Is anyone else here terrified of other women?

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my advice is for you to try and find a few genuine good nature'ed kind heart'ed friends
and try your best to maintain a good relationship with them

i am afraid we live in a complex competitive world
one that i personally feel has lost its way with regards to spiritual direction

the values in life are based around competition
with the ultimate goal of getting us all to be good old consumers

peace and love is bad for business
spirituality sharing accepting your lot in life
all bad for business, people when they are content with their lot
don't need the products they have to sell us

you can however choose not to take any notice of the rat race
and learn to be happy regardless as to what a holes all the people are around you are being

up to you
just try not to let the nasty folk get to you

know that you aren't doing anything wrong
so you don't deserve to be mistreated

and always remember
that a persons words often are a reflection of their own heart
rather than an accurate description of what they are venting their hate towards

well at least most the time
ocasionally someone pops their head out of a hole and
blows everyone away by saying something really cool

but those moments are few and far between in my experience
so just do your best
be yourself
share your love
try your best to be happy or at the very least content

all the best

Yes I don't get along with women. However when I worked with preschool they were a few really cool girls I met there. I was bullied by the other workers but a handful of women were nice to me. Even though those few were kind to me, I still suspect them for ulterior motives.

I find many other women very kind and understanding. I really like being in women only groups. I am not very good at maintaining friendships though as I seek interaction much less frequently than NT women seem to like.

There are small minded people of both sexes who do not seem to handle differences in other people very well but I find women in general much more ready to be kind thean men. Maybe this is an age thing though, 'teenage brain' definately has a tendency to be more hostile to differences.

I find them to either be in a clique or two faced and bitchy (not all just some)

Also as a biological born feminine women, i also find that alot of women today, try to act like men, being more masculine or alpha or try to "man up"

To me that's intimidating personally.

Only good thing i can say about recent years, is that women are encouraged to not be so self conscious, judge themselves or compare themselves to other women and to not get insecure or jealous when a man doesn't pay attention to you.

It's tough. I've had some good friendships with women, some less so. Remember, if someone isn't nice to you, that's their insecurity and their problem. Don't tear yourself down or internalize any bullying.

I think it's harder for women on the spectrum because we know we're different and that's hard. On top of that we have to deal with other pressures in life, too.

I always had to work harder to make friends. I was bullied a lot throughout my childhood, but there were a few summers and school years that were easier for me. Animals are good companions. Hobbies help.

There are nice, accepting people out there, you just have to find them. I hope the world becomes more attuned to autism and it's not such a "mystery" to everyone. The right people will accept you.

After doing a lot of emotional intelligence work, up until ~40yo, I wanting nothing to do with women. They have hurt me emotionally as no man, platonic or in a relationship, ever has- mostly with emotional betrayal and purposely ostracizing me (preteen on). Post-college, I was friends with women by way of being friends with their partner.

NT women eat their own already, and those with fragile self-esteems try to alleviate those feelings by targeting anyone they perceive as an outsider/different and treating them horridly.

Here's a reason I realized women had problems with me but couldn't figure out: jealousy. I conceptually get jealousy, but don't experience it, really. (I don't get revenge either.)

Whale_Tuune- you are very pretty. [Seriously. You have excellent bone structure (Aspie interest) and good hair.] Women are jealous of women prettier than them, *especially ones that they notice get attention from men*. I'm not vain and am not jealous, so I couldn't even perceive that jealousy was the cause of their nastiness. It has nothing to do with you personally (they're this way with any 'threat'). iow- it's not you; it's them.

This is important: do not change yourself in attempt to appease their fragile ego, thinking they will be better to you. Kissing their ass will only make them worse. Instead, "Gray rock" them (basically be so boring and unresponsive they don't get their fix from you and move on) and distance yourself.

I seem to feel more comfortable around guys. I'm not saying I don't get along with other women, but I think I'm more sensitive if a woman judges me or doesnt like me than what I am if a guy judges or doesn't like me. Maybe I see other women my age as a threat. At work I'm one of two females, and the other female is near retirement age and I don't see her as a threat. But when she retires I'm hoping they will get another guy in her place because I kind of want to be the only female there. The only thing about guys is they're not so good at knowing what to do when you're crying like women are. They stand there awkwardly or even edge away, while women make a fuss over you and cuddle you.

I don't tend to get on with many NT women no. I wouldn't say I'm terrified I'd say I just don't really enjoy their company and don't find them that nice. I have met some lovely NT women of course but to be friends with they're not really people who I'd hang out with.

When it comes to other autistic women I've always gotten on amazingly with them, they are usually really fun interesting girls to be around who just get you and don't do the judgy behaviour. They don't get mad at you either if you haven't spoken for a few months, the friendship just picks up where it left off.

I don't really think I've ever had a bad experience with an autistic girl to be honest, not that I can remember anyway. NT girls are another story though, they are very jealous and condescending. I've tried many, many times to gently mesh with them in WhatsApp groups and they just behave like savages to be honest.

I think a lot of autistic girls don't get on with girls in general because they're expecting that NT behaviour but nah, find a nice autistic girl they're usually pretty chill and kind of similar to guys in my experience.

Oh I am so sorry you are learning this, like a LOT of Aspie women, you are realizing that women are hard to get along with. Mostly bc women are b*****s. Sorry, they kinda are!
I always enjoyed hanging w the guys more, which works until of course one realizes how dangerous they can be! As I got older alcohol became my social lubricant & I "masked" really well, & had a few friends when younger & several "acquaintances" now that I'm older.
I've gotten used to feeling like the odd gal out in my head but now that I'm just diagnosed I fantasize about some post-covid convention here in Vegas where I walk into the room and all these nice gals of all ages want to be friends!
Sounds goofy I know, too bad! LOL!
We're here for you, post your questions- I'll be your Aspie Grammy Diane!

I have the same experience as you. The only women who haven’t harmed (emotionally and physically) me are my fellow Aspies, other neurodivergent women, and tomboys.

One of my female best friends is a bodybuilder and the other is a stud lesbian. I’ve found that non-stereotypical women who are into male dominated things as well as women in the LGBTQ+ community are more accepting and loving towards me

I would also like to bring up race and culture. I’m a young (30) black woman and I’ve found that other black ppl take my autistic traits rather defensively and many times it has resulted in them yelling at me or beating me up, both male and female.

My stoic facial expression makes them think I’m “mean mugging” which apparently means that I want to fight them? And asking for clarification when I don’t understand their slang/idioms means I’m being passive aggressive or a smart ass

I’ve learned to avoid most women, most BIPOC or any “urban” type person if you know what I mean. No eye contact, no sitting next to them at a restaurant bar or public transit and would ask to be transferred to a different department if there was too many near me. Sounds terrible but I’m sick of constantly being a victim of aggression just for being myself

While I love all of the same things as most women do I don’t have many friends to talk to. I do go out to bars where I have some regulars I talk to but besides my boyfriend I don’t really have anyone to talk to.

Am only afraid of professional women in positions of control . Otherwise my day to day interactions are generally good . But have had women whom befriended me to only take advantage of me . Some to exceedingly great extremes. These women I seem to classify under the heading of psychopathic. Am usually not that good at descending what their intentions are . Until too late. This causes me to be less trusting of both men and women as
I have been seriously disadvantaged by both genders . Men have tended towards much more physically cruel to me.
Am quite astute in understanding and can be in conversation when necessary. Am always willing to repay kindness with kindness. But now with much reserve.

One situation I do find terrifying is when I come out to a straight woman and the response is "Oh, well don't have a crush on me, I'm straight". Then when I reply "Oh I don't" I am met with "Well why not? Are you saying I'm not pretty?"

Abort mission.

I've been trying to think of ways that I can respond to this question without causing upset. "Nah, I wouldn't come on to you, I respect that you're straight" could be an option, but it also implies that I would if that weren't the case - which could cause some discomfort. "You're more like a sister to me" is also an option, but could be taken as saying I find them ugly. "Eh, you're not my type anyway, I prefer women who (feature they don't have)" might work but is it rude? "How about I act as your wingwoman instead?" seems promising but would only work if they're single. "I actually like someone else" maybe? "You're not my type but you're conventionally attractive" seems to be the best bet. Change the subject to bees? I don't know.

Not all straight women are like this of course. I remember being friends with a straight woman and she remarked "I bet you get the whole why don't you have a crush on me? Are you saying I'm ugly? thing a lot. Don't worry, I'm not gonna do that". I appreciated that moment.