Girls- what do you find most attractive/sexy in a guy?

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Starr, one reason I had a huge crush on Bill Clinton (still do) was because of his awesome forearms and hands. My god, whenever his shirtsleeves were rolled up, I melted.

I also love big noses. I adore big noses on men. Not eggplant-sized, mind you, but I like larger than average or unusually shaped...

My husband, I should mention, possess almost all of my preferred qualities. Although he's into Go-Kart racing (ugh), and doesn't share my love of literature, he's a quiet, confident man with a wonderful, sarcastic sense of humor and is a true artist when it comes to woodworking and home improvement design -- plus he's got some GREAT forearms and hands, AND a beautifully odd nose.

Woah...Bill Clinton, definitely! I also used to have a thing about Chancellor Hemut Kohl, hehehe, I think it was his size. I like large men, my husband's quite chunky.

Maybe we should have a thread 'Most fanciable presidents'?

Nooo, not me. Nor anyone I know who's over 18 (emotionally). And I do know a considerable number of people. There may be some allure of these types for some very young girls who haven't dealt with such idiots or the fallout related to them before. But, it doesn't take long, when you're face to face with that, to realize a loser for a loser. Unless one has an underlieing emotional disorder that leaves one vulnerable to manipulation, you only have to experience them once to know better.

I'd say I could agree to all of that. In addition I have endless criteria (no wonder what I like is so narrow). My hubby fits them:

Highest on the list is no kids of any type. That means no grown kids, no young kids, no kids that have never lived with them (or they have never met), no kids living with mom, no thoughts of kids, no wishy washy attitude about kids, etc. That knocks just about all of them out right there. Most are wishy washy if they don't already have them.

They'd have to make at least as much as I do and that's because I'm not supporting anyone. I don't like going to work so I'm not doing it for anyone else's benefit. End of story. (Now if hubby suddenly became disabled that would be different since he's always pulled his own weight and I know he's no free loader.) The other side of that is that I want someone who can afford to do the things I want to do. I can do this, they should be able to as well.

I do like intelligent men and I like educated men. That's probably because I like to take classes and I don't want to hear how it's all garbage or anything like that.

I don't care if they are into sports (to play them) or sometimes watch them (I probably wouldn't notice anyway), but there can be no expectation that I will participate in that. Actually, I prefer that they have some activities of their own since I do.

They have to like to travel.

They have to like the theatre, symphony, museums and true art festivals (no crafts).

They have to be able to cook. (I can't so they must)

They have to ultra clean.

They have to be into the house and yard. (I'm not so someone has to be)


It just goes on and on. I've always been like this. It's like I have some checklist in my head or something. Once I got married, the list became longer because I added all the things about him that I discovered I liked. LOL


Hamster, I also like nice well formed, big hands and feet. I like long, thin noses. I like very intense eyes and pretty intense personalities. I like well-trimmed face hair and dislike body hair. LOL

There's no explaining it. I just like what I like. It's amazing I ever found it.

I've always wondered, are these things innate? That is, are they instinctive? Is our preference for a type of voice, or the way a man moves through space when he walks, the way he carries himself, or the way he looks or acts something truly individual or is it some weird evolutionary thing going on?

Or somewhere down the line, maybe very early, did the idea that they're desirable traits somehow become part of our personalities? If so, I gotta wonder how that happened!

I think a lot of my stuff is from the "trial and error" school of compatibility. In some ways I'm tremendously more flexible about such things because I've learned what is truly important to me by having or not having them in a relationship.

And then there are the things that are so deeply rooted that they might as well be instinct. How the hell did that get there, and why? (sigh)

I think that in some ways I've become entirely more rigid as I age, because I know what I must have for it all to not be at least partially a sham. I do have to say, though, that it is a much smaller list of "importants" than when I was young. But the attributes on the list are way more important to me.

Now that I've said that, someone completely different will come along and I'll have no idea how to deal with them whatsoever. Story of my life. Sigh.

I admit I have made some mistakes in the past...emotional maturity is definitely not my strong point...(i am very childlike and do have issues in that regard)....I have no way of rationalizing what i have seen in some of the people I have dated...maybe there was something about ther "impossibility" that seemed alluring...Luckily, my current boyfriend is nothing like the thing that i described in my previous post..that was my attempt at sarcasm...but it did have it's basis in truth. I have fallen for a couple of as*holes in my time..and I can't even explain why.
The first guy that I ever fell in love with was a complete scumbag....but I was 22 and it was my first experience with "love" (but not my first relationship)....it hit me like a ton of bricks and literally haunted me for years...Then..years down the line I fell for another jerk but I think I saw something of the first as*hole in him as he had the same first name and was an Aquarius Drummer....I thought it was only a coincidence...but he also turned out to be an abrasive and impossible person..in fact I already knew him to BE an abrasive and impossible person..I thought there was something more to him than that...unfortunately I was wrong...no common sense..like Sugar Cane in Some Like It Hot


I can say now though that I have learned my lesson.

Your sock creatures are adoooooorable!! !!
Yeah, I guess we learn our lesson along the way...why does learning, any kind of learning, require some sort of pain or hard work?

No telling!!
Some sort of mind-blindness?

The creatures in the pic btw are Bitsy Bunny and Sockzilla#2..
Sockzilla now belongs to someone else, but Bitsy is part of my permenant menagerie. She is always falling for the evil sock minions and whatnot..though her one true love will always be Snakey...



Even though he eventually dumped her for a Junglarm....which is a toy Ikea snake....

Guys who like the same things as me! Definately. ^_^

ohmygod, WHERE did you get sockzilla? That's So Cute!! !!

sorry about bumping the thread off topic..I made him out of green socks...I have made quite a few Sockzillas

Kindness, intelligence, someone who has compassion for animals, especially cats. My ideal man would be someone like Roger Bannister who is a cat lover.

"Fixer-uppers" are incapable of being fixed, in my experience.

Protective nurturers.....older men. I have an Elektra syndrome. I love smart, thoughtful, ponderous, analytical men who are nice to me. I like a man with a big hairy chest and deep voice. Strong big hands. I like to sit in a man's lap too. I like beards.

Um.. What Nan said

As a man, I am curious how I stack up to some of these qualifiers. Of course, I'm not hitting on you at all, just curious as to how well I stand next to others in the scheme of things:

There's not one thing - it's a package. I guess the Must Haves to be remotely attractive are:

~a significant amount of raw intelligence ("educated" or "uneducated" really doesn't matter)

I've always been told by others how intelligent I am. I've even taken one of those silly online tests that measures your IQ, and the results it came back with was 138. It called me a "facts curator," and compared me to Bill Gates. My father is an intellectual, and so I assume I picked up his intelligence through genetics heritage, and creativity came from my mothers side.

~an overabundance of common sense, and control over it

Yep, got that too. I drive very safely, somewhat passively, and are very forgiving of other drivers.

~a kind and quiet nature

People would define me as very shy. I am introverted, and I care a great deal about others feelings. Empathic to an extreme almost, I find myself breaking down in tears whenever I hear very strong sad emotions in others voices or when they cry. I cannot stop my own reactions, I used to be able to filter them, but not anymore.

~a healthy sense of humor (any variety)

People would call my sense of humor weird. To this day, I can recall something funny that I read or saw or heard decades before, and laugh as loud and hard as if it were told anew. I love puns, wordplay, and Garfield.

~a sense of wonder that still is intact, even after all that

That's one thing I've always refused to give up, my sense of wonderment about the world. I still stare at awe at a beautiful sunset, get all warm and fuzzy looking upon a bright sunny day, sunrising over a grassy field. I love nature, and photography of natural objects, you should see my photo album. It has very few humans in it other than some relatives, mostly it has tons of natural wonders. Footprinted sand along a lonely beach, Salty crusted turned up mud down in the so called Devil's Golf Course in Death Valley, California, A winding forest path that seems lost in the mists of time....

~an innate understanding of duty and responsibility (including where it starts *and* ends)

I live on my own so this is a must for me to remain financially independent.

~drive - he must have something, anything, he's really passionate about. (No languishing, angsting couch potatos need apply. )

I am passionate about my spirituality, my creativity, artwork, music, photography, and my love for games, both in playing and in creating them. I have a variation of hexagonal chess I've invented, but have yet to publish because Chess isn't all that popular.

~the ability to be accepting of "ecentricities" in others

Being eccentric myself, I understand the mindset of those with such unique qualities.

~adaptability and versatility - a "survivor"

I've survived on my own, single, lonely, for the last 16 years out of high school. I haven't given up life yet, no matter what is thrown at me.

~above all, he must be comfortable in his own skin, ok with who and what he is.

I'm almost too comfortable with my own skin. The only things I don't like about myself, see below....


That being said, on the flip side, the immediate disqualifiers would be:

~loud, crude individuals

Fortunately, I hate those people with a passion as much as you do.

~cruel individuals - if they'll mistreat any living thing in any way, I don't want to know them

Whenever I find a moth, or a large spider, or any other miserable tiny creature in my house, I carefully scoop it up in my hand, gently carry it to the outside, and release it into the plants of the garden outside. But I kill ants, and wasps that invade. I guess I'm selective on what I let live.

~intolerant, controlling personalities

You will like me.... you find yourself admiring my wondeeeerfuuuul quaaalitieeesss..... theeeseee aren't the droooids you are looooking fooooor..... ~waves hand mysteriously~

~obesity - sorry, it's just a turnoff. I prefer my men without excessive fat on them.

Zing, 1000 points against me.

I used to be lean in High School and for half of my adult life. Then I drank beer. I got to 240 lbs being 6' tall. So far I've lost 20lbs and still going down. I still have a tummy and love handles, but there's no fat elsewhere, except [self censored data omitted]. I want to reach 190lbs, so my drivers license no longer lies.

~I've already been a mother: I don't want to be his. (Nor the reverse scenario)

My search is for someone for me to care for, not the other way around.

~guys who smell bad. Smelling like a male after hard physical work or just generically is fine. Actually, it's pretty nice. Not bathing for a month and smelling like a dirty body sprouting fungus is not fine.

I shower every day and wear that Axe deodorant stuff. I've noticed how women react to it, and it can be scary at times.

A few other ladies:

That's me in a nutshell. Of course, it's quite crammed in that nutshell, and gives me the heebie jeebies, so I try not to get locked up in nutshells very often.



I agree whole heartedly about the humor thing. I seek a female companion that loves my sense of humor. If she doesn't, then nothing else matters. My woman must love my sense of humor or it will never work out, without question. I drive people at work crazy sometimes with the different subjects I throw at them, to the point that I've stop trying to bother. I have always had creativity as a child growing up, and lately I've let it slip due to the pressures of the real world. However, recently I've invested in an electronic grand piano, because I'm going to teach myself to play. I also believe in smelling nice all the time. Of course, if I had a girlfriend, I'd shower twice a day instead of the regular once a day. Confidence is something I have to work on, mostly because I don't have a very high opinion of myself when it comes to women. I never feel like I'm good enough for them. My self esteem has been practically zero, but that's mostly due to my complete and utter failure to ever score a girlfriend my entire life. I am exceedingly patient, just sit in the drivers seat of my car if you need to know. I do consider myself a hard worker, and I would never be a player. Compassion towards all living things except ants and wasps. My voice probably isn't pleasing. You be the judge, I did post a video of myself on the video thread, so you have something to go on. As far as forearms and hands, same thing, view the video.

Also, I can cook, and I have to, living alone. I hate eating out unless its a nice restaurant, and I loath McDonald's food, unless its their bagel breakfasts, which aren't half bad. They aren't half good either, but I gotta eat when I'm rushing out the door to go to work don't I?

I am a meticulous neat freak, when I do clean my home up that is. I had a nervous break down nearly ten years back and have lost my immaculate style since then. So if something could repair the break in my mind and heart, I could return to that perfectionism I once had.

Three posts down is my youtube self video

Please tell me what you think my chances with women are, and please don't be afraid to reply to my comments. For some reason, I am getting the impression that women flee even from my posts here, since every thread I've replied to in this forum ended with my replies.