Girls and empathy

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What is everyone's feeling about empathy and aspergers? I feel like I have way too much empathy but I just saw a news clip about an aspergers mom that felt she had no empathy and felt detached from her kids in some ways. Im guessing there is quite a variation in this from person to person. I was wondering if it is more common to lack empathy for woman with aspergers or perhaps is too much empathy more common. the books I've read seem to paint the picture that lacking empathy is more common trait..... but books can be wrong (especially with referring to females). How do you all feel about empathy?

Yeah, the mother here says the same thing as well.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVa7O1KQg90[/youtube]
As for myself, I don't think I've ever felt that maternal bond that other girls and women have towards children either. I don't really find babies to be adorable, and whenever I play with or babysit little kids, that motherly element isn't there. It's more like I'm just watching them because I'm supposed to, or if I genuinely like the kid, I treat them more like a friend than anything else. I've never been Dxed with AS but I have spoken with my parents and general practitioner about it and should be getting tested in the near future.

When I was little I barely had any empathy at all. Now however it´s completely the opposite, especially when it comes to certain animals and children. I think it´s because in my teens I was bullied alot and I´ve been through a few tough things which has made me prone to depression and anxiety.

Some things I feel very little empathy about. I mean, I know when things are supposed to be sad, but I just don't feel it. But then other times I feel so much that I literally shudder with the pain - it's almost as though it is being amplified through me, and it's almost too much to bear.

I think on balance that the unfeeling part is a defence mechanism - I basically shut down to avoid feeling so much, otherwise I would just be in constant meltdown.

Maybe that's it....it's about extremes. I can see that being true about feeling so much that you can't even process it or express it, making it appear like one does not have empathy.

Thanks for sharing

I get very emotional when watching sad movies (I mean VERY), but when it comes to important things like people dying, I don't feel what I guess I'm supposed to feel? I've lost relatives and all my grandparents, but I've never felt more than just a discomfort over not feeling as upset as everyone around me. It probably has more to do with a lack of attachment in life, as I don't feel close to many people.

I seem more "sympathetic" than anything else, in that I think but don't always feel.

I have loads of empathy, to a fault maybe. I avoid watching certain TV programmes and reading certain articles in newspapers. If I inadvertently see or hear about something which causes an empathy overload, I might not sleep well for several nights and wake up with that thought in my mind.

On Monday, I was travelling back from Madeira. At the airport, a woman, who was supposed to be on my flight, died. I found out about it when I entered the gate and saw her corpse sitting in a wheelchair and a woman, who was probably her daughter, was looking at her. She had that look of resignation about her, i.e. my mum has just died here, I kind of expected it, it was her time, etc. She was very calm, not crying or attempting to revive her mum. Soon after, an ambulance crew arrived and they tried to resuscitate her, but it was pretty clear that she was dead and, if they somehow managed to get her heart started again, her brain would not recover. My husband and I have first aid training and, had we thought it was possible to revive her, we would have stepped in, before the crew arrived, but when I first saw her, she looked dead, not ill. It was far too late to do anything and it was clear that the daughter was not expecting anybody to perform first aid. It was a really shocking sight. The two women appeared to be travelling with nobody else, so the younger woman was dealing with this big matter all on her own. I'm pretty sure most people will have put this to the back of their mind by now, but my empathy for the daughter is overwhelming.

MummyofPeanut, I'm sorry you've got that sad thing stuck in your head. I hope it will start to recede soon.

When I was a kid I used to be able to read books about serial killers and look at pictures of really icky things, like murdered people and car accidents without batting an eye. I was a little bothered by the fact that it didn't bother me. Once I had kids I got extremely squeamish. I can't stand anything relating to cruelty to children or animals.

I'm an over-emphathiser too. As a young girl I read and watched horror books/movies with a fascination almost - but now I can't. It's too real. The pain, fear - it's like I feel it. And it sticks with me for days.

I have an online friend in Australia who shared that her close friend had died suddenly at home in the kitchen in front of her family. A family of young kids, one still nursing/nit weaned. At the time I was still nursing my youngest and I was devastated. The thought of those kids and that baby. Motherless. It stayed in my mind for months. Even now, it's been years. But still really affects me.

Cruelty to animals actually affects me more than people in pain. Those things are both so painful to me. For instance, I cannot watch Stephen King movies - he's always killing off the family dog or cat. I turn his stuff off or give mu hisband serious s$it for putting it on. Or any movie that hurts an animal or child. It sickens me to the core that writers/filmmakers feel this is necessary for the story. Fluffy does not need to be killed for people to understand that the bad guy is a bad guy.

I sometimes have too much empathy and other times not enough, it seems. My biggest problem, though, is expressing it. I never ever know what to say in those situations. If someone's telling me about their problems, I end up saying "I'm sorry" a lot, but I know not everyone who says that actually means it, though I always do. Other times, I end up making the person mad because I keep insisting on them completely elaborate on the subject (why tell me at all?), or I'm too logical sounding (I think I do this to prevent empathy-overload) and they think I don't care or understand. If it were in person, I could hug them, but that's almost never the case.

I can't relate to the idea that people with ASD "lack empathy." It is a false concept.

Like many others have stated, I am overly emotional and sensitive. I don't own a television and need to get my news in print so that I can completely avoid certain types of stories. I cry just listening to music that moves me, and at movies. When something negative is being experienced by someone around me, I feel it too - too much, in fact, to be simply in the role of a supportive friend. It's overwhelming. I have skipped memorial services for family members and friends because of this. It is very frustrating, actually. One thing I;m still waiting to outgrow, I guess.

My son (age 4, Aspergers) appears to be the same way. Since he was as young as 2, he cries when I sing certain songs about love, and cries if he watches anything sad about animals or loss.