Was diagnosis a life changer?

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Yes, finding people I can relate to online would be good. But it’s a pretty limited life.

I have found people who are kind to me.

Not enough. Not nearly. I got this far only to find that what I get is the kindness of strangers and the companionship of text on a computer screen?

There are two people I’ve known for decades who were diagnosed late in life. Both had much more access to resources than I do and took advantage of them. They have both given up. One will only communicate with people in a limited way online. The other has isolated even more. And they have family and friends who are loving and supportive.

I have met autistic people who are doing much well. They also have family and friends around them. I don’t.

I know people who are kind, supportive, concerned. They like me, admire me. But it is kindness and concern for someone “over there”. My “friends” are people I see 3 or 4 times a year - when I seek them out. In early November I’ve had them say “Family season, see you in January. “

My children won’t acknowledge me; no communication at all for six years. One of them is certainly trapped inside this autism as well. And trapped inside a house in a controlling relationship with her father who has made it illegal for me to contact her.

My 90 year old mother still describes me as the kind of child only a mother could love. My siblings are happy to tell a therapist what is wrong with me but other than that don’t want me in their lives. I am smart, resilient, creative, curious and I don’t give up. I am also honest and rarely purposefully unkind. But my children think I lied and did things just to hurt them every day of their lives.

Not. Nearly. Enough.

For our generation, online communication seems fake or "communication lite". True as that may be there are real people behind the text. It has advantages for autistic people. It allows you to reply at the time of you please. In person conversations often require immediate answers. Autistic people often have issues with both reading other peoples nonverbal communication and expressing emotions in a typical way. This is a major cause of the communication problems we have and causes others to misinterpret our intent. Online this goes away. And there are tools like emojis and expressions like (LOL) for laughing out loud to help us express emotions.

Wrong planet and knowledge about autism cannot perform miracles like making your family like you or undoing toxic history. It can make the rest of your life better or less bad.

Do not be afraid to ask "embarrassing" questions that you think might make you look stupid.

I was diagnosed at 3 years old.

What could have changed----was that I would have been institutionalized had the doctor's recommendations been followed. A change of venue, so to speak LOL

Fortunately, that didn't happen.

I'm 60 and was diagnosed a few week's ago.
During the assessment, I was overwhelmed by a tsunami of emotion and was sent home from work. However, when I got the diagnosis, it came as a huge relief. I needed to know why. I'd always believed there was something wrong with my brain.
My employer has been great, re employing me my contract had come to an end. Also, making sure I have clear instructions etc.
I do feel sadness and regret though, at all the times I've made bad decisions. I have been really vulnerable, people have abused me for sure, and both my younger children witnessed me being hurt, physically and emotionally.
I didn't know how to hug my children when they were younger, so it must have very hard for them. I was hearing voices too, with no one else knowing.
I'm so lucky, they understand me better now they know I'm on the spectrum, and they're so kind to me. I can give and receive hugs now, so I can feel closer to my grandchildren.
I'm more positive about the future. Cross that I can't retire for another 5.5 years.
We can't change the past, but I'm determined to live my life to the full from now on.

"I was hearing voices too, with no one else knowing."

This is autistic? Is there a resource where I can learn about it?

Hi
My understanding about being on the spectrum is that, there are lots of similarities between the traits of ASD and Schizophrenia. But equally, you could have 'shades of Bipolar', if you get what I mean. I think it might depend on your personality.
I heard voices for several years. I was really 'away with the fairies'.I could have easily been diagnosed with Schizophrenia at that time.
I think there's a section on this somewhere on the website.
Counselling eventually helped me, and gradually the voices subsided.
You'll find relevant stuff online if you just type in 'Schizophrenia and Autism'.

I got mine at 29. I'm 33 now and will be 34 in November. But I can't give an overall, universal answer as to whether it's made my life better or easier. It has depended on situation and context. I'll give a couple of examples, one good and one bad.

In one of my jobs in 2015, disclosure helped a great deal, and I received some extra support and accommodations before transferring to another line of work when I moved. I left that job on good terms. However, in another recent job (2017), disclosure actually was a huge problem and indirectly led to me getting fired. Long story on that one that I don't need to get into here.

Still have lots of questions that I can't get black-and-white answers to, like how different I really am compared to NTs, or how such things can be measured (beyond the vague abstract categories of moderate, mild, etc.). It's not like ASD can be confirmed in the brain or through blood test or something concrete like that. Twenty years ago, I was just viewed as shy, nerdy, and eccentric, and I never needed academic accommodations in school (I did very well academically). It wasn't until I hit adulthood, and had all these weird and odd problems in the workplace and with making or maintaining friendships, responding slowly or badly to social cues, having trouble with some humor and sarcasm, not initiating conversations etc. -- that's what led me to speculate for a few years before finally seeking (and confirming) diagnosis.

So yeah, life changing, but I don't know really what to make of it now, or what I should do with it in the future. It still boggles my mind that nowadays, the spectrum is so broad that even people like me fit on it, and historical figures that I've related to a lot -- like Emily Bronte, especially -- are speculated to have had this 'condition' or 'disorder,' as it's usually labeled.

I guess I'll just keep living my tiny life and see where it leads. I only disclose now if I have a public meltdown that needs explanation, or I cannot figure out or infer something that NT people and their often very top-down ways of thinking believe should be obvious.

Changed my life in a big way. I now accept my limitations and have more realistic goals for myself and having achieved certain things, like a bachelor's degree, seems all the better with my struggles. Same with employment.

In the UK where I live, in a survey of 2000 Autistic adults conducted by the 'National Autistic Society' - 70% were unemployed and only 15% in full-time work. I work part-time, about two-thirds of full-time hours. And I'm proud of that considering I have Autism and a number of other issues/disorders/illnesses.

Coming out as Autistic at my current workplace has helped a lot with social stuff and people are more tolerant and less bullying. I guess it could work the other way though as someone else mentioned in this thread....

I’m not sure yet, I was just recently diagnosed at 39. I felt so much relief the moment I heard the words, then some fear welled up that people would look at me differently or reject me if I shared this diagnosis (that will take some getting used to). Mostly I feel vaguely numb at the moment, which is my usual feeling if I’m overwhelmed (I don’t go into panic mode unless there’s a perceived immediate threat). I love knowing there’s a reason I’m weird but I’m sad thinking about how I might not ever “get” some things. Like I might just always be terrible in groups, never be good at friendships, and keep choking on those feet in my mouth. I think I’ve got a lot of self reflection and acceptance to do before I’ll truly know how much this diagnosis has changed my life.
I’m curious how long it took other people to feel settled with themselves after being diagnosed as an adult.

Wow

I am 64 and just figured out I was aspie about a year ago. Suddenly all the things that never made sense in my life, made sense. All my weird stuff "fits" into this diagnosis and, like the OP, I have felt tremendous relief. I also found great comfort in participating in the forum and "finding" people who were similar to me.

I wanted to add that I told my parents this weekend about just being diagnosed and they were not surprised. I had been afraid they’d look at me differently so I wanted to tell them in person while we together and after some questions and their agreement that it made total sense based on my behavior growing up we had a totally usual weekend together. So no outward major life changes yet, just my continued re-assessment of the past and how I fit into the now and how I want my future to look (my general asd internal musings).

I’ve been diagnosed as HFA since I was very little and while I had my ups and downs growing up my life has gotten better as I’ve gotten into my 20s and out of middle and high school. Now I just view myself as average.

I'm coming very late to the thread, and I really hope I'm not breaking any rules for responding to this.

I was diagnosed at 24-ish but didn't come to terms with it until maybe 2016. It was rough in the beginning for me, because I wasn't actively looking for a diagnosis, I had joined this forum before, because I could recognise that some things where not tip top shape with me, but I was no where ready to have my professor ask me to his office and have a long chat with me that ended with, "I think you have Asperger's Syndrome".

Looking back, it was a blessing, it has helped me tremendously to understand myself better and to finally be able to discard that label of being "spoilt" or "bratty" or just "not good enough".

It has allowed me to give myself a break and to know where to look for resources specifically.

And by using "I'm a person that usually....." to explain myself to my mother and close family members and friends, it has helped in our relationships as well.

Finally, inadvertently, my professor set out in motion something that I couldn't have imagined at the time, and now I'm actually working with kids with ASD and feeling for the first time in a looong time, that I'm actually contributing to the world.

So, yeah, definitely a life changer.

Honestly, it didn't change my life in the slightest. I don't really care that I have Asperger's; it's just another interesting facet to my life.

I feel exactly like Blazingstar because everything "made sense" upon my diagnosis. Prior to diagnosis I just assumed I was a weird kid or that I was a loser for never fitting in. Now that I see the patterns I have more compassion for my younger self and I'm able to take care of my 'inner child', so to speak. This forum has also been extremely helpful because I love knowing that I'm not alone.

I did go through a period of subtle anger after my diagnosis, because I was diagnosed Level 2 Requiring Substantial Support, but I got none throughout my life. I still have none. It was hard to believe that I survived all those years of school and Uni and employment, or life in general, without teachers or associates or my family identifying my special needs.