This would explain a lot

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Hi,
I've decided to come here to kinda find other women who have gone through what I have. I haven't been diagnosed with asperger's but I have a strong suspicion that I have it.
A little background to what led me to come here:
I'm in a long term committed relationship with a man who has AS. It's been a struggle, and not at all a quiet relationship, but we love each other deeply. We have a baby together and that has actually made us look at our relationship even more. I'm 30.
A recent argument led me to seek out a therapist since I have self-destruction and communication issues in relationships, and I was reading an article my fiancé was reading last night and had left in the browser. Something clicked, not sure why because I've read a lot of stuff on male aspergers before, but I suddenly thought about my high sensitivity to noise and shouting. I can't handle it, it aggravates me. Loud tv volume, someone shouting at me shuts me down, and since I was a kid I could never tolerate loud bangs like fireworks. I often go into mute mode when in a heated argument because my brain shuts down. I've always been described by my parents as "passionate" both in my relationships and interests. I was obsessed with astrology and tarot when I was 10 which later led to a strong interest in numerology and other cultures.
I was an extremely shy child, to the point where saying hello to guests at the house was impossible. My mum always made excuses for me, and she always thought it was her fault I was so introverted. I have since become more sociable and open through becoming a professional belly dancer. I'm still shy but I'm not frozen by it anymore. Teachers saw I was different and didn't like me because of it, other kids didn't like me and I always only had one true friend. It's not much different now. My close friends I speak to mostly on Facebook or on the phone but hardly every see them face to face. I'm okay with that but I know some people take offense to it. I was always a good artist, even as a child, which has gone from drawing and painting to making clothes. I can take a piece of cloth and make it into anything I want it to be without the use of a pattern. Some people are mystified by it, I just think it's because they don't teach it in schools anymore since I don't see it as something complicated.
I can focus on something for a long time, get passionate about a subject and spend hours reading about it. Buying something online is not a small task. I spend hours researching best prices, quality etc... I dedicate a lot of time to hobbies and things I like, and then housework, laundry, cooking doesn't get done. Personally I hate doing it because it seems like a waste of time but I do like a clean home. Just like eating is a waste of time to me since I always have so much to do.
When I fall in love, it's deep and powerful, obsessive almost. I won't respect a man's boundaries which has often made me look needy or selfish. I like sex a lot because it feels good and I think it becomes a turn off for a lot of men who think they can't keep up.
I know I'm quirky with weird and often contradicting patterns of thinking or actions but I can always explain them even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else.
So this is why I think I may have AS. I know it's harder for women to get a diagnosis since most research is focused on men. I don't know any other women who might or do have it which kinda makes me feel lonely. My grandmother probably had it from what I've heard about her behavior and my mum is a little OCD. Can anyone recommend sites or books? I know it would also help my fiancé a lot if we knew for sure if I had AS.

Have you tried any of the online tests available? That could be a helpful starting point, especially if you are considering seeking a formal diagnosis.

There's a great thread in the General Autism Discussion forum about scientific tests for autism/asperger's. If you find that your scores indicate that you may be an aspie, then that at least confirms what you already suspect.

You'll find there are lots of female aspies here on WP - some diagnosed, some not. So please don't feel alone

Be sure and look at female traits and descriptions. If you don't fit the common descriptions, that doesn't mean anything, as they are mostly describing males. One good webpage is http://www.help4aspergers.com/pb/wp_a58 ... d4f6a.html

Thank you for your replies. I read the help4aspergers PDF about female traits and found I fit 3/4 of them. I am also reading aspergirls and on every page I can relate. So I'm pretty sure now that I have some degree of it. I score 29 on the basic test you can find anywhere on the web that also lists the general score for people in certain professions. I'm guessing that's a test tailored to male aspies but 29 is still high considering the normal range is 14. I've overcome a lot of issues but there are still things I have difficulty with. For example thinking people are inherently good or smart when they're not, that they understand me when they don't, social anxiety, coping with stress and anger, etc... So I plan to see a therapist who has experience with people with AS to help me with those.
Seeing so little out there for us and that only now people are realizing that if affects women makes me want to research more and write a blog on self discovery. Because identity has always been elusive to me.

I can't stand loud TV and yelling shuts me down. Be-bop jazz like Charlie Parker (which unfortunately my husband loves) feels like the notes are a flock of birds pecking me to death.

BTW, labradorite is one of my favorite gemstones to make jewelry with.