I wish i was asexual.

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I have been sexualised since i was a child...i have been in non-stop relationships since my early teens. It is a form of brainwashing where one is led to believe that intimate relationships are the crux of my value as a human being...It is the only way I am able to have any friends that I am comfortable with...I wish I could be more neutral.

I've heard that once we hit menopause, that happens. But, we both have years to go before that!

All I can say is, if you want to make sex less of a focus point, then set boundaries as to sex. If you're in a relationship, try to have it less often (I know that's easier said than done, but a partner who loves you will acccomodate!) If you're not, wait as long as you can with a partner before doing it.

Poopy- it is very sad what they do to females. There have been many examples of women becomming sexualized to increase the sexual pool. THere are many forms- forced marriage, prostitution,e tc. Men's sexuality is a loaded gun.

I am sure women's sexuality is, too, so I don't mean to be one sided!

But if you keep having a lot of sex chances are you will get an STD and that could put an end to it. Or getting pregnant. That woud, too!

I wanted to cut back so the guy I dated- we had a scenerio where we would only do forplay. Yikes it was intense and hard, but it morphed into the most intense relationship I ever had.

You need a partner that does not fall for the idea that you have to have sex.

I do understand you may not feel that well about not being asexual, but let me tell you asexuality isn't that easy. I think I am it, and I constantly see everyone around me being interested in sex, which makes me feel odd and a loser. I know I can get a partner- it's just I don't need anything. Some things may seem to be a problem, but still, the opposite isn't that much fun either.

You could be less sexual, but I don't know how to do that, sorry. I wish I were more like you. You see? What you see as bad, and is a problem for you, seems ideal to me. It just differs so much.

I feel a similar way. Except for one person, people have only been interested in my company through being interested in me physically/romantically. This is so even when not providing them with sex. I had relationships for years with physical contact but no sex (because I was mostly asexual). However, this sexualisation you mention is why they initiated contact with me in the first place. Once the couple part's over, so is their bond with me. However, I do not see intimate relationships as the crux of my value as a human being; I'm just very perplexed that others give the impression that it is.

I can sympathize poopy.

numero uno: relationship with self.

numero due: others on your terms or mutual terms.

I actually very unsexual. I have "crushes" on other women, but it is usually a hero "worship thing where I only have crushes on non-related women that may have helped me majorly in anyway. I do not have crushes on all of the "heros", but the ones I do have crushes on are younger,or younger looking women. Thees crushes are child-like in nature because I do not have"sexually" feeling towards people, that is why I am asexual big-time, but more when I am with them I just want to hug and be cuddled like a child, hold hands, and nothing else. Ironically, I want to take care of them, even though with asperger's it is very difficult to take care of someone when I do not have the social-emotional relation connection, and it does not go well. The only way I consider myself a lesbian is because of the crushes are on women and not on men.I do not do well with men, I never even kissed my dad and can not even have a friendship with a man, no offense I am not a man hater, I just don't connect with men on any level.
Well, anyway, I am sorry I can not help you to learn how to become asexual. But I do want to clear up that it is not bad because I do not have to worry about the"drama" in relationships. The "drama" and avoiding it helps with not having any, though.

Maya

Unfortunately, there's no proven method of triggering asexuality that doesn't implicate immense brain damage, but you can circumvent your problems through standing up to people. For example, if you're facing coercion into sex and you have no idea of which route to take, default yourself to inventing an excuse. Or, as an even more effective antecedent measure, you could thoroughly analyze any and all potential relationship candidates to see if they're likely to take that course of action towards you! The big thing to remember is that YOU DO HAVE AUTHORITY IN ALL OF THIS - you just need to exert it.

Being asexual is easy... For me it was at least...

Recognizing, that there is types of attraction, helped me to understand my sexuality.

I desire to be close, as in cuddles, kissing etc... but i at times, am as platonic as just holding hands can be to much for my sensory abilities. It makes finding a partner hard, as i can be "hot/cold" my partners have said..with touch.

I was able to, with a lot of research, see that one can be Romantic to any gender, without desiring to be intimate.

For me, its a Hetero-romantic ( attraction to dating Men).
And the rare beyond rare Gyno-romantic ( attraction to women).

Then there is your libido. which for many Aces, is there and responds to things like sexual stimulating and images that seem erotic. to me, this is a physical only response, and most bodies react to sexual touch even if you are not sexually desiring it. ..

Then finally there is your Sensory stimulus... For me depending on the ability to enjoy sex, depends on my partner's ability as well. And personality. If he cares enough to ensure i am happy without sex being involved, then thats great! i hate the messy clean up and semen is gross on me/in me. But if sex is ultimately desired between me and my partner, and i trust in them well enough not to be sick/cheating. Then sex might happen.

As a whole, I never desired sex like most, nor did dating the normal way, interest me either. Men never looked at me when i was growing up, despite being Hetero-romantic. I simply repulsed anyone because i seemed just Non interested.

To end the post, I think Asexual, boils down to more then just if you had sex and liked it before and now you dont... Or you never masturbate and that is fine with you.. Or even as simple as, besides no medical issue causing it, you just dont desire it anymore.

It doesn't matter. I am asexual and all that you posted about describes me. Only when I became a financially independent adult was I able to embrace the fact that I am asexual. Before that time, everything you posted defined my life.

Asexual is good, in that you don't want what you can't have

Kind of takes the spark out of "life"


But I am 36 and that is old