Curious about women's thoughts in general...

Post Reply New Topic

...about men who have had a vasectomy. Is it a comforting or a depressing thought?


M.

I've never wanted kids, so I'd think it was good.

I do not have any particular feelings or thoughts about a man who has had a vasectomy. It's neither comforting nor depressing.

It's comforting, because I don't want children.

My husband had a vasectomy when our second child was not yet a year old. We had decided not to have any more children, and I didn't want to spend more years on birth control pills. I was sad that there would be no more babies, but felt it was best for the two children we already had. I knew I didn't have the boundless energy that would be required to mother a larger brood. My husband had no qualms about it. In fact, he seemed happy. Some time later I figured out it was because he was happy to know he no longer would have the risk of fathering an out-of-wedlock child. He could go play anywhere he wanted. How do I feel about men who have had a vasectomy? I've only known one, and he's a jerk.

After my child was born, I was not able to have children. A man with a vasectomy would have been a suitable partner, as we would have had something in common.

I find a lot of men are looking for the mother of their children, not the love of their life. A guy with a vasectomy either has their own children before they met you, or likes you for yourself, not what you can do for him, genetically.

Merle

^ Thirded.

This must be a singular event, because I've never heard anything else like it, but...

My friend was considering a vasectomy, and mentioned it to his girlfriend. She became very angry and told him, "You'll violate my right to choose!"

Huh?

So let me get this straight, if I get a vasectomy, I'm violating some poor woman's right to choose to abort a baby that I could've otherwise helped to conceive ... but didn't?

^ I'm assuming she meant her right to choose if she wants a baby or not... ?

I mean a baby with him, of course.

I don't know ...

It seems to me that if she had meant "have a baby with you" she would have explicitely said so. Instead, she used a buzzphrase ("... my right to choose") that is strongly associated with abortion.

... but maybe that's just my Aspie-literal interpretation.

...Fnord, your friend's girlfriend is confused about rights, methinks, although the right to choose whether to have children seems to be at issue, not the right of choosing an abortion - I don't know if it is an literalism problem, as I did not put it in that context immediately and was focused on choice as the key point.. While it does affect their options for having children, there is also the option of a reversal, albeit painful and expensive; there is adoption; there is IVF. I chose that route because having children was something that me and my fiance talked about at length, both knowing and deciding that for several very important reasons that we were not having children. Thank you all for your feedback and responses.


M.

I wouldn't put a lot of faith in thinking one cannot become pregnant if a man has a vasectomy. It has been known to happen. Of course, the chances of that are quite minimal but there is a chance.