so, who are these creepy men

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great article.

This is a really interesting thread. I think of 'creepy' guys as men who see women as objects of their lust, instead of as human beings. These 'creepy' guys have a love'hate relationship with women. When they see a woman who is attractive to them, it sparks a fantasy they have about the woman, and how she will behave toward him. When the woman does not behave as expected, he can become angry. He will cross the boundaries of acceptable relating to said woman because he thinks she is his fantasy woman and not a real person who has a right to boundaries and respect. In extreme cases these 'creepy' men can become violent towards women, because they blame her for the hatred and self-disgust they feel about their own lust.

In some countries, it is considered the responsibility of the woman to prevent any sparking of lust in the man, and she is held accountable should she be raped. There are many restrictions on women in other countries. For example, I am in India at the moment. I cannot emphasise my cleavage, even if it is covered. I am told to slope my shoulders forward so that my chest does not protrude. I can't go on the back of a motorcycle with someone who is not in my immediate family, even a close family friend. It goes on. The honour of the family is at stake here. Women are held prisoner to the right of men to be creepy.

In my own Western country, I have been cornered and bothered by 'creepy' inappropriate men. There is a difference between a 'creepy' man and a genuine man who is simply socially awkward. The creepy man was the one who approached me while I worked in a shop and rubbed himself against me. Eww. The one who was not creepy, but simply socially awkward, slipped me a poem under my front door one night. He went to my school and liked me as a person, we were friends but he was too shy to speak to me and was also deeply emotional. I was embarassed and turned him down, since I didn't like him that way, but I didn't consider him creepy, even though he did kind of invade my personal space by finding out my home address.

nuff said. going to bed.

...Would saying "hi how are you today"be creepy?How about saying "you seem nice how about we go grab a coffee and get to know eachother" be creepy? That is what I would say anyways given I have the courage to say the latter.

Yes I feel like I'm a magnet for creepy guys. : / enough already. What is it about me lounging on a beach with a book over my face and my sunglasses on that makes some guy far older than my father think I wanna talk to him?

I've tortured myself by blaming me for these kinds of things and come to find out my normal friends seem to hav creepy guy trouble too....

It wouldn't be creepy with someone you already know.
If it's someone you don't know, it's going to come off as a clear pass; you'll have to be prepared for rejection if she already has a boyfriend, or doesn't want a boyfriend, or simply hadn't wanted to be disturbed at that moment. If someone is sitting up and looking around them, 'people-watching,' they're going to be more open to a conversation with a stranger than if they're reading or concentrating on work.

It's partly an aspie thing, but I can't tell you how annoying it is to be concentrating on a book and have some random dude interrupts and wants to start up a chat. It's disorienting - frankly, it's almost enough to ruin my day, and certainly it's going to take me a while before I can get my concentration back. In addition, sometimes I bring a book on plane rides or bus rides specifically to indicate that I'm not open for chats with random strangers, male or female.

I've taken the nuclear option of just not talking to basically any girls ever since I'm "creepy" by mere existence. Whatever women.

Ok. Hope you're happy with that.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FsfLPohZ_c[/youtube]

Hmm... Perhaps there would be less "creepy" stuff going on if it was more commonplace that women approach and ask out the guys instead of it being an unspoken social rule that the guys do all of that?

Perhaps, but look at the OP in the 'war against men' thread on PPR: there are still a lot of people out there, women as well as men, who come down hard on women who are 'unfeminine' and do things like taking the initiative with men. There's a lot of social pressure against it. Women who come across as 'too forward' are seen as loose, bordering on prostitutes, by a lot of people, and if she were raped later (not necessarily by that guy, but especially if it was him), you can bet that it WOULD come out if she took him to trial that she was "asking for it," regardless of whether she was asking for more than a guy's presence in a coffee shop at the same time as her.

If (more likely) she's not raped, she's merely blamed for the downfall of the western family.

Which is why I let the woman approach me and if she catches my interest by talking to me then I will reply and ask her for a cup of coffee or something of that nature.

I asked my husband out the first time, although I was already confident of his answer.

QFT

This is the case with my co-worker. He seems to have these expectations of how I will behave with him and when I don't, he becomes angry and frustrated. I hate to think of what he and my fantasy self are getting up to.

errrr and who determines what and who creepy is. I don't get hit on by any strangers because I am too much like a dude. I disagree with labeling people as creepy because what is creepy to one person is the opposite to another.

Creepy (adjective):

I was in my own hotel room in Las Vegas. I was drunk and semi-conscious.

My idiot roommate brought a guy back to our room, then she left to get ice (or something).

In her brief absence, the d-bag hops onto my bed and started touching me. It was pitch black in my room and I was scared s****less and still quite drunk and unable to formulate a response, even when he kissed me. Thankfully, my roommate returned with her ice (or whatever), and he immediately went over to her and they proceeded to have noisy sex.

He was a creep. I don't care if my calling him that hurts his poor wittle fweelings. If he doesn't want to be considered a "creep," he would do well not to hop into the bed of women he doesn't know in Las Vegas.

Personally, I'll take random guys saying "hello" to me on the street over that crap any day.

at least by being a hermit out in the woods, nobody further cares if i'm a creep.

Is my plan at 21 years old.