How to tell if you are leading a boy on?

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That?s why disallowing any contact between boys and girls makes things so very much simpler for parents and school.

Declare your intentions beforehand. Make sure they understand that you are NOT interested in them.
And, for that matter, don't be afraid to stop someone from going too far and tell them no.

Changing your behaviors around people causes problems as well. Do your thing, but under no circumstances should you do anything other than be open with your feelings on the situation. Do not hide it, do not hesitate to tell them to say no. Language works better than you'd think, and if they press on despite that, feel free to consider it sexual battery and handle it as you would any violent threat.

HisMom, I've got a daughter around the same age. And no, I'm not taking the Camille Paglia route, because I don't see that it's a healthy way for her to grow up.

She hasn't got AS, but that doesn't mean she understands boy culture. Like most girls that age, she's deeply naive. So we talk (even when it embarrasses her). And I tell her what's okay, and what's not okay, and what to do if a boy does xyz to her. And I let her know that these are things that do happen, though they won't necessarily happen to her, but that here are situations where they're more likely to occur. Parties with alcohol. Cars crammed full of boys in places where she can't get home easily. Houses where there aren't any parents around. But I absolutely do not make it her responsibility to hide, or to be paranoid about whether or not a boy will decide she's leading him on.

I also talk to her about how girls pressure each other to go farther, sexually, than they really want to. Daring each other and looking at it as a sort of growing-up ritual, who's more experienced. She's already had a good education in avoiding bullies, but it's a kind of bullying she's new to. Right now it's to do with confessing crushes. She already feels that something's wrong with the dynamic; it helps to name it.

But yeah, I'm not teaching her that she's to go around nervous about putting out "wrong signals".

My mom just had to have a talk with me about this at the age of 28. She told me what is not acceptable for a guy to do to a woman when he touches her. I decided to just have a rule about no man touches me and I don't care what kind of touch it is. Also no helping a guy out if I don't know him. No friendship if I don't know him.

Hi guys!

Reading through this, and I feel like I need to share something that happened to me a few years back.

I am not diagnosed with autism, but I can relate to many of you who have been diagnosed. One particular problem I have is when I talk to guys, I get really shy and come across as flirty. This has caused many awkward conversations to the point that I mostly avoid guys in general. I'm getting a lot of pressure, though, from family and friends to settle down and find a husband, but it's not that easy when I can't even talk to them like a normal person (gahh!). Uh...sorry, just needed to rant for a bit. lol

Anyway, one day at work a guy comes up to me and says that the only reason he comes to my store was because he was working up the nerve to ask me out. Aww, that's sweet, I thought. Normally, I'd just say I wasn't interested, but due to pressure from family to "meet someone", my own desire to find someone to connect with, and the fact that he did seem to be a nice guy, I agreed to meet him for coffee after my shift. I deliberately picked a public place because the women in my family have a history of naively trusting the wrong guy and getting into bad situations. I have been warned many times.

We met at a local coffee shop and talked for awhile, and decided to see a movie together. There was nothing in theaters we were both interested in, so he suggested that we go to his place...

*alarm bells*

Yeah...I ignored them. I did clarify that we were ONLY going to watch the movie. I just wanted to hang out. That was all I was interested in. Oh, yeah, sure, he said. Just the movie.

He wasn't interested in the movie.

You know, I was so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and attempting to Be Social with someone I just met. This is what normal people do, I told myself. There's no need to be afraid of this. I was cautious, of course, but I told myself to just go with it. So when he said, "why are you sitting way over there? Come sit next to me," I ignored the siren in my head and said, "Um...okay."

When I watch a movie, I get really into it, to the point of being really annoyed when someone is talking. He kept talking. I think he was trying to flirt some more, but I wasn't paying attention. It got to the point that I finally said, "I thought we were here to watch the movie?" That shut him up for about ten minutes. lol

I don't remember why, but we gave up on the movie about halfway through. I wanted to watch it, but I think he was bored. We ended up downstairs (where he had video games! I didn't say anything, though, 'cause I thought it would be weird...). We talked a bit more. We actually had a bit in common coming from a religious background (and the video games...which I still didn't mention). I was starting to feel a bit more comfortable. He wasn't, though, and went to the fridge for a beer. I declined his offer of one (alcohol makes me sleepy). We continued our conversation, but he started to get flirty again. Somehow, he managed to get his hand under my shirt. I said NO and pushed back and...he looked really confused. I suddenly realized that my weird brain had been sending him mixed signals. I decided it was time to leave. The not-stupid part of my brain had decided to drive separate (yay), so I headed for my car. He asked for a hug first, and I reluctantly accepted. "Can I kiss you?" he asked.

My First Kiss was at 19 when I was cornered in the back room by a co-worker who mistook my shyness for flirting. It wasn't a pleasant experience.

I really didn't know what to say to this guy. At least he asked me. "Uh...no. Sorry," I replied.

Then I walked to my car and drove home.

I thank God that he was actually a decent person and not someone who would take advantage of a naive young woman alone with him in his house.

And...this is longer than I expected. Sorry! Thanks for listening.