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AnnaStenning
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Joined: 21 Nov 2015
Age: 46
Posts: 1

21 Nov 2015, 6:01 pm

Hello
I'm recently diagnosed HFA, and I'd like to meet more like-minded (literally) folk IRL. I live in the UK.
Are there any good ways of doing this? It seems sort of weird to meet someone just because they share the same diagnosis, and I'm wondering if it could be any positive ways to do this (not run by a charity that is about 'supporting' aspies, but peer-support type thing).
Any suggestions welcomed :)
Anna



Purrbaby
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Joined: 18 Sep 2015
Posts: 49
Location: Brisbane Australia

25 Nov 2015, 3:19 pm

Hi Anna,

I would like to do the same thing, but I don't live in the UK :(
Do you have a local autism advocacy group? The one in my local area holds meet ups etc.
I am recently diagnosed too so haven't yet actually got around to attending any meetups, and I'm well aware that
people with ASD all have their own unique personalities, just like NTs, so there's no guarantee you'd get along with all (or any!) of them... but i like the idea of being able to socialise and meet people without so much pressure to maintain the 'social acceptance filters'. And i think us HFAs should stick together - even if you don't really enjoy socialising and friendships, it's good to have people that have your back!

Good luck,



DogwoodTree
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Joined: 5 Oct 2014
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 6

14 Dec 2015, 12:54 pm

I recently stumbled upon an idea that is now helping me with the socializing thing. I tried an aspie group, but there was such a huge range of functional levels even in a small group, I felt like I couldn't relax. I've tried meetups, and some of that was good--hiking in a group is a good way to "be alone together" because people are mostly walking along the trail and taking photos and talking with a friend if they came together. But the meetups are scheduled at a huge variety of times, and that makes it hard to turn it into a routine.

So a couple of months ago, I joined a community orchestra. I already knew how to play an instrument, and when we're there, we're all focused on the common goal of performing good music. I was also surprised to find that an awful lot of the people there have similar personality traits as mine, even though I don't know if any of them are dx'ed on the spectrum.

What I learned from this is:
1) I do best in groups with a task orientation rather than a focus on socializing, where we're working alongside each other and there's not a lot of time for small talk to happen
2) There are a lot groups out there that people with similar characteristics to mine tend to be drawn to, even though the groups don't exist "around" the AS dx
3) I really appreciate groups whose gatherings are scheduled for regular meetings, rather than impromptu get-togethers
4) Playing in the orchestra, specifically, helps me focus on my present moment performance of a task, which helps with mindfulness, which helps me connect with current reality instead of getting so deeply lost inside my own head


_________________
Asperger's score: (8/14) AS:147/200, NT:67/200; (3/15) AS:167/200, NT: 45/200; (8/15) AS: 148/200, NT: 52/200; (10/15) AS 160/200, NT: 45/200
RAADS-R: 167 (8/14); 174 (12/14); 205 (8/15); 204 (10/15) (avg ASD female: 165, avg NT female: 81)
AQ: (8/14) 45; (10/15) 45 (avg ASD female: 37, avg NT female: 23)


hiddenautistic
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Joined: 27 Aug 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 9

21 Jan 2016, 12:32 pm

Hi Anna,
I recently joined Toastmasters which is an international group. The meetings are regularly scheduled which is good for my need for predictability. And the environment is supportive and positive because it's all about helping each other practice and learn to speak in front of others. I hope someday to speak about my autism there and maybe I can even make a friend there someday. Just wanted to give you this as a possibility.

hiddenautistic



Jozie
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Joined: 4 Nov 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 98
Location: Australia

24 Jan 2016, 5:06 am

[quote="Purrbaby"]Hi Anna,

I would like to do the same thing, but I don't live in the UK :(
i like the idea of being able to socialise and meet people without so much pressure to maintain the 'social acceptance filters'. And i think us HFAs should stick together - even if you don't really enjoy socialising and friendships, it's good to have people that have your back!
I love everything you're saying here. I did go to one aspie meetup and it was pretty uncomfortable only 2 others showed up and we were all really different. One problem with these groups seems to be that everyone is very reticent about organising meetups (including me of course).
I'm in Australia too but in Wollongong which is, alas, nowhere near Brisbane.