or computers either. I like literature.
Kiseki; I'm so envious! I want female friends too. Oh well.

I have mostly male friends. Most girls I know crave attention too much, and always wanna talk about feelings, which I'm kinda not into.
I wear make up, but nothing animal tested so I tend to stick to what I trust, and see no need to chat about it. I'm interested in clothes, but only in the same way I'm interested in art or anything else aesthetically enjoyable. Don't care about fashion..
I read somewhere that men bond over interests, whereas women bond over emotions. Maybe that has something to do with it?

I have never fit in with NT females. I have tried desperately to fit in, but NT women have a kind of "radar" that can detect females who are different from the crowd...aspies...autistic...
I have always found it easier and more pleasant to make friends with males. Even as a little girl (6 years old), I was the only girl at an all-boy birthday party! Men (whether aspies or NT, both) are much more accepting of unique/unusual women than NT women are. Boys, also, are apparently more accepting of little girls who are "different" than NT girls.

I don't watch all the culturally girlie TV shows (The Kardashians, Jersey Shore, etc.); I don't read novels (I read educational and informative books and biographies); I don't hang out in groups and gossip; I don't get absolutely caught up in all the verrrrrrry latest in fashion and makeup trends, etc.
But I am feminine. I like dressing like a feminine woman. I love wearing perfume. I love kids, animals. growing roses and flowers in the garden. But I never mastered the art of successfully mimicing NT behavior so as to be accepted fully as "one of them".

I haven't had a female friend since college, I graduated in 2000. Even her, really, we weren't besties. Just friends. Also, we were very similar. Both INTJ and I suspect she may also have AS. Anyway I didn't keep in touch really, I don't do that with anyone. What is the point.

I've worked in the same place for 7 years now and I have zero female friends. I have one male friend. His wife tolerates me.

I just don't give a hoot about the same stuff. Unless it's vera bradley. I dunno wtf up with vera bradley but I am obsessed with it. I can't stay away from the gd website. If I had money, pretty sure my house would be full of vera bradley.

Anyway I think even the fact that I like vera so much is off putting to some women. I dress like a boy, even at work I wear a t shirt and jeans. I an get away with it because the guys all do. The girls dont, but w/e. I wear comfy shoes. I have worn heels once in my life. No make up unless its a wedding. I'm considerring coloring my hair because I seem to be going prematurely grey. I'm not vain, but I'm also only 34. I tried to pick a color close to my original, nothing fancy.

Yeah I'm the same, don't really connect with other women. All my friends growing up were male, and then into junior and secondary school I did speak to females, but they weren't my friends.