aspie mtf

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Hi everyone! I've seen discussions on this topic on different fora as well as facebook but I haven't yet seen it here in an exclusively aspie forum. As of now I'm not formerly diagnosed and I think a large part of it is that I was assigned male at birth but exhibit aspegers/autism symptoms that fit a female profile much closer than a male one.
I'm 29 so when I was going to elementary school in the 90's research was not where it is now. I did however have motor skill deficits, general clumsiness, intense interests and what worried my mother most stimming behavior with sticks and ropes (that still continues today to a large extent).

I'm at a weird time in my life because though my transition has been pretty successful, I've been haunted by thoughts of detransition recently. I began hormone therapy back in 09 at age of 21/22 and underwent orchiectomy (castration) in summer 2015. I think that final procedure in a way freed me to view myself inwardly as truly androgynous, but at the same time I think embodied experiences of sex are very real and being male or female is not interchangeable.

I lived in a liberal large city but now live in a conservative smaller town. There are many influences that acted on me, so I'm trying to figure out exactly what I should do. I want to be true to myself but also to the wider community of which I am a part. Lately maybe because I pass to the extent I do, I worry that I am being deceptive.

I want to add, I wasn't exactly sure where to post this. Sided with women's over LGBT because I don't really participate in the LGBT community anymore and I mostly blend into wider society as a woman. That was the goal of transition for a long time. Again though, I'm at an odd phase in my life.