has an evil NT ever taken advantage of you sexually?

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I dated a man (K.) who was raped by a woman. She had sex with him while he was unconscious from drinking. He came to toward the end and was freaked out by the whole thing -- for one thing, she was his housemate, and for another she was dating one of his best friends. He found out later that she'd come home with another guy they knew who was alseep in her bedroom while she was having non-consensual sex with K. in the living room.

He was controlling and abusive when we were together. I don't think it was my AS traits that he picked up on to use against me. I think he took advantage of my low self-esteem and sexual naivete, which plenty of NT women would have. I think he felt a need to (repeatedly) establish total sexual control over a woman to "cancel out" the time a woman had sexual control of him. I don't want to trigger anything so I won't go into detail, but it was hellish. I don't know if I was used; we were together almost two years and I'm the one that ended it, but I was definitely taken advantage of, if not because of my AS traits.

Oh definately

In the past I've been used. Looking back on it I realise if I were less naive then I could've avoided it. I once believed that a particular man loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. It got to a point where I was being tricked all along. He convinced me of this for months. He spoke of marriage and kids. It all sounded like a fairytale come true because he was so good looking. He got involved with most of my relatives and friends because they too thought he was my fiance. I wanted to support him. Then he became very abusive and because of him I got into debt. His erratic behaviour and horrible outbursts always confused me. I couldn't understand why he became angry all of a sudden and it was because I didn't react a certain way or say something properly. Now I know it was because of AS.

It wasn't until he went home to "sort out things" that I did some looking into. I found out that he'd lied to me all along just to use me as an object for his selfish plans. He had no intentions of doing all he promised with me but he needed someone gullible (i.e. me) to provide him with a place to stay, contacts, financial help and get info from. He was trying to start a new life yes, the only real thing he was doing. He used my family as "names" of pretend colleagues of a non-existent business. Neither me or my relatives knew anything about it until I later discovered this really shocking stuff. He was also seeing other women and had been staying with them. He then wrote utter trash about all his ex-girlfriends, possibly including me, on his website. It was removed for violating the web provider's terms and conditions.

People like that prey on women both NT and AS/autistic. However though, my AS made him lose his temper and go off me because he sensed I wasn't reacting as he hoped I would!

oh yes, i happened to me 3 times with 3 different guys. i was 13, 15, and 21 when it happened. and i'm so thankful that i still maintain my virginity and managed to get out of those situations quickly before things got worse. then again, all NTs are evil incarnate.

I've been taken advantage of sexually by an evil, sociopathic Autistic once.

Something like this happened to me when I was younger, too.

Young men pump out enough testosterone daily to sink a battleship, and their brains are in their dick. We all know that. It's a given that most of what they say is designed to get them into your panties. I don't say this with bitterness or rancor at all ... it's just a fact.

Which is the reason I agree that ultimately we have to forgive "men for being men". They are what they are. Not that they aren't responsible for their actions, but they're not inherently evil, either. It's incumbent on each of us to try and understand them and not let ourselves get caught in "situations".

It took a couple of times of this happening before I learned how to protect myself better. We can't let ourselves be too vulnerable. We just can't.


This is exactly what I seem to be hearing from this entire thread, and IMHO that's just sheer paranoia.

Someone being attracted enough to you to want to have sex with you is not a horrific nightmare scenario - it means they like you and want to share a mutually pleasant experience with you.

You have no concept of what's being talked about here. You think we should be flattered that this crap happens???


And to the poster who pointedly asked about men being taken advantage of ... there's no doubt that happens, too. There are plenty of women who use men and toss them aside with no regard for their feelings. There's no excuse for that kind of behavior, but it's not the subject of this thread. And besides, what's your point? Are you saying men are justified in doing this because some woman somewhere took advantage of an innocent man?

Ya know, I'd love to be 'taken advantage of', if that means consensual sex with someone I like.

I could care less whether they want to be with me for the next few years. I'm not exactly looking to get married and have babies. Just sex and emotional communion. And if they don't want the emotional communion and don't want to see me afterwards...Well, that's not gonna kill me. There are 2,999,999,999 other men out there.

I'll have an evil NT, please. Or an evil Aspie or an evil Autie for that matter. Just as long as he's 5'9+ and has nice face and body

Wow - perfect clarity. You said that really well, thanks.

I think that being taken advantage of by manipulative/narcissistic men is considered something that female aspie's have to be careful of. I just spent about 15 minutes trying to find that reference, to no avail.

If you're like me and you like books that shed some light into the minds of people who think very differently than you, this is a good one:
Why does he do that: inside the minds of angry and controlling men.
Of course not all guys are this way, but it might help you figure out which ones to be careful around and which ones are worth opening up to. There are lots of wonderful guys who wouldn't imagine treating another person this way.

edit: aspie guys having trouble with bullies might find this book useful as well. Even though it's written about relationships, it could be extrapolated for other kinds of interpersonal difficulties with that kind of guy.

i posted a topic based on that similar issue (which i've been getting a lot of flak for lately) right here:
SINGLE GIRLS/WOMEN - PLEASE READ THIS...

Yes this has happened to me. I realize now my poor social skills and astonishment that someone would be "nice" to me are very dangerous character attributes when it comes to negotiation with the opposite sex. I would like to say I'm more savvy now but in truth I am not sure that I am. Generally I try to avoid anyone who seems even slightly arrogant or not deeply interested in or concerned for me, and if I get an "unsafe" feeling (which can be hard to identify, since I am not very in touch with my feelings or intuition) I try to extract myself from the situation. Also, if I do find someone who is trustworthy I try to hang onto them as long as possible so as not to put myself out there in jeopardy again. I think AS women really have it tough when it comes to sexual/ romantic relationships because we are easily taken advantage of. I don't say this to play the victim, but when you are socially stupid and are up against an NT guy who will (even unconsciously) do or say anything to get sex, sorry but it's an uneven battle.

it is my experience that most men will do just about anything to get sex. To avoid actual forced rape they will use alcohol, lies, gifts, whatever it takes to get a woman into bed. But if they want more than just sex they will usually try a lot harder to be your friend as well. Truth is, for a man who just wants to find a woman to give him sex it is fairly easy-they go to a bar and pick up a drunk and/or easy one night stand. If they really like someone and intend to have a relationship they will go the exact opposite and put effort into it. I have my doubts that any "evil NT man" would spend years with a person just for sex because they don't have to.

I think what many of you ladies have experienced is a whole other creature- the controlling monster who is after complete dominion, and perhaps sex is just part of his arsenal. I wouldn't lump that kind of person in with average horny guys.

Ditto but why have sex? Just say "NO". If they leave, well, so what. Go for the friendship and be celibate. Just because you don't do sex, doesn't mean you have to pay for your own dinner. Socially, the men must treat the girl on a date unless, you both agreed to go dutch.
Either way, you're not obligated to have sex. If foreplay turns you on too much, avoid it.
Keep your peesh safe and your heart too. I read an article about hookers and their johns. You'd be surprised how many actually hookers didn't have to have sex. Some of these guys just wanted company. If sex is not the focus, you can really learn about a person. Truthful things about a person. A lot of women have sex and then expect all the rest to follow - the love, the ring, the plans, the wedding. Sex is supposed to come last not first. It's old-fashioned but it's a heck of a lot safer physically and emotionally. If somebody truly cares, they'll take the time to do this for you. There's no shame in self-preservation.

The impression I go from the OP was more along the lines of maybe not picking up on signals, or when the girl says no, it's ignored. In response to the OP, maybe a counselor could help you with reading signals. And yes, I have been the unfortunate recipient of blatant disregard for my wishes. You have my sympathy. At the same time, I don't consider the guy who did it to be an evil NT. I feel that if he did that to me, then he was mentally much worse off that I was. I wasn't physically injured at the time, which I was glad about. I did have to work some stuff out in my mind, but he has to live with what he did. He has a conscience and he knows that I know how shameful his act was.

'OP'? what does that mean?

OP=Original Poster. The person who started the thread.

at 17 a guy tried to take advantage of me , forcing me up against a wall putting his hand up my skirt attempting to touch my ummmmmmmmm private area, i pretended to have my mobile phone in my bra ready to call my mum if he did anything, in actual fact i had no phone because i had lost it, i told him to take me home, and i continued to see him, not telling anyone what happened feeling shameful, i had really only wanted a friend and have no idea how it got that far, i didnt tell for ages, until after i broke up with him months later, but for a year he had verbally abused me and made me cry daily forgotten my birthday and valentines day(which was his birthday and hence said why should i buy u flowers or jewelry on MY BIRTHDAY) bragged to my brother that other girls were hitting on him, disrespected my family and so on, but i was ashamed and desparate for a friend cause he told me that because of my idiosyncracies no one else would ever want me, now i have way more self esteem and since diagnosis just affter we broke up i have realised a great deal many things about how much i am worth being treated well

What kind of friend is that? trying to make you have gay sex at knife point.\!