How do you relate to other women if you are able?

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I often feel childish in the company of other women. There’s some kind of poise or social sophistication I’m missing and it feels quite glaringly obvious I’m different somehow (like an elephant in the room), even though it’s hard to put the finger on how exactly.

If the other women are nice, they are motherly towards me. If they are not nice, they will be passive aggressive.

It’s a different dynamic with men. They are more likely to be attracted to me so the balance of power feels like it’s shifted towards me slightly more.

The few friends I have are men. I find women difficult to interact with because they expect the same social sophistication of me that they have. Women tend to read subtext into the things that I say that I didn't mean and wasn't aware of, so I will sometimes appear, to them, to have said something snide or insulting when I absolutely had not. And they use subtext in their interactions, which I miss, so I am often baffled by what they are saying.

One of the things that I struggle with the most is making and keeping female friends. I feel like there are so many unspoken rules that I'm unaware of. Almost all of my friends that I've ever had are either men or older women. I've noticed men seem to be more direct and straight forawrd compared to NT women which seems to make communication easier. I feel like interacting with other women, especially those my age is so difficult. I don't feel like I'm a "real" woman around them. I feel more like a little girl cosplaying as a woman. If that makes sense.

I have never understood women. It's like they are part of this secret club with these rules and behaviors that I just don't get and it's like they know I don't get it so I end up on the outside unable to develop a friendship with them.

I’m extremely shy, so no social interaction is easy for me until I know someone well. I will say that offline I usually have an easier time relating to women although online it’s more like 50/50. I live in a conservative area that has fairly rigid notions of gender. Maybe if I lived somewhere that was more liberal, it’d be more even for me. I have trouble relating to people who are very masculine, not that I’m a girly girl myself.

We have the same body parts. That's about it.

Same experiences that were described here apply to me. I think the main reason I fail is because I can bond over an interest, and usually women are bonding over like nothing. Small talk. I am very bad with it, because I want to ramble about my special interests or debate for an amusement factor of it lol. I think I have the best chances around other autistic women with similar interests, as well as anybody else who is autistic and has similar interests.