Girls- what do you find most attractive/sexy in a guy?

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I think...I find devotion/commitment sexy...If the guy wants children he starts to sound more attractive...but NOT if he is viewing me as some sort of a birthing machine...
I would fall for empathy as well, but it is not as important as commitment...
I've always found it very difficult to say good-bye to guys who wanted me for marriage, no matter how incompatible and unprepared I felt we were...although of course, none of it worked out....

Sense of humour, definitely. And being on 'the same wavelength', there must be a better way of putting that but I can't think of it

I don't find myself attracted to many men and I do frankly have a type. I find tall, lanky, dark haired and dark eyed men attractive and they find me attractive as well. I have no idea why that is, but you could line up all the men I've dated and they would look alike.

In addition, I have a type when it comes to personality. I finally found something that seemed to explain this after all these years. It's a grouping for Meyers Briggs types by Viktor Gulenko and these two have my past boyfriends/husband and myself written all over it. I'll put the other two groups in as well with their explanation. It's pretty interesting I think regarding what we find attractive and why.

Careful – This is my husband and past boyfriends all the way
- See other people in a caring but maybe arrogant way as if they are some kind of "parent figure" and everyone else needs their attention and help
- Interact as if they they are in control but not in aggressive way. This type always acts in a caring way and expect the partner to accept this care without rebellion
- Has an openly "patronizing" subtype and a subtype that applies "care" indirectly
- Hates signs of aggression in themself
- Has "I know what is best for you" attitude


Infantile – This is for my personality type. It is so accurate it's scary.

- Can be openly childlike/dreamer/detached or more formal looking with an "inner child"
- Has lots of needs and can be selfish (like a child) and expects the partner to totally adapt to this behaviour
- Can be openly needy for loving and care
- On the other hand can be openly rebellious against care and need a lot of "right kind of" attention
- Doesn't want the partner to directly control but instead set loose "boundaries" and safe guards within which it is safe to play and have fun
- Hates signs of aggression or indifferenc in others
- Has "I want you to be my friend and guardian angel" attitude


Here are the rest.


GULENKO'S EROTIC ATTITUDES

Careful
- ESTj
- ISTp
- ESFj
- ISFp

Aggressor
- ESTp
- ISTj
- ESFp
- ISFj

Victim
- ENTj
- INTp
- ENFj
- INFp

Infantile
- ENTp
- INTj
- ENFp
- INFj


Careful –

- See other people in a caring but maybe arrogant way as if they are some kind of "parent figure" and everyone else needs their attention and help
- Interact as if they they are in control but not in aggressive way. This type always acts in a caring way and expect the partner to accept this care without rebellion
- Has an openly "patronizing" subtype and a subtype that applies "care" indirectly
- Hates signs of aggression in themself
- Has "I know what is best for you" attitude

Aggressor

- Sometimes is openly arrogant and aggressive and expects complete
mental submission from others
- Sometimes has a very victim like look and uses indirect means to
control the partner. In the "heart" is as aggressive and control
oriented as the openly aggressive version. Can turn openly
aggressive if the "victim" refuses to submit to indirect
control.
- Hates signs of weakness in themself
- Has "I am in control" attitude

Victim

- Can project either a submissive or arrogant view of themselves
- The openly submissive version never questions the partners
control but expects the partner to "show the way" in all aspects
of the relationship or interaction
- The arrogant version looks aggressive and always challenges people
but the true meaning of this behaviour is to find an aggressor who
is stronger than the victim themself. This type can never be "tamed"
but the partner has to "apply force" at all times to keep the
arrogant victim under control
- Hates signs of weakness in others
- Has "I want you to control me (if you can)" attitude



Infantile

- Can be openly childlike/dreamer/detached or more formal looking with an "inner child"
- Has lots of needs and can be selfish (like a child) and expects the partner to totally adapt to this behaviour
- Can be openly needy for loving and care
- On the other hand can be openly rebellious against care and need a lot of "right kind of" attention
- Doesn't want the partner to directly control but instead set loose "boundaries" and safe guards within which it is safe to play and have fun
- Hates signs of aggression or indifferencyin others
- Has "I want you to be my friend and guardian angel" attitude


Good compatibility
Careful - Infantile
Aggressor - Victim
-> natural pairs

Some compatibility
Careful - Victim
-> somewhat satisfying for careful, not truly satisfying for victim

Bad compatibility
Careful - Aggressor
-> frustrating for the careful, insulting for the aggressor
Aggressor - Infantile
-> somewhat satisfying for the aggressor, scary for the infantile
Victim - Infantile
-> totally unsatisfying for each
All identical pairs
-> mixed success but bad in an

I wonder how generic these are to other women (or, people in general)? Or is it just me and my "quirks" at play...?

There's not one thing - it's a package. I guess the Must Haves to be remotely attractive are:

~a significant amount of raw intelligence ("educated" or "uneducated" really doesn't matter)
~an overabundance of common sense, and control over it
~a kind and quiet nature
~a healthy sense of humor (any variety)
~a sense of wonder that still is intact, even after all that
~an innate understanding of duty and responsibility (including where it starts *and* ends)
~drive - he must have something, anything, he's really passionate about. (No languishing, angsting couch potatos need apply. )
~the ability to be accepting of "ecentricities" in others
~adaptability and versatility - a "survivor"
~above all, he must be comfortable in his own skin, ok with who and what he is.

That being said, on the flip side, the immediate disqualifiers would be:

~loud, crude individuals
~cruel individuals - if they'll mistreat any living thing in any way, I don't want to know them
~intolerant, controlling personalities
~obesity - sorry, it's just a turnoff. I prefer my men without excessive fat on them.
~I've already been a mother: I don't want to be his. (Nor the reverse scenario)
~guys who smell bad. Smelling like a male after hard physical work or just generically is fine. Actually, it's pretty nice. Not bathing for a month and smelling like a dirty body sprouting fungus is not fine.


Oddly, the physical "type" I think that I think is the most attractive is the one none of my intimate male friends have ever had. One was vaguely close to it, but it's always the mind that makes the difference, for whatever reason. Go figure.

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A broad Cockney accent and a bit of girth. Stick men or muscle men don't do a thing for me. The Cockney dialect also serves as a mating call for me, because it makes me very horny. I don't know why it makes me horny, but it just does.

Dat's funny..
I don't blame ye...

I am lured by the faraway gleam in the eye of the complete sociopath...he must be abrasive..an as*hole..witty and clever, but prone to getting into fights..you know..the real fixer-upper type guy...not bad..just misunderstood.....no..okay...bad...
Aquarius drummers are a plus..

just kidding....(sorta)...cough...

I am very happy to have my Flakey...who is just as weird, if not weirder than I am.
He is also very patient and has put up with tons from me...Patience and childlike humor are a plus...and he has big blue eyes.

Hard to elucidate really... the men I have been drawn to have all been very intelligent, artistic in some way, with this unusual childlike quality and a quietness about them as well as an intensity. I do not tend to go by looks. I have had what others would describe as good looking men interested in me, but I find they are of no interest to me as they lack that undefinable something.

Kind, weird, witty, affectionate.

I honestly don't have a specific type -- I've had relationships with fat men, short men, tall and slender, beautiful, and homely men -- they all had many qualities in common, however:

1) Great sense of humor -- if a man doesn't make me laugh, he sucks
2) Intellect -- must be able to converse on a wide variety of subjects
3) At least *some* artistic ability, be it writing, painting, sketching, music
4) CLEAN, smells nice at ALL times
5) Confident -- is able to give me my space and not whine like a little b***h about it
6) Patient -- because I've been known to stretch even the hardiest quite thin
7) Excellent work ethic -- Slackers or players can go to hell
Kind -- MUST be compassionate toward all living things
9) Pleasing voice
10) Great-looking forearms and hands -- I go weak at the sight

a snuggly chest and big arms to hold me
i want someone to love me inspite of my difficulties
xx

Let me think...

I'm attracted to guys who are nice to me.