Being told to make an effort with the way you look.

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Ok So, I was at church today, and a male friend... he's like a father to me, told me that I should make more of an effort to look nice. Why, I was clean, my dress was clean and my hair was brushed (just like everyday), but he said that if I actually want the guy I like to notice me I had to do pretty things with my hair and put make up on (or words to that effect). Why? I think that make up ruins your skin anyway, and I only wear it if I've got a special occasion to go to... and the guy I like notices me, and we playfight all the time.

I just think that if he doesn't want me now when I look natural, then why will he like me when I look like a porcelain doll? He's not that shallow, I've known him for years. He isn't likely to tell me he likes me... he has ADHD.

Sorry for making this a rant, I just wanted to know if this happens to anyone else.

Tell him to show you some respect.

Men are not expected to paint their faces, why should women??

Make-up and nice clothes only get ruined during play-fight, speaking from experience, .

Your friend's behaviour would have been more appropriate, if you had asked for his 'fatherly' advice after pining for ages for your love interest, who showed no interest in you.
Even then my reasoning would be, if he had known you for years and had not shown any romantic inclination towards you until now, there would be a rather slim chance that a thick layer of make-up and more eye-catching body wear made any difference.

I would enjoy the budding friendship with the guy you like and pay no attention to any undermining comments.

I think your kind fatherly adviser was from another era, when women weren't supposed to be forward in asking men on dates, and the only thing they could do was put on makeup, put ribbons in their hair, and bat their eyelashes at their love-interest, hoping to catch his attention that way.

I think that he meant well, but unfortunately he's about 40 years out of date with his dating advice.

Sort of like talking to Rip Van Winkle.

I know it's annoying listening to advice like that, but try not to take it too personally.

I understand you completely. I constantly get told by some of my family members or friends that I should wear makeup, do my hair nicer, or wear dresses and heels!! I absolutely HATE it...why can't people love me the way I am?

If I have to 'pretty' myself up for someone to notice me, I'm not interested in them.

Don't let stuff like this get to you.

The only person you have to satisfy with the way you dress and the way you make up is ... YOU.

If someone else doesn't like it, well ... tough sh*t.

wait a moment, if u say hes like a fatherly figure to you, how much older is he? By looking at your age, if hes maybe 8 yrs max older then fine. But if hes like 20 yrs older, umm thats a bit creepy. He really shouldnt be trying to hit on girls that much younger then him.

But I see the point of u post. My moms basically trying to tell me the same thing. See when u look better, guys treat u better and are more likely to help u when u need it. I found that out from experience. See if I need help, since most women eventually hate putting up with me(the niceness only goes so far), so I prefer to ask the guys.

In terms of attraction, I think Rudy Simone address this one in Aspergirls. You ought to read it.

My nana is terrible with this, she nags me constantly to make an effort with my looks and dress and keeps going on about buying me new clothes, and I hate it, you know why?
Because I DO make an effort, and I like dressing up in clothes I think look good. I keep myself clean and smelling fresh, I brush my hair and get dressed in a way that I feel good and comfortable in. I may not be the height of fashion (I'm actually very clueless) but I like my clothes and I don't look grubby or messy. I sometimes like to put on a brightly coloured lip gloss on when I feel like dressing up a bit because I enjoy it. (I don't wear make-up often but when I do I like to play with bold colours, I don't do neutral.)

Yet because it's not to everyone's taste it doesn't count as making an effort, f**k that!

last week a customer said to me as i was checking him out "when are you going to stop playing down your attractiveness?"

awkward >.<

it seems rude and a stupid way to hit on women to me but maybe they think they are helping i guess.

That is rude. I hate when people ask me, why don't you ever wear makeup. You would look so much hotter, like this it just seems like you don't care and don't want to look pretty.

Maybe I don't. Arg, makes me angry every time.