troubles with breastfeeding

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my baby is 3 months old and ive decided to start weaning her off breastfeeding. im really struggling with feeling over touched all the time and its massively affecting my ability to spend time with friends, be nice to my partner, spend time with my cats, basically do anything that requires any kind of output from me. i feel really guilty that me being sensorially overloaded means taking her off my breastmilk basically but i dont know what else to do. anyone else had experiences with having AS and breastfeeding?

I didn't have problems related to touch, or anything that I believe was because of my autism, but I did find breastfeeding too difficult.

For me it was incredibly painful, I was stuck in hospital for five days and didn't get any support. I got to the point where I was crying at the thought of my little girl waking up and was becoming afraid of it. And that was just a couple of days in! But nobody should feel scared of their newborn baby being awake - I wanted nothing more than to interact with her and cuddle her, but I felt desperate for her just to lie in her crib and stay asleep because of how much pain breastfeeding was causing. Against everything I wanted, after just three days my husband encouraged me to move on to formula feeding, and honestly it was the best thing I could have done for her and me.

Suddenly, I was able to enjoy her more and bond with her better. I was so much happier, which is what she needed as well.

I am very impressed that you've managed to go for 3 months, especially with the extra issues that come with your AS, and I know I don't have advice from the same experience but I just wanted to tell you not to feel guilty. My girl absolutely thrived on formula - she's the healthiest child and did so well - and I was a million times better for not breastfeeding her. I know that sense of guilt, but breastfeeding shouldn't ruin other areas of your life. Being a parent is the most wonderful thing ever and you should be enjoying every minute, not struggling with the effects of breastfeeding when there is a perfectly valid alternative.

thanks so much for your kind words. ive been diagnosed with pnd and have an amazing therapist who specialises in AS and ADHD (having it herself). to be honest i have been dreading feeding her for weeks, so much so that its spiralled into me feeling like self harming to deal with the intensity of it. where i am in australia theres this huge pressure to breastfeed against all odds, and all the other forums ive looked on either people are sacrificing everything to breastfeed to the point of enduring massive pain, or saying its the best thing ever (which i havent been able to relate to at all). i already feel guilty that i dont feel like everyone says i should be feeling right now, and the idea of giving up breastfeeding her just feels like letting go of the one thing i know i can do that is *best* for her. both my therapist and GP have advised partial if not full weaning and told me not to feel guilty but its hard.

I tried breastfeeding with both of my kids, and failed both times. They both had trouble latching on, and would scream with frustration. I ended up supplementing so they wouldn't go hungry, and gave up completely after about a month. I didn't mind the physical sensation, which I found only mildly painful, but I did feel degraded by it. It made me feel like a cow, like a beast. It also made me feel like a slave, since it was a task no one could ever help me with, and it needed doing every few hours all day and night. After the body-sharing experience of pregnancy, I just wanted to belong to myself again, and not be someone's milk farm. I also didn't like the options of being locked away in my bedroom or pulling my boobs out in front of random people.

I tried to breastfeed all three of my kids and I quit producing breast milk despite the supplements and pumping. I never had enough in the first place but dried up within two or three weeks. I don't know if you feel comfortable saying this to the Plunkett nurses but what if you made it sound as if you couldn't help drying up? That might at least get them off your back. I hate to advocate lying but I understand your position and my kids used formula until we figured out how to make it with goats milk but with adding a few things (used a dietitian to create the formula). They did fine and I don't think they were worse off for not having breast milk. Your baby already had it for the most important. Please make sure to take care of yourself. Good luck .

I am a Certified Lactation Counselor. I also have Aspergers. I have been breastfeeding for 16 months now, and it has not been an easy journey at all. In the beginning, I had no idea I had Aspergers, so it was very hard to cope with the sensory side of breastfeeding. The best advice I can give, is that if you really want to breastfeed, then do so as often as possible. Nurse on demand. The more you nurse, the more desensitized your breasts will become, and the easier it will be for you. If you do decide to wean, do so slowly so as not to get mastitis or clogged ducts. As far as not being able to get anything done, that's going to happen with a newborn, whether bottle or breastfed. Good luck!

My youngest (of 4) is now 5, so I am looking back a ways now but the adjustment to having your first baby is HUGE. I spent the first 4 months or so after she was born feeling like I was underwater - voices sounded so far away and it was like I was just an observer in my own life. Breastfeeding was hellish for me. It was 9 months before I could nurse without excruciating pain. Call me stupidly stubborn
If I had been aware at the time that I am AS and was experiencing severe sensory overload I'm sure I would have cut myself some slack and laid down the breastfeeding in favour of all the other important stuff a mom has to do. I support your decision and it sounds like you are self-aware.
That said, subsequent babies did not seem nearly as difficult to breastfeed. Just knowing what to expect seemed to make the pain more bearable. I still experienced it as pain, but by my 4th I was able to actually lay down during feedings. If you haven't quit yet (and don't really want to) I would suggest reducing boob time as much as possible and supplement. The more they suck the worse it is and a baby can learn to be comforted in other ways.
Whatever the case, vive la sanity! I do look back on the baby years and almost break a cold sweat - could I have avoided that by avoiding breastfeeding? Maybe.

Just thought I'd give another side. I did not BF my first 2 so when the chance presented 15 yrs later I decided to try. He was born 8 weeks early and I had to pump for the first 3 months which was a killer. Despite all the pain(mastitis, yeast, vasospasms and the list goes on) I persevered due to the fact it was the time I bonded. Sounds weird I know, but had I not been breastfeeding I think our bond would have suffered. I had depression and felt so alone and distant that I believe I would have also pushed the baby away if he did not need me to eat. He ended up nursing over 4 yrs and I was sad when it ended but thankful it had gone on for so long. Nursing helped with meltdowns, crying, putting him to sleep quickly and many other aspects of parenting that I have an extremely difficult time handling. It almost kept the peace for the weeks on end when my DH traveled for work and I was dealing with everything on my own. It also provided much needed "vegging out" time because I was connecting with him physically and meeting his needs while also taking the time to kind of disconnect and calm myself down. Hard to explain but worked for us. Though I completely understand the feeling touched out, I certainly experienced that the whole time, the benefits I listed above certainly outweighed it.

Also, have you tried babywearing? That was a huge sanity savior for me! I have very little tolerance or patience and being able to throw him on my back to get things done(and shopping especially) was such a great tool. He still asks for up when he is tired, cranky or needing some cuddles. Works like a charm every single time.

Being a mom is challenging for everyone but also overwhelming in ways most cannot understand(including my DH!) for us on the spectrum that we need all the support and tools we can find. Whether you chose to wean or not just remember to take a breath and know you are doing great