What's it like having kids and AS?

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Like everything it has its highs and lows. It was very hard for me at first, but after finding a good system, routine, and aquiring the ability to be effiecient things got much easier. It is hard to have a child on the spectrum and like someone else stated dealing with all their appoinments and school stuff and everything else I am left rather drained, but again I found a way to help with that by scheduling everything I have to do in the same two days each month so I am only drained 2 days a month. I also had a home birth with no doctors and no hospital visits, ever. I would not do it any other way. I agree that if you really dont want kids that would make it much harder. I find when someone really wants something it makes the troubles of getting or achieving it much easier. Personally I think having kids has helped me a lot with my own Aspergers.

if you dont think you really want kids dont just have them to please someone else your the one whose going to be stuck doing all the work and he isnt going to be the one going through agonisng labour and have moments which can remind you of the kids on super nanny he probably has a very idyllic view of this as most men do and will end up regretting his decision because there will be no time for you and him any more que future childish tantrums from him lol

A child will take over your life and nothing will be the same ever again.

However, that being said, I love mine more than anything or anyone on Earth. Ever. More than my mom, dad, husband, sister- everyone, ever. And I cannot imagine life without him...

But, if you are thinking you don't want kids now, don't do it. Like someone mentioned earlier, you have time to figure it out and you may change your mind as you age. I never wanted kids until I met my husband- because of overpopulation, because of my relationship with my parents and a dozen other reasons. And I cannot say that there aren't days that I wish long and hard for my freedom back- from both of them (child and husband!). But my little boy is so much like me, and that is fun and amazing. We both have aspie-ness (this is all still new to us, so I am not 100% that both of us have it, but I am 99%). It is nice to have someone like me around all the time, but also demanding and tiresome.

Your schedule and stability go all to hell- well, at least mine did. Oh, and I pretty much lost all interest in sex after I had my son because I am always exhausted and because I had a horrifying labor (57 hours, yay!) that messed up my female areas forever.

It changes things. I handle that really well in very, very small doses...but it changes things over and over and over....and that is really hard for me to deal with because of the way I am.

I really really want a child..

Well I'm going to throw out a positivity spin...

I have two kids (11 and 4) and the oldest is AS and the youngest as NT as you can get. Currently going through a divorce and in a nasty custody fight.

Yes children need a lot of your time and yes they can be extremely overstimulating. But for me, I wouldn't trade a single thing. I adore my kids and I adore being a mother. The bond I have with my oldest is unique because our brains are hardwired the same way. We understand each other in ways that no one else in the family could possibly come close to.

My daughter gives me a run for my money at times, but her smartass/independent streak is all me so I can't really fault her for it.

No one is ever fully prepared to have kids. They challenge you in ways you would never dream but for some, the rewards far outweigh the frustrations.

One thing I know I'm really good at is being a Mum.

i wanted to have kids but i dont think i would get any at this very rate, but i dont think i would want to go through all the pain just yet, i might aswell wait till another 5 years before i think about having a child.

I agree with pretty much all the positive *and* negative, and also recommend avoiding until absolutely sure on every [sub]conscious level you have available to you.

But, despite it being hell, I think I'm more functional, even if only slightly, as a result. Perhaps more functional than I may have ever managed as a free woman.

Also.. yeah.. I wouldn't recommend expressing these feelings in particular to nt parents. While some have experience of post natal depression, and other problems adjusting, I think most women do generally overcome these mental setbacks and genuinely enjoy their role as a mother.

I would actually love more on this topic. I need better parenting skills.

I question the reason for having a child in the first place. Mothers, did you feel you were mentally, physically, and financially prepared?

It was interesting, though not an incentive, to read, "But, despite it being hell, I think I'm more functional, even if only slightly, as a result. Perhaps more functional than I may have ever managed as a free woman."

I know the reason my mom wanted me but I won't share it unless somebody asks.