Any female Aspies decided that motherhood is not for them?

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hanyo
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07 Jun 2013, 6:12 pm

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puddingmouse
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07 Jun 2013, 6:56 pm

^ :lol: I have a friend who feels exactly the same way. I love the Picard pic at the end.

I find both baby animals and human babies cute. I find kids cuter when they're old enough to talk, though.


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ladyships
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07 Jun 2013, 10:04 pm

I've always wanted to have kids, but I'm such a perfectionist that I don't know that I'd ever feel like it was a responsible time to do it. (I'd have to be completely on top of my own psychological problems before I could responsibly take care of another human being, I think. & it just seems to me like that could easily end up being a lifelong process.)

My NT mom's always telling me that it's never a rational decision to have children, that nobody would have kids if it was a rational decision...but, I dunno. I can't understand how on earth anybody would ever make such a huge decision irrationally.

For now, I just get my baby fix by teaching infant massage to new moms. All the fun, but I don't have to deal with poop OR screwed up sleeping patterns! (& the fact that I have to consciously learn all social cues means I've done my research re: infant cues, so I'm an awesome teacher. It's great to be an Aspie [incognito, granted] & be able to translate body language for NTs [because I read a thousand books that they didn't]...heeheeheehee.)

P.S. I have Aspie genes up the wazoo—all the males on my dad's side of the family are on the spectrum, including my dad & brother—& my boyfriend's an Aspie like me, but I'm not at all concerned about passing the genes along. For all the troubles being an Aspie causes, I feel like it also has a lot to do with what's awesome about me. Frankly, if I had a kid, I'd be REALLY worried that they would be an NT (like my twin sister)...that, to me, would be SO MUCH WORSE than passing on my genes. I wouldn't know how to parent an NT kid. But if they were an Aspie, I know I'd be an awesome mom!

P.P.S. The boyfriend has said that he'd totally have a kid if he could guarantee that the kid'd be on the spectrum. But, since there's no guarantee...

Here's a fun question: if an NT kid had two Aspies for parents, would they still develop like an NT with NT parents...or would they have compromised social skills because they were just mimicking their parents' example?


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Spiderpig
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07 Jun 2013, 10:45 pm

I think they’d be more likely to have compromised social skills because of their parents not letting them have enough exposure to the outside world. Even more so if they’re confined in a boring environment, unable to develop interests of their own, so, when they do meet peers, they have nothing interesting to offer, so they stay isolated, keeping the vicious cycle going.


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shayl
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14 Jun 2013, 1:43 am

I've never really wanted kids. I'll be 30 this year and neither I nor my husband have any interest in it.

It's not that I don't like kids, though. I love them. I enjoy playing with them and drawing and doing art with them, and all kinds of stuff. But then I can give them back.

I think it's mostly because the husband and I are satisfied with our lives the way they are, nice and quiet and stable. Neither one of us deals very well with noise, messes, stress, fighting, and all the other things that go along with parenthood. I know there are good things about it too, but I just don't have this burning desire to have them. I DO have a burning desire to have cats, however.



EmberEyes
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28 Jun 2013, 4:28 pm

Motherhood is definatley not for me. Apart from my defective genetics that do not need to be spread to the next generation, I m just not a good mother-material. I don't have the patience and I don't think I could deal with the emotional rollercoaster that parenthood includes.



Briarsprout
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29 Jun 2013, 6:26 pm

I never had children. I think it would have been too stressful on top of a lot of other things.



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30 Jun 2013, 1:31 am

I've been working with kids since I was young - started babysitting at age 11. I worked in daycare and was a nanny. Now I work in the NICU. Because of all that, many people find it very strange that I don't want children of my own. However, I think that by spending so much time with kids helped me figure out very early on that I didn't want any of my own.
My husband doesn't want them either and a few years ago he had a vasectomy so that I don't have to stay on BC. We're perfectly content with our pets. We love to travel. I'm going back to school and planning to go on to graduate work in a few years. I don't need some little ankle-biters to make my life complete. :D


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Ashuahhe
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02 Jul 2013, 6:57 pm

I like children but I consider the whole pregnancy idea very frightening. While I might be a good mother, I also feel like they'd adopt most of my insecurities too



Cilantro
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03 Jul 2013, 9:23 am

ladyships wrote:
Here's a fun question: if an NT kid had two Aspies for parents, would they still develop like an NT with NT parents...or would they have compromised social skills because they were just mimicking their parents' example?


I think it would affect them, but they wouldn't grow up to seem Aspie. Their brains would be NT but their developmental process might be a little different because of the different home environment their parents provided them with. Our social skills develop not only from observing our parents but from interaction with peers, teachers, and other family.



chlov
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26 Jul 2013, 7:46 am

I think that one of my biggest issues with motherhood would be empathy.

I wouldn't know how to comfort someone or help them in an emotional way.

Also, if a son/daughter turned out to be a leech and didn't want to work but just stay at home with me for all their life, I'd probably kick them out of my house and tell them "if you want to come back here get a job and bring some money home".
This may sound cruel, but at this point a son/daughter would be just a drag, and I want to be free from drags and avoid obligations.
Just because I've raised them, it doesn't mean I should accept them as a drag.

I've thought about adoption, because I don't want to get pregnant, but at this point is maybe better if I don't become a mother at all.



Soccer22
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26 Jul 2013, 10:31 am

I never wanted kids until now. My good friend had a beautiful son about a year ago and spending time with him is so much fun and there's so much love. Of course children are not easy though. But I definitely have reconsidered having a child now. First marriage though :D



smudge
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26 Jul 2013, 10:37 am

I just really don't like children. If I tell other women, they give me a funny look.

I think people are plain bonkers for wanting them.



loveturn
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26 Jul 2013, 1:42 pm

I've always wanted children, but I don't want a husband. So that's a bit of a problem.



charity631986
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27 Jul 2013, 9:57 am

I for one don't have want them. I like kids but as long as i can send them back to their parents I'm fine. Can not deal with kids all the time. It gets on my nerves. I made this decision at 16 so it was easy. Plus It makes it easier to deal with yourself better when not having to worry abotu someone else all the time.


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31 Jul 2013, 11:29 pm

Don't like kids, never have-don't want them & don't have them.


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