black female aspies?

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There was a girl that worked with me for some years that I always thought was amazingly shy, although very nice...she was kind of a "geek"...hmmm...well, then again, we ALL were geeks in that team...haha...Anyway, I had not seen her in years and last year I spoke with her...I found out her first daughter was diagnosed with AS (she's about 9, same as my son)...

I bet if you looked at some computer related work, etc...you'd find quite a few...I know at least in my group, now looking back, there were ALL aspies...hehe...

1. guy #1 rocked back and forth in his chair all day
2. guy #2 went home and took 3-4 showers in the day and was a perfectionist
3. guy #3 had "tantrums" all the time at work and yet was normally on his own listening to music and away from others
4. girl #1 - mentioned above
5. and me...

there were a couple of others too...

So, you might want to check into some people in that field and again, you will probably find many african-american aspies there...

since we have several black female aspies in one place... i want to ask a question, k?

i find black women in general really really hot. is it racist to say that? in all seriousness, if you hear someone say that, do you feel like it diminishes you as a person because it singles out your skin colour? i always wonder... so i mostly keep it to myself.

I don't think your attraction is racist... more so because it is unknown what kinds of experiences have informed your perspective.

If your attraction to black women privileges you (or a profile of that attraction) as part of a larger group that let's say, has historically benefited from whiteness, then it is possible. It's not the kind of question you should want to be able to answer on the spot. I think you have to ask yourself what informs your attraction. What kinds of experiences and observations have influenced your view of beauty; both good and bad.

Once again, seeing black women as attractive is not inherently racist. The lenses we see this beauty through though, sometimes lenses that have historically subjugated black women, could be very well be racist.

I hope you understand where I'm going with this.

i think so, thank you! i live in canada, where there are not too many black people, to be honest (except in the bigger cities like toronto and vancouver). so that made me wonder if i am attracted to a stereotype as opposed to being attracted to individuals within a diverse group.

i guess it isn't easily sorted out. it started with a lovely dream. before that i hadn't love of black women in terms of being attracted to them specifically. i have been coworkers/acquaintances with black women before, but i hadn't considered them in any other light. after the dream, i see so much beauty and attractiveness in black women i speak to/work with/see in public. it's like something opened up which i didn't even know was closed in the first place. but then i thought i might be putting them all into a category, which felt unfair.

thanks for your help! i did really wonder if it was offensive.

I know what you mean...I am a girl and i like black men, but I am scared the say that out loud because someone might think that I am racist(even tho I am half black myself).

If you say "black women are hot," it's called reverse racism (and sexism--but let's not get into that now). Some people think it's not racism because you're attributing a positive adjective to a certain group of people and obviously these people should be thankful for it, but by grouping these people together you're still treating them as "the others" and you're not recognizing them as actual individuals like your neighbor and yourself. Besides, you're probably relying on your own fantasy of what a black woman looks like, when black women have different faces and come in different shapes and sizes, and unless you have no standards at all it's pretty impossible to like them all.

(I'm not black, but I'm Asian, and I hear all the time about how "Asian women are hot." Some people I know find that flattering and they have every right to be, but personally that just pisses me off. It also makes me even less willing to live up to whatever image these people have of an Asian woman. If they want to think of me as ugly, then so be it.)

(And by the way, it's perfectly possible to be half-black and still be a racist.)

(Also... I didn't actually read your response before I wrote all of the above.)

Last edited by menintights on 02 Sep 2010, 11:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Generally, I don't believe people should feel the need to explain the reasons behind loving a particular person.

But if you're going to make statements about a particular group of people, go further in your explanation in a way that will address some of what I explained earlier.

I've had many non-black males comment on loving black women and I run the other way lol. I don't trust it because of the fact that their statement, left as it is, oversimplifies what some might say is the respectable thing to do: express that attraction in a critically conscious manner.

What does that attraction mean? Is it a purely aesthetic reasons, cultural and/or something else?

We have to understand what racist means. It's not so much that people will think that you are racist, it's more the idea that you don't really understand what racism is and therefore cannot correct others if need be.

We can't live in fear of our own ignorance.

I'm glad that people have shared their thoughts and feelings here.

It is NOT REVERSE RACISM!!

Please don't use that term. Where did you get your definition from?

Reverse racism is what white people call what they perceive to be discrimination based on the colour of their skin.


I don't believe the term to be true. Why? Because racism is not only about discrimination, it's about power.

And, saying that people of African descent can be racist is an oversimplification of the idea.

Are there situations where people of African descent have to power to oppress others? Yes, on an individual basis.

But institutionally? No.

And even that is likely oversimplified.

I am not racist, I think being racist is stupid. I have people in my family that are racist and it cases nothing but trouble.