Why are there so many AS females on wrongplanet?

Page 2 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

emc2
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Sep 2008
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 197
Location: Queensland, Australia

02 Dec 2009, 8:03 pm

jc6chan wrote:
MissConstrue wrote:
I think what some people said here is true, females tend to display them differently than males and I think it's expected of us to be shyer and more introverted than our male counterparts.


Really? I always thought that females were expected to be more talkative and have the stereotype of chattering all the time.


I have a friend who does that.

Some are like that others are quiet like me.
There's lots more info about female traits around the net now so I won't add them to this topic though.



02 Dec 2009, 9:34 pm

I think AS is probably effected in women just as much as men but they are just harder to diagnose. I think AS is easier on women too. I read here somewhere that they are more likely to marry young, have kids young, easier to get dates because men don't really care for quirks and lot of them are open. But that doesn't mean their relationships will last. Sure the woman may be pretty but she isn't giving them what the man wants. Plus things they do may seem like women traits.

I also heard that aspie women are more sociable. I seem to fit the AS woman profile except I don't have kids young, not all aspies do, nor regular women and I did struggle finding dates in Montana and getting men because my body language wasn't right, I blame my shyness and I didn't go out much. It's also possible I didn't pick up their cues that they were into me and they maybe thought I was ignoring them and assumed I wasn't interested. So I started using the internet for men and success. I wasn't shy when meeting them because I already knew them from online.

Plus lot of women are shy I hear so that's harder to diagnose too in us. Our social awkwardness might come off as being shy.



RampionRampage
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 743
Location: Greater Philly Area, PA

05 Dec 2009, 12:39 pm

emc2 wrote:
jc6chan wrote:
MissConstrue wrote:
I think what some people said here is true, females tend to display them differently than males and I think it's expected of us to be shyer and more introverted than our male counterparts.


Really? I always thought that females were expected to be more talkative and have the stereotype of chattering all the time.


I have a friend who does that.

Some are like that others are quiet like me.
There's lots more info about female traits around the net now so I won't add them to this topic though.



People might confuse monologuing with rambling girl talk. :)


_________________
As of 2-06-08 --- Axis I: Asperger's Disorder | Axis III: Hearing Impaired
My store: http://www.etsy.com/rampionrampage


nansnick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 774

08 Dec 2009, 6:44 pm

jc6chan wrote:
MissConstrue wrote:
I think what some people said here is true, females tend to display them differently than males and I think it's expected of us to be shyer and more introverted than our male counterparts.


Really? I always thought that females were expected to be more talkative and have the stereotype of chattering all the time.


There have been numerous studies done recently that continually come to the conclusion that men actually talk more.

This seems to fit with my experience. The men around me can't stop talking, about anything, for hours. It's listening they're not good at. Society tells them that women talk more and that what women have to say is of less importance than what men have to say. Thus they think women talk too much because they don't want to listen to them.

Just generalizing, of course.


_________________
forwards not backwards, upwards not forwards, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom


Bella1
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 137
Location: Australia

19 Dec 2009, 11:09 pm

There have been studies done on female aspies and it is much more common for them to go undiagnosed than male aspies. One of the reasons given for women not getting diagnosed is that they are often just seen as shy and being shy or reserved as a female is more acceptable. Female aspies may also share some of the interests that are socially acceptable, like being interested in horses, celebrities or clothing etc etc.

The other reason is that female aspies often get along with men well, which would make finding a partner easier. In my experience I have found that men have seen me as more easy going and easier to read and talk to than the average woman. Of course I found that finding a lasting relationship was really difficult because after awhile it becomes obvious that you don't fit in and they start trying to change those things about you to make you fit in. I think the initial stage where they like you for that comes from them putting males and females into different groups, so they don't realise just how different you are at first.

Male aspies may get along better with women too, but women are less likely to see them as appropriate partners, because women tend to look for the protective type male and aspie men may not fit into the typical ideal of 'partner'. Also men are still expected to be the ones to initiate contact, which would be hard for an aspie male... It makes it much easier for an aspie woman though, because she can just wait for the male to make the move.

What the relationship thing means is that women may be less likely to seek help. Loneliness makes it more likely for someone to seek help.



20 Dec 2009, 1:33 am

My ex was aspie and he didn't accept me. He acted like he wanted me to change but yet he said he doesn't want me to change just because I'm forced to.



Whisper
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2009
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 250
Location: UK

20 Dec 2009, 11:49 am

elderwanda wrote:
jc6chan wrote:
I thought that autism is like 8 times as prevalent in males, but I've noticed so many of wrongplanet's members are female.

-Male speaking here...



It's because we find WP while doing searches and that kind of thing, and when we read posts by other women on the spectrum, we go, "Wow! That's just like me! For the first time in my life, I'm seeing that there are other people who experience life like I do!" So we stick around.

But a lot of us are not diagnosed, because the professionals who do the diagnosing only understand how AS tends to show itself in boys.


This was very much the case with me, too.



MEATGRINDER
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 50

21 Dec 2009, 7:54 pm

jc6chan wrote:
I thought that autism is like 8 times as prevalent in males, but I've noticed so many of wrongplanet's members are female.

-Male speaking here...


I think that asperger syndrome in women is FAR less obvious, and quite possibly much less severe than it is in me. Many of the women on this site are probably either self-diagnosed or they read about AS and managed to convince a professional that they had it. I have met some aspie women in person but it seems to me as though they are Very Rare IRL.



nansnick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 774

21 Dec 2009, 9:06 pm

MEATGRINDER wrote:
jc6chan wrote:
I thought that autism is like 8 times as prevalent in males, but I've noticed so many of wrongplanet's members are female.

-Male speaking here...


I think that asperger syndrome in women is FAR less obvious, and quite possibly much less severe than it is in me. Many of the women on this site are probably either self-diagnosed or they read about AS and managed to convince a professional that they had it. I have met some aspie women in person but it seems to me as though they are Very Rare IRL.


Imposter's! :twisted:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLkZTJczirU[/youtube]


_________________
forwards not backwards, upwards not forwards, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom


Bella1
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 137
Location: Australia

21 Dec 2009, 9:37 pm

MEATGRINDER wrote:
jc6chan wrote:
I thought that autism is like 8 times as prevalent in males, but I've noticed so many of wrongplanet's members are female.

-Male speaking here...


I think that asperger syndrome in women is FAR less obvious, and quite possibly much less severe than it is in me. Many of the women on this site are probably either self-diagnosed or they read about AS and managed to convince a professional that they had it. I have met some aspie women in person but it seems to me as though they are Very Rare IRL.


I've been diagnosed. I also had a situation where a psychologist mentioned Aspergers to me. I had read up on it beforehand and knew about it but I didn't mention it to her. I was seeing her to be assessed for my anxiety issues for Centrelink (welfare). It seems she had a husband and son with Aspergers and she recognised some similarities in me when I was talking to her.

I found that the majority of health professionals knew very little about Aspergers. Some had a basic idea that it just involved stimming a lot and the inability to empathise and recognise emotions in others, so if you seemed intelligent and could talk and express yourself you couldn't possibly have it. Basically, it's not surprising that so many people fall through the cracks when there is little education out there about what Aspergers actually is.

To give another example of why people fall through the cracks. My little sister talked late, walked late, seemed in her own dream world, lined things up, was obsessed with things in her room being the way she wanted them and was assessed for being deaf when she was a child. My mum had her assessed for autism and they said no. Since the late 1980's, knowledge of autism has come a long way. I doubt a child like her would not be diagnosed today. But now she is 26 and she has still not been diagnosed. When I spoke to her about AS, she did identify with it. I think it helped her with her idea of self. She has always known she didn't fit in and she wasn't like other people. I think people who were around her just thought she wasn't that smart, instead of her having AS. She may not be academically smart, but she is smart. She thinks about the world and has all sorts of ideas that are her own. Nowadays she has no need to be diagnosed, just knowing about AS is enough for her.