I don't want kids, and i don't like kids?

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saraip
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19 Jan 2013, 6:54 am

Ha ha - sure there are women who don't want kids - probably more of them than you realise! ;)



Mitsuki
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20 Jan 2013, 10:48 pm

Telephonoscope wrote:
Not having a maternal might actually be a good thing in this over-populated world. Also, the stigma that you aren't a real woman unless you have children needs to die in a fire.


Couldn't agree more!



periphery
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21 Jan 2013, 2:34 am

I dont want kids. It's a kind of isolating place to be when everyone's having them around you.



musicforanna
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31 Jan 2013, 9:50 pm

OMGitsKenny wrote:
Wait... there are actual women who do not want kids? Every one I've run into the past dew weeks have been baby crazy! O.o

Every time I see people who blather on and on about having baby fever, I urp in my mouth.



ColdEyesWarmHeart
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01 Feb 2013, 4:39 am

In the no-kids-couples I know, it's the men who are clucking. The women couldn't care less about babies. Probably because the women know what they've got to lose by becoming mums!



Zemashumashu
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01 Feb 2013, 10:52 am

I am so mixed about this. I like the idea of having kids. But I think in practice I will probably fail miserably. Also the way my mum was overwelmed all the time. Telling us we were monsters and that she was going to kill us. Still makes me feel like having kids of your own is something terrible and I can't shake that feeling.


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Rose_in_Winter
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01 Feb 2013, 11:54 pm

I think kids are terrific. I love being around them -- I love the way they think, their creativity and imagination. I think they are fun. I prefer older kids and pre-teens, but little kids are okay, too. They are so much less judgmental than adults. This is the main reason I went into teaching/tutoring, so that I could spend time with kids. (Too bad it turns out the politics and other adults aren't worth it.) I think kids are the best -- as long as they aren't mine.

It comes down to this: I love kids. Other people's kids. My husband feels the same way. We like to play with our friends' kids. We think our nephews (ages 6, 5, and 2) are awesome. But I have absolutely no desire for spawn of my own, and neither does my husband. I have no maternal instinct and he has no paternal instinct. So while we enjoy kids, we'd be rotten, miserable, resentful parents. After all, if it's someone else's kid, you get to give it back when you're sick of it.

I tell people my biological clock is set to "dog," because I absolutely dote on my Welsh Corgi, Ein! Clearly I have some level of nurturing instincts. They're just all for dogs and not for babies.



Draka
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09 Feb 2013, 1:18 pm

If I ever want kids, I'll adopt older kids. That way, I can help someone, won't have to deal with pregnancy/birth, or the diaper/inability-to-sleep-at-a-normal-time stage, and I won't contribute to the overpopulation problem.



emmyy
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20 Feb 2013, 7:42 am

Is there anyone else who doesn't just dislike kids, but HATE them.
I HATE KIDS. So much. No matter what age, they are horrible.
Noisy, ugly, dirty, smelly.
Drooling, puking, smelling SO bad.
Touching without permission.
Screaming.
THEY ARE HORRIBLE.


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mikassyna
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20 Feb 2013, 10:33 am

When I was growing up I never fantasized about being Mommy. I couldn't even play imaginary Mommy with dolls! All I would do was fantasize about achieving something incredible and then... I don't know. I guess I thought that was the recipe for people finally liking me and not treating me like a freak anymore. So, I never really even thought about kids until I had my first real relationship at 27 years old, with a much older man who already had kids. After him, I dated someone else who wanted kids but wasn't sure if he wanted them with me, or he was just saying he wanted kids to chase me away. I thought maybe he wanted them with me but I wasn't sure and too scared to ask. The next guy (who already had a kid) is the one I'm married to now and had 2 of my own kids with. I didn't think I could get pregnant because throughout my whole entire adulthood without being on contraceptives I never got pregnant so I figured I was a biologically incapable freak of nature. Stupid thinking for someone who's supposedly smart LOL Outside of a relationship I would never think about having kids--ever. It just didn't make any logical sense. I do know there are women out there who want kids so badly that they would get artificially inseminated but my biology imperative is simply nonexistent if I'm not in a stable relationship with someone.

When my first baby was born I was so terrified, because I had never been around babies before in any real sense. I kept pawning him off on the nurse to change his diaper because I had no idea what to do! Finally I learned--but only because I had to!



LilythMoon
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03 Oct 2013, 9:56 pm

i dont want children either. It bothers me that society is expecting me to have kids or even thinks that i want too. Im glad im not the only one who really doesnt want children


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elkclan
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07 Oct 2013, 4:22 am

I am NT, but I can say that I was always a bit ambivalent about having children and I never (well rarely) had this strong desire to reproduce. I never CRAVED a baby. I do not like babies. I do like kids in general.

Anyway, I did get pregnant and now have a son. I found babyhood parenting very, very hard. And I did not get much support from my Aspie (suspected) husband. I think it was very hard for him. And that made it very hard for me. On top of parenting which is a hard job, he was having more meltdowns and I think some sensory issues and became really critical, etc.

He is also a quite distant father, treats my son as an annoyance and only really wants to play with him if my son is engaging in his special interest...which he's not quite old enough for....so it often works out poorly for everyone.

Now that my son is 6 he is - without a doubt - a handful. But he's also the joy of my life. I not only really enjoy spending time with him, I also enjoy doing things with other kids his age. I am coaching his age group at rugby and I really love it. The odd thing is, I do not enjoy coaching him - I find it VERY frustrating, but I do enjoy coaching the other kids. Other parents feel the same. So I don't feel like a freak about it.

I don't regret having him at all, but I also know I could have been perfectly happy without children, too.

You don't have to have kids and shouldn't feel pressured if you think you'd be happier not to. But if you do end up having kids just do the best you can.



kalli889
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08 Oct 2013, 7:38 pm

I think the next time people ask me when I'm going to have kids, I'm going to get really quiet, look at my feet, whisper, "I'm infertile," and rush out of the room so they feel like jerks. 8)