Aspergirls

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This was the very first book written about women that I have related to. Ever. I've flipped through books like "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" and I thought it was a bunch of poorly conceived drivel because I'm nothing at all like how those sorts of books describe women. I'm nothing at all like how any marriage seminars or self-help books describe women either.

So, reading it was good if only to let me know that I'm not some lone freak. There are other women who are somewhat like I am!! !

I read it in a couple of days, immediately after receiving it, and am still in the volatile process of digesting it. It has triggered a vast amount of memories and hind-sight reflections about my life and dysfunctional youth, and rethinking it all is quite shocking... and lonely, actually. Like looking over a vast, void landscape of things piled up and see how they comprise patterns. The book provides a mental filing system for categorising and bringing order in personal strengths and deficiencies. I like how it both advocates self-acceptance and also points to the necessity of working with deficiencies, like the tendency to isolation, singleness and financial strain.

'Aspergirls' is the only piece of women's literature I have read, which I can actually relate to and identify with (not that I have read a lot).

For me, it is also the piece of literature that brings a turning point - Not just because of itself, but I think also the accumulated amount of articles and blogs I have read about Asperger's during the past year (and Tony Attwood's 'Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome)... where I find it hard to see any other explanation than that I do have it and that a diagnosis would give a sensation of closure and readiness to move on.

While I overall like 'Aspergirls' a lot and think it is a very important book (please see my comment above), I have a few points of critique too... The book is (as the foreword says) part memoir, part research interviews and part self-help book for 'aspergirls' (great word), which is a great format, and in the same time naturally subjective.

However, some parts are directly unscientific. E.g. the claim that persons with Aspergers tend to have a higher-than-average IQ. By convention, autistics with intellectual disabilities aren't diagnosed with Asperger's and therefore don't count in the average IQ of people with Asperger's. However, the IQ's of intellectually disabled persons do count in the general populations' average IQ, so obviously the comparison isn't valid.

I also don't buy the 'psychic sensitivity' bit due to irrational comparisons of human's 'psychic' abilities and animals' ability to sense earth quakes before they happen... For example, dogs can smell cancer and blood sugar levels in human, but that doesn't make them 'psychic'. They just have a very advanced sense of smell.

Also, the theory that 'digestive problems may be the cause of autism' doesn't ring right with me either. I understand that while the cause of autism isn't clarified, most evidence point towards it being a genetic difference.

Anyway - Even with a few irrational glitches, it is an excellent book.

I've recently received a diagnosis at age 50, read the book just yesterday, and AWD's comment sums up very well how I felt about it. I've still got a huge amount to learn about Asperger's, but this book has already taught me a lot about how it has affected me. I have to admit I hate the title (if anyone ever calls me an Aspie I'll lamp them one with a large heavy object), but I suppose it is neat in a way.

I think I'll re-read the sections on gender roles, mutism, romantic relationships (a closed book to me), and the phenomenon of 'going down the rabbit hole'. I have a lot of thinking to do about those. There are other things that don't chime: for instance, I seem to be unusual in not being prone to meltdowns or severe depression. But, really importantly, it has helped me to understand the lifelong puzzle of why, as a bright woman, I've never succeeded academically. I've actually put all my intelligence into passing for normal and surviving in the NT world, which I've done exceptionally well – probably too well for my own good.

In common with AWD there were some things I didn't especially enjoy: for instance, the psychic bit sounds utter rubbish to me too. Easily skipped, though, as is the section on having children if you're one of those who simply can't imagine how anyone on the spectrum could deal with bringing up a child. But it's certainly a liberating read for newly-diagnosed people who're only just beginning to understand why they've had the life they have, only just beginning to rebuild their identity, and only just learning to love Asperger's.

Yes I laughed at that bit, it was so ridiculous.

But apart from that I loved the book, most of it could have been written about me. I have her '22 Things a women with Aspergers wants her partner to know' and I found that really helpful too. All the issues I've had in my relationships were there. My Mum has read them and I'm planning on giving both books to my boyfriend to read as well.

I'm in the process of reading it, I read 22 Things a Woman with AS wants her Partner to Know and really related to it so I got Aspergirls shortly after. I'm enjoying it so far but I agree the psychic bits didn't really have a place in the book.

I loved it and darn, I wish there were Tshirts with proud Aspergirl

I saw myself in all of it, including the psychic kind of stuff... I remember since I was a little girl talking about that and most people did not pay attention to me, except my great grandmother who would make me kneel and pray and tell me it was the devil inside of me and that I had to pray to get it out.

I loved this book! Marked off a bunch of pages and told hubby to read them.

I've read and found it very useful. I borrowed it from the library but copied out lots of sections. It would be useful to give to a family member or other to help them understand, especially to get across what a large spectrum it is, and the many differences between men and women on the spectrum. I like the chart of female difficulties at the back. It was all pretty incredible to see so much of your life out on the page like that.

Recommend it!

I got the book because I am wondering if I might have AS. Most of the book really resonates with me. The list of female AS traits describes me really well. This book pushes me to look into AS further in order to deal with life difficulties that I have been facing.

I wanted it for ages and ages and couldn't find it anywhere. Finally got it as a Christmas gift this past December and was so, so disappointed. I couldn't relate to much of it at all- I had intended to use it as a guide for romantic partners to help them understand me better, but I'm nothing like most of what the book talks about (through cutesy anecdotes).

Yes I own a copy. I saw the Aspergirls girl throwing her arms up on the cover of another book so I find it kind of funny they chose to use a stock image for the cover. I noticed the book tends to highlight extreme instances, and lots of prodigies. It made me feel a little inferior being both heavily socially impaired but not say, a violin prodigy. I'm just somewhat better at drawing than most but not making any money with it.

I've much of the book, and I also agree that it offers lots of great insight into the lives of women with Asperger's I have a local aspie women's meet-up group, and we talk about parts of the book all the time. I feel very lucky to have found a meet-up group of women with Asperger's (we go out on the town sometimes and do things together; once we went to Seattle and spent about three hours in an Asian superstore lol).

in my search for knowledge about Asperger Syndrome in females i came across this book and so i checked it out from the library a week ago today and i'm on page 98 (i have always been a slow reader) so far i have found a ton of stuff that i find in myself. i will try to get my mom to read the book too maybe that will help her to understand me better. i definitely want my own copy eventually but 20 bucks is something i can't spare right now. if i sell enough of the key chains i make then maybe i'll be able to go ahead and get it.



Butterfly's Creations

I should probably reread it. It was the first book I read when I started taking my suspicions seriously but I was still in the "nah but that's not really an issue right?" phase where you recognize some details but have not yet realized how much the sum of all those 'little' things impacts your life.

The situations she described have triggered recognition of patterns both in memories and in my current situation that helped me gain some insight on how this really all fits together.

As earlier posters pointed out: I'm not prone to depressions nor do I see much in the digestive problems cause stuff, but a useful book nevertheless.

One disappointment though: it doesn't quite live up to its 'empowering' claim. Like most information on the subject, the book is all about how difficult certain aspects are and how parents should be accommodating/extra careful, and not much about how we may actually turn out fairly okay in the absence of such measures.

Not that everything is peachy - I wouldn't have ended up here on WP if it were - and yes my current situation probably could have been avoided with more external support.
However I've managed to deal with various extreme situations over the years because my brain works the way it does. It has allowed me to come up with unconventional solutions to problems. Also for me the weights of certain aspects of 'hardships' seem to be different than 'for everyone else', and my delayed reaction makes me the last woman standing in a crisis situation.

I suppose I missed some celebration of the upsides of 'different' That said, it's a good thing more female-specific information is becoming available and I would indeed recommend it.

I just finished reading this book and was amazed at how much Rudy and the other Aspergirls had in common with how i am. next i am going to be giving this book to my mom for her to read, perhaps it will help her to understand me better and being more understanding of some of the things i say and do that aggravate her to no end.