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the treatment of women on wrongplanet

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Nights_Like_These
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23 May 2014, 6:45 pm

Dox47 wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
that may be true--however, i'm pretty sure bragging about emotionally abusing your SO (and yes, premeditated and intentional emotional manipulation is abuse) IS against the rules, as it should be.


The mods thought otherwise. Can you point out this rule in the ToS? I'm fairly familiar with the document, but if you think I've missed something, bring it up.

starvingartist wrote:
or are we supposed to humour bullies and predators when they brag about their bullying activities/predating?


Here's bill's post:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6061171.html#6061171
billiscool wrote:
actual that's How I got my GF(''best lady friend'')back for the
second time.By being a complete douch(jerk)I would just
mock her,and she came back to me.

And she's back with me for the 3rd time.Whenever we ''separate''
I act like ''alpha douche''and whatever reason,she gets
turn on and goes back with me.


That sounds jerkish, even Bill thinks so, but to call it predatory seems hyperbolic, to say the least, and Bill was quickly condemned from all corners for it, I'm not sure what moderator intervention would have accomplished, unless silencing people like Bill is your ultimate goal. There even could have been an interesting discussion around the comment, with people examining the possible reasons that Bill's girlfriend would react positively to that kind of treatment, which would have been a more helpful conversation than "Bill is a horrible person who should be kicked off this site!! !".


I don't think anyone is referring to that particular statement as predatory. I've seen him prying/making unwanted inquiries into the sex-lives of female members of WP before, even after being told to back-off. (To be fair, he's been moderated for this, but to be fair again I'm pretty sure it has happened and he has been moderated for the behaviour more than once)



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23 May 2014, 6:54 pm

Dox47 wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
that may be true--however, i'm pretty sure bragging about emotionally abusing your SO (and yes, premeditated and intentional emotional manipulation is abuse) IS against the rules, as it should be.


The mods thought otherwise. Can you point out this rule in the ToS? I'm fairly familiar with the document, but if you think I've missed something, bring it up.

starvingartist wrote:
or are we supposed to humour bullies and predators when they brag about their bullying activities/predating?


Here's bill's post:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6061171.html#6061171
billiscool wrote:
actual that's How I got my GF(''best lady friend'')back for the
second time.By being a complete douch(jerk)I would just
mock her,and she came back to me.

And she's back with me for the 3rd time.Whenever we ''separate''
I act like ''alpha douche''and whatever reason,she gets
turn on and goes back with me.


That sounds jerkish, even Bill thinks so, but to call it predatory seems hyperbolic, to say the least, and Bill was quickly condemned from all corners for it, I'm not sure what moderator intervention would have accomplished, unless silencing people like Bill is your ultimate goal. There even could have been an interesting discussion around the comment, with people examining the possible reasons that Bill's girlfriend would react positively to that kind of treatment, which would have been a more helpful conversation than "Bill is a horrible person who should be kicked off this site!! !".


The way Bill treats people is abhorrent. He is quite aware of this, meaning that it's not just a result of him "coming off that way", his behavior is entirely intentional. I don't see why we have to put up with someone like that, or people who would defend someone like that, in our midst.



Dox47
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23 May 2014, 7:05 pm

SmarterThanYouThink wrote:
The way Bill treats people is abhorrent. He is quite aware of this, meaning that it's not just a result of him "coming off that way", his behavior is entirely intentional. I don't see why we have to put up with someone like that, or people who would defend someone like that, in our midst.


How are you so sure of his intent? His posts are half-coherent at best, and his posts in other sections of the forum don't seem particularly self aware, which to me indicates against him intentionally riling people. I don't follow him around the forum reading everything he posts, so it's entirely possible that I'd come to a different conclusion after reading more of him, but that's not really my job, I'm just posting my own observations and opinions here.


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Dox47
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23 May 2014, 7:11 pm

Nights_Like_These wrote:
I don't think anyone is referring to that particular statement as predatory. I've seen him prying/making unwanted inquiries into the sex-lives of female members of WP before, even after being told to back-off. (To be fair, he's been moderated for this, but to be fair again I'm pretty sure it has happened and he has been moderated for the behaviour more than once)


Starvingartist most certainly is, as she used that specific word immediately after referencing the post. In fact, she thinks that it's tantamount to bragging about raping and murdering your partner, http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6061962.html#6061962 .

Gotta link to any of these "predatory" posts of Bill's?


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starvingartist
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23 May 2014, 7:18 pm

Dox47 wrote:
Nights_Like_These wrote:
I don't think anyone is referring to that particular statement as predatory. I've seen him prying/making unwanted inquiries into the sex-lives of female members of WP before, even after being told to back-off. (To be fair, he's been moderated for this, but to be fair again I'm pretty sure it has happened and he has been moderated for the behaviour more than once)


Starvingartist most certainly is, as she used that specific word immediately after referencing the post. In fact, she thinks that it's tantamount to bragging about raping and murdering your partner, http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6061962.html#6061962 .

Gotta link to any of these "predatory" posts of Bill's?


maybe you might be wary of him too if he was prying into your sexual history--and if you had been informed by a mod that he's been known to "cause problems" for other female members, and warned to be careful of him. my reasons for suspecting him as a predator are not unfounded.



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23 May 2014, 7:57 pm

billiscool wrote:
cubedemon6073 wrote:

Bill, the problem is you're lumping all women into one lump sum. Women have different beliefs, thoughts, ideas, etc. There are different types of women around the world so your problem is you're making generalizations that are weak.


your not answering the question,when does the sexism line get cross.
What the difference between sexism and just complaining about
women,which most guys do


Complaining about all women IS SEXISM.
Complaining about one woman without blaming it on the fact that she's female IS NOT SEXISM.
It's really very simple.


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Nights_Like_These
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23 May 2014, 7:58 pm

Dox47 wrote:
Nights_Like_These wrote:
I don't think anyone is referring to that particular statement as predatory. I've seen him prying/making unwanted inquiries into the sex-lives of female members of WP before, even after being told to back-off. (To be fair, he's been moderated for this, but to be fair again I'm pretty sure it has happened and he has been moderated for the behaviour more than once)


Starvingartist most certainly is, as she used that specific word immediately after referencing the post. In fact, she thinks that it's tantamount to bragging about raping and murdering your partner, http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp6061962.html#6061962 .

Gotta link to any of these "predatory" posts of Bill's?


I'm not sure that it's possible to link to the specific post I had in mind anymore, but whether or not I can link to it is irrelevant. I've mentioned the nature of the post to you, and the moderators are already well aware of said posts as they are the ones that moderated it, there's nothing more to be said about it.

I don't know, intentionally emotionally abusing people could be seen as predatory. People who are abusers are usually quite adept at finding significant others that will allow the abuse. They're good at finding people with the right sort of weaknesses that they can exploit.



Dox47
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23 May 2014, 8:00 pm

starvingartist wrote:
maybe you might be wary of him too if he was prying into your sexual history--and if you had been informed by a mod that he's been known to "cause problems" for other female members, and warned to be careful of him. my reasons for suspecting him as a predator are not unfounded.


Like I said to the other poster, I'm not an expert on Bill, I'm just going off of what I've seen, and 'predatory' still seems like a reach.


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billiscool
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23 May 2014, 8:04 pm

Nights_Like_These wrote:

I don't think anyone is referring to that particular statement as predatory. I've seen him prying/making unwanted inquiries into the sex-lives of female members of WP before, even after being told to back-off. (To be fair, he's been moderated for this, but to be fair again I'm pretty sure it has happened and he has been moderated for the behaviour more than once)


That's past stuff.My recent stuff has been about feminist,leftist
women and my Girlfriend. I don't think I have bothering
any women on this site for over a year.
don't bring up stuff I said Year ago.



Nights_Like_These
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23 May 2014, 8:09 pm

billiscool wrote:
Nights_Like_These wrote:

I don't think anyone is referring to that particular statement as predatory. I've seen him prying/making unwanted inquiries into the sex-lives of female members of WP before, even after being told to back-off. (To be fair, he's been moderated for this, but to be fair again I'm pretty sure it has happened and he has been moderated for the behaviour more than once)


That's past stuff.My recent stuff has been about feminist,leftist
women and my Girlfriend. I don't think I have bothering
any women on this site for over a year.
don't bring up stuff I said Year ago.


lol It was most definitely NOT a year ago. More like a couple of weeks ago. It may not be fresh on your mind anymore after a couple or few weeks, but it's probably still fresh on the minds of the people you were directing the behaviour at.



billiscool
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23 May 2014, 8:11 pm

Show a post of me saying sexist thing towards
all women.I've said stuff about feminist,liberal
women,my girlfriend.Make sure I said it in
last 2 months,not 2 years ago.



Nights_Like_These
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23 May 2014, 8:15 pm

billiscool wrote:
Show a post of me saying sexist thing towards
all women.I've said stuff about feminist,liberal
women,my girlfriend.Make sure I said it in
last 2 months,not 2 years ago.


I'm no longer referring to sexists posts. I'm talking about the predatory ones where you are trying to pry into/make public comments about the sex-lives of other people to the point where they need to tell you to back-off.

Argh! I give up. lol :wall:



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23 May 2014, 8:25 pm

Nights_Like_These wrote:

I'm no longer referring to sexists posts. I'm talking about the predatory ones where you are trying to pry into/make public comments about the sex-lives of other people to the point where they need to tell you to back-off.

Argh! I give up. lol :wall:


Ok,show me post where I did that in the last 2 month.



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23 May 2014, 8:31 pm

I should point out alot of women and men
do post about their sexual and romantic behavior
on this site.Their ONS,their FWB.So,alot
of them are voluntarily puting that stuff on the board.



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23 May 2014, 9:09 pm

Just for context, I run an Autism support group in Seattle, and a lot of my willingness to extend the benefit of the doubt comes from my experience of Aspie social obliviousness first hand.
For example, there is a guy that comes to some of the meetings that not only doesn't really get personal space, but has really poor hygiene, and is clearly on the lower functioning end of the spectrum. Compounding this, he makes a point of trying to talk to any women that happen to show up, and between the too close standing, the weird questions and the hygiene, most find it off putting, and me or one of the other organizers try and keep an eye on him to intercept him when we see him buttonholing a woman who clearly doesn't want to talk to him. From an outside perspective, it looks really bad, and for the woman on the receiving end, I'm sure it's annoying as hell if not worse, but to describe it as 'predatory' would not be accurate either, just clueless and low functioning in an unfortunate combination.
I try to be sensitive to that dynamic online as well, as I'm more aware than most of how even fairly aggressive seeming behavior can actually have a perfectly innocent cause, especially in a medium where social cues are even less existent than normal.


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23 May 2014, 10:15 pm

Dox47 wrote:
starvingartist wrote:
in a forum for people with a pervasive developmental disorder, that's pretty low.


Giving a truthful answer to someone who is making insinuations about why his post hasn't been responded to?


The reason I asked was I wanted an actual answer to know if I did anything wrong.

That is awesome that you have a job and you were able to fit into their veneer. Unfortunately, I can't pretend to be something I'm not.



Last edited by cubedemon6073 on 23 May 2014, 11:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.