Chivalry is stupid

Post Reply New Topic

I wish it was mine! Ironically, it's my ex's

one thing i hate in dates is ambiguity and guesswork. not knowing what to do or how to react just ruins the experience for me and i intend to try and eliminate that entirely the next time I'm dating someone

"Chivalry is stupid." topic


Yes it is. But with or without the idea of getting laid, I still open doors for people to be considerate. If a man does it for me which is rare, I praise him. Kindness or generosity as prude as it sounds is something I sort of look up to. I'm not use to that but I guess I could see it as annoying to some women who are so use to it or only getting it for chivalry I guess.

As I've said many times, common courtesy is not the same thing as chivalry. Common courtesy is sorely lacking in today's society.

I recently stopped seeing a man after a first date that went pretty well simply because I CAN'T tolerate these kind of things. Insisting on walking me to my door, opening doors for me when I'm empty handed, etc. Even if they try to act like it's not a gender thing, I wouldn't want a woman doing these things for me either.

did you tell him that you didn't want him to act that way during the date or did you simply just stop seeing him?

I tried telling him. We got into two arguments about it. After ONE date. He refused to respect my boundaries.

I told him the feminist side of me doesn't appreciate that he felt like he had to walk me to my door to make sure I was safe. After all, he dropped me off right in front of my apartment building, and I walk home at night alone pretty regularly. He wouldn't let it go, he said I should at least text him when I get in the door because he feels responsible for me if we've been out together. It was ridiculous.

sounds more like a paranoia thing than chivalry. If it was just that he could have easily stopped. It probably actually caused him distress worrying about - not simply for your safety, but his own well being. This sort of distress people know is irrational but they can't stop it. I know the feeling.

It just made me sick because if I were a guy he'd been hanging out with, it would have been different.

Also we had a fight about something else through text messages. I was a nude model for three years, and I worked very hard at my career. I'm proud of the work I did, and it's been internationally published and featured in countless art shows and galleries. He basically said he would never want to see my work because he'd rather just see me naked in person, like all my work was just about the fact that I was nude & not about making art. And he started spouting off these outdated ideas about women's bodies being for their man's eyes. It was sick. I don't know what century this guy is from.

I tried telling him. We got into two arguments about it. After ONE date. He refused to respect my boundaries.

I told him the feminist side of me doesn't appreciate that he felt like he had to walk me to my door to make sure I was safe. After all, he dropped me off right in front of my apartment building, and I walk home at night alone pretty regularly. He wouldn't let it go, he said I should at least text him when I get in the door because he feels responsible for me if we've been out together. It was ridiculous.

In it's true sense chivalry is not the one sided courtesy of men to women, that's the relatively modern view of what chivalry is. The word chivalry comes from the old French word chevalerie, meaning horseman, and is the collective noun for the qualities expected of a knight such as courage, honour, courtesy, justice etc.

(That's such an Asperger's response )

You are right, but we were using the word here to mean an outdated and inappropriate code of conduct between men and women

Sounds like a non-keeper. Maybe it wasn't paranoia.