Empathy
Veteran
Joined: 30 Aug 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,548
Location: Sovereign Nation & Commonwealth
Seems like the vast majority of bras in the stores where I shop now are padded. Who thinks everyone wishes they had larger boobs? I certainly don't. I go for a compressing too-small sports bra and am comfortable everywhere I go in it. I would love to size down a cup at least or even two. Small boobs rock.
About 10 years ago I didn't wear a bra either... I couldn't find any the right style or material... now there's a lot much more choice. Even at Walmart. I still often don't wear one because I wear layers anyway, a dress and a shirt over that and leggings under the dress. Sometimes a pretty tanktop over the shirt.
And being overweight is the only reason I even have boobs or a butt. If I was a normal weight I'd be straight as a ruler; it's just the way I'm built.
I hate having breasts. I hate having a vagina. I hate not being sexless.
I refused to wear a bra until I was 13. I couldn't wear padded bras, and I still can't. It felt like wires and ropes were tied around my entire body, constantly, when I wore bras. The only reason I began wearing bras, at 13, was so no one could see my nipples through my shirt. I wore training bras for years, loathing 'real' bras. Despite being small-chested, I even ordered a chest-binder marketed towards transgender men when I was 15, despite my not being transgender, just to compact, flatten, and hide my breasts because they made me so uncomfortable.
Sensory issues and breasts aren't a good combination. Even with breasts on the small-side, I've seriously considered getting a breast reduction for the past 5 years. It feels disgustingly uncomfortable to have lobs of meaty flesh on my chest, protruding. I hate it. The mere thought of breasts often causes me to squirm out of discomfort.
You'd probably be interested in bralettes or a binder. At this point, bralettes are all I can really wear. Absolutely no padding or wiring, just elastic and, sometimes, lace. They're extremely comfortable and cause minimal sensory issues for me. For women with breasts on the larger side, it can be difficult to find bralettes that can support their chest well, but they do exist. I still go braless quite often, but I'm usually too self-conscious to do that.
If your issues with having breasts reach the point where you cannot stand them any longer, I don't think there would be anything wrong with getting a breast reduction. Do anything and everything you can to postpone that potential need, as surgery on the breasts can be extremely expensive and not covered by health insurance, and can lead to a myriad of health complications. If you do decide to get a breast reduction, good luck! I wish we could all exist comfortably.
_________________
crisscrossed with axes and thresholds, with latitudes and longitudes and geodesic lines, traversed by gradients marking the transitions and the becomings.
Bras? Don't get me started. Sports bras are alright, but I prefer to save them for when I need them (working out) - any others that I have bought have left me mainly disappointed. If anyone has a recommendation for bras for cup sizes D and up, that do not have lots of padding, and are form-fitting and comfy... please let me know?
Let me know if you find any. I'm also 34D (34DD during my period), and it's so hard to find the right bra. I cannot wear a wired bra, and even the wirefree ones never fit right. https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/wiki/shallow sums it up perfectly. Except I'm really weird about how clothes fit, so of course, I have even more problems.
* I don't like my breasts to touch (no cleavage for me)
* I have a rib flare, thanks to a lifetime of asthma, so the elastic tends to bunch under my breasts and irritate my skin.
* I don't like being looked at. So I don't want anything that makes my boobs like any bigger than they already do. Also, I don't EVER want my nipples to show. That's a sure way to get looked at.
_________________
People are always trying to make me have fun. What if I don't like their fun? I'll make my own fun.
Finding the right bra size is paramount, however there is no standard bra sizing system so they vary between brands and occasionally even between models.
Me personally, I range between a 36/14G-I. I really like fayreform bras. They work for me. Because I am larger, it is harder to find bras in my size. And when I do, they are expensive.
It is best to go to a bra store as opposed to a general department store. Even then, trust your intuition. If you feel the bra is too loose or tight tight - say so. You should be able to get two fingers under the straps, but not much more. It should do up on the third set of hooks, but I often find that the second set is not so irritating on my skin. Don't shop when you are having a bad day.
One of the best sites I have seen for evaluating your boobs and deciding what sort of bra you need is https://www.herroom.com/bra-fitting-center,954,30.html There is more to bras that just cup size and band size.
If you do like compression type bras - there are a number of sports bras that are good for this. They have their own sizings.
BirdInFlight
Veteran
Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?
I agree there is more to bra size than just cup size and band size.
For example, I find that many bras have the cups too far apart for me. Like, the bra is actually made for someone whose boobs are further apart than mine are but the manufacturer just "scaled down" the cup size and band size but left the cups in the same position in the structure of the bra.
I have a very small ribcage and so, proportionately, my boobs are seemingly closer together than other women. I don't mean they are squished or I'm all cleavage -- actually I'm not, lol. They are still separate. They just are in places on my chest that are proportionally nearer to each other than a woman who has a larger skeleton and therefore everything else on her is in different relative dimensions.
The only bra I ever found that seemed made for the "placement" of my boobs was something by Gilligan & O'Malley that Target used to sell about fifteen years ago. They were perfection for all my needs and wants in a bra. No sooner had I bought the few they had in my size, than I went back for more and they had ended that line!! !! !!
I have actually found them being sold on e-bay -- not used, new! There are e-bayers out there who apparently buy up tons of unsold or "seconded" lines of clothing that never sold or got pulled at the end of a season, and would end up in outlet stores or something.
So I bought every one of those that I could find, to "stock up" on the only bra that has ever really fit me yet was a reasonable, ordinary price.
I've now worn them all out. I'm stuck wearing crap that doesn't fit. I can't afford to shop from one of those fancy places that actually might have something that's right for me.
You didn't mention trying a band to flatten them, hold them firmly against the body (if physically possible based on cup size). I don't recall being as uncomfortable with my breasts as you write, but I wasn't pleased with them. Now approaching my 50s, I kind of like them. I am glad you are seeking advice and making careful consideration of a major procedure. Wishing you well as you consider what will work for you.
After years of struggling to find a comfortable bra with wire and tight bands I now only wear tank tops with an included shelf bra. It does help that I lost lots of weight and they are much smaller but I was far too concerned previously about trying to make them defy gravity. Having them smaller is a good enough reason to eat well and would be a much better option than surgery and have many many other good effects on your life. Stop eating processed food and everything will be better in your life.
_________________
Maybe if I learn enough languages I will understand humans one day.
Cavycat
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 12 Jan 2019
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 52
Location: Long Island, NY
I need a bra for comfort. I'm a 34/36DD in US sizing, so my back hurts if I don't. I've needed one since I was 7 or 8 due to Risperidol. I wish I was more androgynous looking because I'm straight as a stick except for my bust.
I prefer wired bras because of the support. I just recently got properly sized by my aunt, and wore improper fitting wireless bras to the point of breast tissue crushing for more than a decade. I prefer t-shirt bras with full coverage, and light padding (enough to cover nipples, not enough to push up). Why are push-up bras made in a cup size larger than a C?
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,814
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I have about a 32B chest and even I can't go out without a bra. The nipples are the issue, if I had no nipples i'd never wear a bra. I only *ever* wear a bra if I have to leave the house. My boyfriend asked me to go to the shop with him the other day and it was dark out, I thought I could get away with going without a bra on but I caved just as I was about to get out the door and ran back to put a bra on. It's not that I care for social norms, it's purely that I don't want the attention that having nipples on show under a top would bring, especially in the area that I live. The people aren't known for their first-world etiquette.