Living without “masking”

Post Reply New Topic

What did you discover about yourself when you stopped masking?

How did you get in tune with your true needs and self?

How do you stop masking? I AM my mask, we have melded into one. I have no idea how to be anyone else.

I noticed immediately that I stopped being so stressed out, feeling like I'm judged, exhausted, and anxious chronically. I stopped pretending I was feeling certain emotions, I've stopped stuffing my emotions--I have tried to make a lot of changes. I feel that doing these things has made me much less depressed and socially isolated.

I also used to only focus on other people rather than give my input, and I made the decision to give my input regardless of other people's responses.

I discovered that most people don't give a s**t regardless. People come to accept us as we are. If they don't, I kick them out of my life.

I'm happy with it.

I 'stopped' masking way before I even start considering or even know of it.
Instead of realizing my needs in later life, I realized other else's instead.

And for me to fulfill other else's needs, I have to know myself better. So I wouldn't need to worry about my own needs over anyone else's.
It helped that I don't like having needs myself... Even more so that I had enough with the concept of 'take'.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I think maybe I have been masking all of my life...I have always been "different" from peers. I don't really have friends even now at 57 but I PREFER it that way. It is just exhausting to try to be friendly and convivial all the time, which is something that is generally expected out of women. I just HATE it. I can BE friendly and mean it for a little while and then I want to be ALONE or at least separated from "the group" via headphones, distance, activities etc. My son is autistic...there are several people on both sides of my family with some form of autism, yet my mother insists in spite of some pretty obvious indicators that "she never saw anything wrong with me" whatever THAT is supposed to mean. She just went out of her way to tell people "she's always been a little different from the rest of us" (insert little winking smilies here).
I guess in spite of everything she just thinks I am weird and would rather believe THAT than believe I have autism which is I suppose a reflection on HER since she didn't see me as anything other than STRANGE all of my life (and will do so until her death). That would absolve her of any failure as a mother since she is of course PERFECT and always right about everything. There is no such thing as perfect mother (or father for that matter). I was born in 1961. There was far less information on autism then particularly as it pertains to women. I wish she'd just chill out. Life is just too short. It is after all MY life...and autism just is what it is...it is not a reflection of another person's perceived ability to alter it's course, complexity or components.

I'm still trying to stop. I know someone who helps me at least. Edit: whoops, I stumbled into the women's forum again, pardon me, this topic seems relevant to everyone.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I'm only here to see what a colony of cells approximately resembling some dude said. ^

Shows what I subconsciously think of women , I thought the title was Living without Mascara

Please report my post if my humour is not welcome

I'm a person with little filter.

I have little ability to "mask."

What you see is what you get, pretty much......

I don't really know how much of it is the unmasking and how much is my ongoing therapy but I've learned a lot about myself.
1. If I don't put effort and energy into intonation, my voice is flat and unconvincing;
2. Overstimulation. That's the word. I really feel awful in "normal" situations. It's real pain, not "something I make up to make a scene". It's my neurology reacting stronger to stimuli.
3. I hate people invading my personal space. On a bad day, I can become seriously agressive if someone does.
4. Some people have problem with the transition but generally either they accept me the way I am or I don't need to care for them. Or both.

Some people treated me worse. But overall life improved as I am surrounded by better people.

I never wore a mask to begin with. Before i had an explanation for my quirks and behavior, i never cared how others perceived me. I looked down on normal society, particularly NT female society.

It was revolutionary, stopped masking in early twenties. I had come to a point in my life where I had to acknowledge that I didn’t have enough basic skills to get along as an independent adult. Ditching the mask was a necessity for my own growth and survival. And it felt good to be myself. That was all well and good as a young, single woman. The crisis came again after getting married and having kids. I know I love my family, but that’s not enough. I have to show them that, and be attentive, etc. If my kid is having a meltdown, I have to dismiss the fact that now I am inches away from my own meltdown. It’s hard to parent effectively if you are putting on an act, but it is hard to demonstrate love and attentiveness to kids without masking. If I don’t mask, will they know I love them? These are questions I am struggling with right now.