Anyone else find the idea of sex with someone else wierd?

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Hey all,
This is a question for other women, do any of you find the thought of having sex with a man foreign and wierd, instead of the normal and natural that it's meant to be? Probably not, seeing it's just me with that attitude as I've come to realise in the past 5 or so years. I'm 21, (bi, prefer men) had boyfriends and all that, but never had sex. I have a high sex drive and masturbate a lot, have plenty of fantasies, have o'd, cum easily, etc etc except....I'm wierd about doing it with a man.
This probaby comes about because the first time I got close with a guy, I got sensory overload when he touched me and didn't like it cause it was painful. I then got in a string of relationships, the first guy including, where I was dumped because I didn't want to have sex straight away, and on top of this I have terrible self esteem and that just made me feel s**t that no man has been willing to wait for me to be comfortable enough with him to have sex with him. Does anyone else have a thing about sensory overload/not being comfortable with someone? Does anyone else think there's more to a relationship than sex? I'm at my wits end.

Oh and by the way, when I say I'm a virgin, and ask if that's ok and do they mind waiting, guys always say yes that's ok. But when it comes to the crunch and after a few weeks they get angry and frustrated with me and I'm single again.

Cad

yeah...

Only when I am drunk do I feel comfortable being touched or touching others. I'm a virgin but I can't imagine having sex in any state other than drunkenness.

I know what you mean! It sucks because I'd love to do it with a man....only the touching part gets me....which kinda defeats the purpose

Well as I guy that has dated and had sex with a very sensitive girl I can say it takes a different kind of touch and different game plan in order for her to enjoy it. I know for her it was more of the physical pressure then it was actually touching so everything I did had to be very light almost to the point of not touching but still close enough to feel it. It took a few times for her to be comfortable with the whole idea but where there is a will there is a way. I myself only have a light sensitivity and luckily for me most sex is in the dark or dimly lit rooms =P

Can you be inmate with a women without these same problems?

There is more to a relationship then just sex but it is a pretty big part of it, but that's a part you can always work on and improve if the other parts are there.

Thanks for the reply DCxMagus. I tried to explain it to them but they didn't understand, it's nice that there's someone out there who gets where I'm coming from. They would always just do the 'get over it' thing and be rough and not care about my sensitivity. I'm bi but never been intimate with a girl, maybe I should try it to see if I have the same problem? I wouldn't have a problem with sex at all if someone would just understand me!

I get sensory overload sometimes, but I don't find the actual idea of sex with a guy weird/strange.

This is most likely the major problem that you are having with feeling weird about the general idea of sex. If your not with someone that is at least taking that sensitivity into account then your not going to be willing yourself subconsciously to allow yourself to try and get past it to enjoy the act. The sensitivity is really a mind over matter thing, in order for you to even begin to overcome it or allow yourself to push the boundaries farther and farther until you can enjoy it you of course need to feel comfortable with the situation... being forced to just "get over it" isn't exactly the best way to be put in a comfortable situation. You also stated that you have pretty much done it all with just yourself so you know you can enjoy the act, it's just finding a person your comfortable letting go with.



I wouldn't just try it, just because it didn't work out with pushy guys... But I will say you'll more likely to find a women who would at least attempt to be a bit more sensitive to the issue. Showing yourself that you can enjoy sex with another person might even be the first step to enjoying sex with men, or hell you might even discover you don't even like men anymore, ya never know.

That would be enough to put anyone off sex! No one has the right to tell you to "get over it" and they certainly do not have the right to be rough! (Whether or not you're touch sensitive, they don't have this right!) If you found a decent guy who was willing to wait and work with you, could you start by taking his hand and demonstrating how lightly you need to be touched, maybe first on your face before you reach any other areas? I've found that most men are pretty happy when a girl takes initiative in explaining what she likes. I think you could eventually get comfortable enough with a man who is willing to take things slowly and gently! Before I lost my virginity, I had a lot of guys say it was no problem, basically because I think many men find the idea of being a woman's first, erotic. When they discover that dating a virgin doesn't mean she's dying to sleep with them, though, it can lose its appeal!

For me, I'm comfortable enough with my husband (who is not pushy and very gentle) to enjoy sex. My tolerance of being touched goes up and down; if I'm having a day where I simply cannot bear touch, or cannot bear that much touch, I tell him before the topic of sex comes up. OTOH, if I initiate a cuddle session, he knows I'm open to it!

Sometimes I find it very weird almost unimaginable. Other times I'd do anything for it.

Sex with a guy - weird. I am not attracted to men.

Sex at all - I get sensory overload if I get too much skin-to-skin contact. This actually goes well with my low libido, so I'm really not interested much in sex at all.

I do kink, however, as it requires neither skin contact nor actual sex.

Yeah, definitely.

It’s more the idea of having someone else’s body sweat and ‘stuff’ on me that freaks me out, though.

I don't have sensory issues when it comes to touch, but I do find the idea of having sex with men weird and intimidating. I'm scared of losing my virginity to a man. It isn't because of a fear of getting pregnant or getting STDs either. I've just never liked the idea of sex with men. When I first learned about sex (accidentally) at age 9 by reading a book about pregnancy, I felt so traumatized that I cried and couldn't sleep for days.

Thanks for the replies people. I think it is that I need to find someone who I'm confortable with, and the touch thing as well as my drive wavers, sometimes it's all I want, and other times (which are usually the times I've been forced) I can think of better things to do. I can see where you're coming from, xxZeromancerlovexx, and Verdandi, I'm a pretty huge kink also

Do you think you are asexual? Or maybe attracted to girls instead of guys?

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I used to be like that even about making out with a guy, but once i started it i LOVED it! Same goes for kissing a girl