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autisticstar
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19 Sep 2007, 12:51 pm

I am starting to feel really discouraged. I am 37 years old and I have never been married before and have had a series of relationships that went straight down the toilet. I haven't dated anyone in two years. It seems like all of the men I have met are either gay, married, or just way too young for me. I do go out and do things that interest me but nothing I have tried has worked. I just feel like giving up on the idea that there is some "Mr. Right" out there for me. I tried posting a profile on wrong planet and I got one response from a man who lives on the other side of the country. We e-mailed and talked on the phone for about two months and then all of a sudden he stopped returning my calls and e-mails. I guess it wasn't too practical since it was extremely long distance. I'm curious to know if there is anyone here who found a husband or serious relationship with a man after the age of 35. Any advice for dating over the age of 35?



Ticker
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19 Sep 2007, 1:04 pm

Sorry no advice here. I'm 38 and haven't dated in 4 years. Everyone I've dated has been abusive or a loser. I no longer seek anyone since the last night person I pursued just played games with me, leading me on then not returning calls. I attract waiters in local restaurants for some reason and the weirdo at my church, but they are all 15 years or more younger than me.



Prof_Pretorius
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19 Sep 2007, 2:01 pm

Weeeeeeelllll, I was 33 when I got married for the once and only time. That was 17 years ago. Looking back, it was a minor miracle that we met and kept dating. I do know that some men (NT's) are suspicious that a woman in her late thirties is only looking for a man so she can have children. These blokes are all divorced with support payments from their 1st (or 2nd) marriage. AND they aren't about to do that again...

By the by, my wife and I met in Church!! So it's true that if you get out and about where there are men who share your interests, you might meet a nice one.


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criss
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19 Sep 2007, 2:58 pm

Hi Autisticstar star, I feel very much the same as you. I am a 41 year old man and when I parted from the mother of my little boy 7 years ago have found it very difficult to meet women. i think this is because I am rather fussy though as I have come into lots of contact with women through church and recovery groups.

It's only been weeks since my diagnoses and subsequently I am for the 1st time meeting people in the spectrum and I do find the women with AS kind hearted and gentle and these qualities above all else I value the most. So as much as I am very happy in myself being single, I feel it most likely that I would find my 'soul mate' from someone within the spectrum.

Much peace to you autisticstar


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20 Sep 2007, 11:58 am

Dating? What's that? :lol:

Seriously...I hated it when I was younger and now at 40 I don't really have a clue how to go about it again...and I don't know that I really care to.


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pandabear
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22 Sep 2007, 10:17 am

My mother married my father when she was 39 and he was 49. I was born in 1959, when she was 45. This was the first and only marriage for both. I think that advanced ages for first marriages are a lot less uncommon these days. And, especially with the divorce rate being what it is today, there are a lot more people in your age category who would be available.

My wife's sister is 39. She married a man at least five years younger last year. She seems to have cancer, and will probably not succeed in having a family.

It is just a matter of making up your mind as to exactly what you want to do, and then going ahead and doing it. :D



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22 Sep 2007, 4:41 pm

I'm sure it possible; my aunt had a serious relationship at the age of 58. Age is a misconception; I hope it goes well for you.


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laplantain
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03 Oct 2007, 1:18 am

I met my husband when I was 35 and he was 45, and we got married like 3 yrs later. We had a child immediately.
It's been a long, long road for us. We are both seriously late bloomers, so we started very, very late.

My advice to you would be:
1) Play tennis! If you are an aspie, it is a great way to meet people and have an immediate connection. It's a very, very social sport, especially if you play doubles. When I met my husband, I was dating a few guys I had met through tennis at the same time.
2) Do not waste time with wishy-washy relationships that aren't working for YOU. When I hit 35, I was like on a mission. I decided to get rid of any guy that had had 3 strikes against him. I actually broke up with my husband a few times, but each time he kept coming back new and improved. The last time I broke up with him, he came over with an engagement ring, begging me to take him back!



BazzaMcKenzie
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03 Oct 2007, 6:48 pm

laplantain wrote:
1) Play tennis! If you are an aspie, it is a great way to meet people and have an immediate connection. It's a very, very social sport,

no, take up shotgun shooting (skeet or sporting clays). Its very social and you will meet a lot of guys (hardly any female competition) :D



Blue
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04 Oct 2007, 4:12 am

I often wonder about the same thing.
I'm nearly 35 and I've been single for 7yrs.
I've just come to the conclusion that I'll be on my own for ever.



Asparval
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04 Oct 2007, 12:31 pm

I was on my own for about two and a half years after my wife left me.

I've never had the skills to be able to initiate relationships in the real world but now, at 49, I am just learning how to do it online through a dating site.



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11 Oct 2007, 9:40 pm

Men in our age bracket are either happily married soon to be divorced, or never married for a reason. Sorry, but save yourself for later when the men that are worth it are 55 and divorced. Or, find someone (ha) in our bracket who concentrated on his career and is "ready". In the meantime, please yourself...