Mothers with ASD, how do you deal with NT "mom groups"

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I'm just curious how you deal with those groups of NT moms at your childrens school/events. They seem as if they would be trecherous for someone on the spectrum.

Same way as I deal with any other group of NTs. I show up, I am polite and do everything that's expected of me socially, but I don't really chat unless they start it, and I don't associate with anyone outside of these groups. Basically, I greet people with a smile and a bit of small talk, if required, then I take my seat and mind my own business. I'm not sure what you mean by treacherous, though.

When my son was very young I used to take him to playgroup. I would say hello to the other parents if they spoke to me, but then mostly sit apart from them or sometimes join in with the children playing so I could avoid talking to the adults. I worked as a part-time teaching assistant at my son's primary school for a couple of years which meant I could often avoid the other mums in the playground, because I would usually arrive at school early and leave after most of the kids had gone home at the end of the day (dealing with the staff at the school was another matter entirely, of course!). I'd find an excuse to go in early or pop in at the end of the school day even on days when I wasn't working.

I wasn't very good at the whole 'being a mum' thing as far as the social side of it went, which can't have been very helpful for my son as he must have missed out on a lot of things that other kids got to do. It certainly wouldn't have set a good example to him regarding how to behave in situation involving other people!

Things became easier as he got older, and his step-father has been a great help to both my son and me when it comes to this stuff. My son ended up joining Air Cadets, which made up ten-fold for my inadequacies as a parent when he was younger. He's now almost 21 years old and doing things I'd never have dreamed of being able to do myself

Avoid, avoid, and avoid again. Most mom groups are looking for an excuse to be social for socialalizing itself. Kids can make friends without it being a family event.

I would echo what @emilyjh75 said, I also turn up, smile and act as expected. The biggest issue by far is the sensory overload from masses of loud children. I've interacted with NT mums (and dads) in schools, nursery etc. They are all fine, they don't seem to mind if I talk to them or if I isolate myself nicely in a corner. If they have young children then they generally have enough to worry about...

I was just curious. I do fine with people one on one but groups of multiple people trying to talk with me when I am trying to watch a child is difficult and I tend to miss certain non verbal dialogue that my sister picks up on (though can detect other things she can't) and while most people seem to like me, my social short comings can still lead to difficulties when I do not meet expectations as far as social abilities go.

Oh no!! !!

I live in snobville.

Okay, not all moms are treacherous, but I understand what you mean.

My mom always found the PTA moms to be snobs. The PTA moms would hog up all the volunteer opportunities and then whine about how they had to do everything. My mom always offered to help but they always blew her off. These types of moms were band moms, science research moms, and JROTC moms.

My mom's attempts at setting up playdates when my siblings and I were little ended in complete failure most of the time. We rarely got a second playdate with anyone. Hell, it was a miracle if we got one playdate with another kid. People thought we were weird and had nothing to offer socially.

Hmm, I don't deal with NT Mom Groups. My son is now six but when he was a baby I tried my hardest to interact with the other mothers at Gymboree, Kindermusik and other events. I never found one mom I clicked with. I would think I was having a good conversation and then they would go off and I would never talk to them again. It never worked for me. So now, I do not go to Mom groups of any kind and if I do I do not interact. Most of them are not even interested in the things I want to talk about and the rest just want to talk about stuff that I am totally NOT interested in. I get along better with guys.