I'm ready to pull my uterus right out of my body
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
I don't HAVE teachers at the moment. And how am I going to take holidays from my family?? When I tell other people, they tell me to do things I already know I have to do, but don't tell me how, so I keep having to ask. I just wonder if even a little blink could get me going so I can get something done? Also, they don't antagonize me into staying, but maybe are and they're using reverse pshycology by saying "Just go! We don't care!" (Ironically, I can't leave unnanounced, but I will anyway, because my sister said my mom would cry and they would set up search parties. Joke's on them when they find me safe living in a condo I pay rent for myself! )
Well, I don't have any experience on how to join peacecorps or jobcorps. But I can tell you exactly how to go to an army recruiter and tell him that you don't have anything medically wrong with you, in fact I can give pretty detailed instructions on how to get through their little game, I don't get the impression you want any of that, but that's all the advice I can come up with. Have you tried contacting peacecorp?
I don't know if I should. I'm glad I am getting this off my chest. I really HATE how they think this is part of my "personality". My sister told me one day if I was a man, I'd be exactly the same but with a penis. Actually, that would make the MOST difference . No PMS, no chocolate cravings, no crying over sappy things.
And how exactly should I contact peacecorp? And how do I know you're not just messing with me and manipulating me and manufacturing my opinion? Because people are saying random things that I'd never get into... unless that's what my "family" thinks. I don't need them anyway, so I should be able to go wherever. But why would I join the peacecorp if I'm so self-absorbed?
well, I have to admit the army bias, it helped me, so I'll always reccomend that for people in your situation (with grains of salt).
I think the peacecorp can help just because of your situation. You've come across an important realization, you're self-absorbed and most people don't admit to it (I still have a hard time owning up, but in a way, everyone is self absorbed).
There's one basic thing I know about the peacecorp, it gets you out of the house. Now I can't prove that I'm not being manipulative, but there's every opinion on this board telling you to either change the living situation or leave it. I think I have a better understanding myself now. Your mom tries to remain objective, your sister loses control and gets downright abusive, and your mom allows that behavior and blames you while your sister continues to take her frustrations out on you. If this is more accurate, do you honestly think you're any better off with them manipulating you? Sure, the world isn't exactly safe, but spending a little time away from them can help you think of what is right for you. I'll look up peacecorp and jobcorp for you, but you can easily get to their websites via a google search, you can get a gauge for whether you like it or not after you look it up.
Ok, scratch peacecorps, I just did my research and it's for an older demographic (sorry).
http://losangeles.jobcorps.gov/home.aspx
That is a link to a jobcorps center in california. You can give it a good reading over. I had a friend who did this program, he actually had a pretty good job when he got out (firefighter).
Ok, this is a women's forum and I am a male. But my mother had that operation and she keeps telling me that was because of me. I have a large head, and since she gave birth to me she had her uterus coming out, as well.
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Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
I can vouch for Job Corp. They have a good program. Since Fickle doesn't seem interested in college and overwhelmed with her situation, it is a pretty good choice. As you note, at least some of the areas they train in can lead to solid careers.
From many of FP's posts, she feels powerless and abused. It doesn't matter if all of this is just in her head, it is the way she feels. Regardless, she needs to gain control of her life and feel that she can take care of herself. And this is something that can be done via Job Corp. I think they train for 3 to 6 months and get them jobs. Which seems perfect for FP.
*sigh* I just fear those scumbag siblings of mine will beat me up again for having HORRIBLE mood swings and think I deserve the abuse that is being returned to me. I tried bringing it up, but they mocked me, and said "ABUSE?? HA!"
My older sis dosen't know and when I tried to mention it subtley, calling it "hormonal factors" she said "Oh no, you can't get away with that anymore!" as if I was talking about the onset of puberty instead (I should have said "Actually, I can up until I'm in my late 40s"). And when I act out on my irritability, she says "And you wonder why we hit you?" ("Hit" is SUCH a weak word to use there, they understate things just to be smart-asses, I would use the more appropriate term for the extreme violence, I would say "PUMMEL"!)
I'm desperate to do ANYTHING to wreck the cycle.
Oh dear f*****g God, they have absolutely no right to treat you like that. I think if I ever met that sister who hurt your eye, I'd hurt her so badly she'd wake in the night hyperventilating for the rest of her life. That's sick, and it is definitely abuse.
I agree job corp or peacecorp.
If all else fails just ask a friend if you can stay with them for a while, or find one of those shelters for victims of domestic violence.
And keep something with a metal edge on you, and if any of your siblings lays a hand on you again, use it.
_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)
Well as a guy, I can tell you that I just cry over different stuff (like not feeling manly whenever I cry). I think if I we're a woman, I'd just never put out EVER, because as a guy I know that we're either A-holes or just not attractive enough (this is all from a straight man perspective). Your sister is pretty belittling, I think she enjoys staying on your mom's side by invalidating everything you say. As soon as you're out of the picture, she'll have to find someone else to put down.
I know I might come under fire for saying it, but do you remember what Brad Pitt said on "Thelma and Louise"? You've gotta make a copy someday, I think the world needs it (or you might just change your mind), either way l wouldn't blame the estrogen, testosterone is just as bad.
Fickle_Pickle
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Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
Well as a guy, I can tell you that I just cry over different stuff (like not feeling manly whenever I cry). I think if I we're a woman, I'd just never put out EVER, because as a guy I know that we're either A-holes or just not attractive enough (this is all from a straight man perspective). Your sister is pretty belittling, I think she enjoys staying on your mom's side by invalidating everything you say. As soon as you're out of the picture, she'll have to find someone else to put down.
And she calls ME the b***h when she's the one who is always putting me down! (I'm probably learning that "bitchy" behavior from HER anyway, as I made an oath 7 years ago to get even meaner the more she treats me so cruel.) She's worse than just a b***h... she's a c**t! She just wishes I wouldn't move out so she makes these belittling excuses for me not to leave. (And it's not just my sister, even my brother takes my mom's side and belittles me as well. They all stick together because they are family. Seeing how they all gang up on me, I guess I am officially no longer a part of the so-called family.) Even though she may not notice or even admit it, she loves having me around to pick on. But who cares about her? She knows she's slipping and failing to hurt me as easily, as I am bouncing back even faster, with more feelings of power. She's just upset that she's not able to control/scare me as easily as she could years ago. If I deserve to go to jail, then I can make HER and all the other "well adjusted" people look like whiners, I will have stories to tell, because I have been arrested and jailed before, so they will think twice before stating in front of me how hard their jobs are. Until I acually CAN get my foot out the front door, get over my small case of agoraphobia and stop thinking every little thing has no point, I may just get a job of my own and make my own money. (Besides, I got in a car crash recently, so I can use the money I get out of the lawsuit.)
Definately true, picking on someone just because she can get away with it would make me see red too. One of my sisters used to do the same thing. Ironically, the only one who can put up with her is the same sibling she used to push around (she's too nice to get revenge).
The bad thing about this situation is that she makes you feel shame for problems she doesn't want to deal with. I've been around people long enough to know that mean people will always find someone else to pass the shame to. In reality you haven't earned any shame, so when you do leave the house, you might want to remember just to leave the shame with her (gonna require a little NLP).
Fickle_Pickle
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Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
All this came from just a discussion on removing my reproductive organ. It appears that you're trying to say that it's not the source of the frustration. I don't see why I need any NLP. I think being gone for a long time will work, but then again, I don't know what you mean by needing NLP.
NLP or NeuroLinguistic Programming is a way of dealing with thought processes to make your thinking more efficient (or less problematic).
I probably assumed too much by thinking that a memory of your sister would continue to bother you whenever you left. I have spent countless hours being upset at people who are long gone. If you even mention my cousin, I'll feel like telling you about the biggest jerk I've ever met. I use some methods from NLP to deal with situations like this, so naturally, I reccomend it to everyone I talk to.
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
I probably assumed too much by thinking that a memory of your sister would continue to bother you whenever you left. I have spent countless hours being upset at people who are long gone. If you even mention my cousin, I'll feel like telling you about the biggest jerk I've ever met. I use some methods from NLP to deal with situations like this, so naturally, I reccomend it to everyone I talk to.
Well, I know without her or my brother, I can get away with stuff and they can't do ANYTHING about it.
[quote="Fickle_Pickle"]Well I sometimes feel like getting a knife and just cut it out of there.
.............................................................. OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! Why? That would hurt even more. You would probably die to. I would suggesting surgery
Fickle_Pickle
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 974
Location: North Hollywood, California
.............................................................. OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! Why? That would hurt even more. You would probably die to. I would suggesting surgery
I was considering that, but that costs LOADS of money!