What Effects Can Bullying Have on Girls During Adulthood?

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I'm not going to go into my past but the biggest injustice that I ever endured was what "I" ALLOWED others to do to me. People who don't get hurt aren't "lucky", they just know how to fend for themselves. They stand up for themselves. They also TAKE THEIR TIME to get to know other people as well. They don't bear their soul to any cockroach that comes along claiming to be a pal or a lover. "Do not cast your pearls before swine". Learn to love yourself.
Very important note: DO NOT take all the posts to heart, just take what you need and leave the rest. A lot of people who post here aren't necessarily empathetic...some only have empathy for themselves. Other people aren't above or below you, they're just other people.
We are all just imperfect human beings - the NT"S and aspie's, and auties, everybody.

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Last edited by pbcoll on 15 Apr 2010, 3:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

All true.

There are a hell of a lot of people having a hell of a lot of casual sex that does not involve rape, unintended pregnancy, or STDs. I rephrase: as long as adequate protection is used (ie, no unintended pregnancies or STD swapping), and everyone is a consenting adult, what's the problem?

Being a virgin is clearly the right choice for you, but why do you feel superior about it while simultaneously bemoaning the fact?

because i wanna be considered a human-being instead of some piece of ass. all my life i've being feeling like an animal to a lot of people; therefore, i avoid them at all cost because of what they've done to me in the past up 'til now. so why be in a relationship when knowing 'love' doesn't exist? millions of couples get divorced, used, abused, and so forth. what's so great about that? to me that's very depressing. not only that but 'love' isn't in anyone's vocabulary anymore, they'd rather f**k and hurt people intentionally. those kinds of people are everywhere so why have anything to do with them? so they can hurt me the way kids have hurt me for years? i know that i'll never be Miss Social Butterfly, Miss World, or Miss Pornstar the way everybody wants for me to be. i'm just me and i have to accept it, whether you like it or not. society thinks it's a sin to be different from everybody that's why i stay away from people, even relationships with the opposite sex because they'll never love me or accept me for me.

Have you actually met anyone that has said they want you to be Miss Pornstar etc.? Are they people whose opinions you actually give a s**t about? These views seem to be imposed on yourself, not hoisted on you by anyone else, so you need to drop the victim mentality. Yes, the media may sell a sexed up image of women, but you don't have to follow it and a lot of women don't. Let the chauvinists rant and drool, who cares? Ignore them.

At the moment, the only one labelling and holding you back is yourself. By labelling other women and feeling superior to them, you are backing yourself into a corner because if you ever fall off your pedestal (i.e. fall for the wrong guy, or make a few bad choices), you are open to the full brunt of your own judgement, and you know yourself how harsh that is. Give yourself a break from that kind of pressure.

Stop seeing other women as pieces of ass just because of their lifestyle choices, and you will respect yourself more in the process.

Hello,

I used to think and feel like you that I would never find someone. Things changed and now I'm 36 yrs old and in a long term relationship. We have our own daughter. Sometimes I do have problems with him that are minor, breakdown of comunication, being misunderstood. I've been bullied at school and in the workplace. I wasn't so much bullied in college or university because the students I mingled with were less interested in competing or nastiness. However they didn't warm to me, and some were rude but I found it impossible to make any friendships.

It's difficult to form any bonding with most people I've met. Often I'm a situation where people suddenly form a closeness among one another and I'm left out in the cold. No matter how I try to get involved, there is a sense of being isolated and they're aloof. As time goes by, these people will accept that I'm not a part of their circle. They then behaved towards me as they would to a complete stranger. It's one thing to have autism/AS and when you're bullied from childhood onwards, you become affected by that.

It can be a lonely feeling. It's horrible. There was a time I used to think there was no one out there for me. I found my boyfriend in life and we have a lot in common. He's NT but he also has (or did have) social anxiety/shyness. Now he's more confident. I met him online at an internet community and I didn't plan on going to the site to meet someone, it simply happened. I liked his personality and we got hooked discussing things together, then privately, ect. You think now that you won't ever meet someone special. Don't think that. You're young. It's you focusing too much on what you don't have. Take up a new hobby or start having fun with what you enjoy the most. Go somewhere that you find cool, or even hang-outs you like on the intenet for instance and take your mind off the negativity.

Last edited by Ragnia on 15 Apr 2010, 9:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

Choosing to have sex, does not make you a 'piece of ass'. I chose to have sex. I am still very much a human being thank you very much. Where is this logic that having sex demotes you from the status of 'human being' to 'piece of ass'??

You have every right to be a virgin. But please don't imply that those who aren't virgins are morally lesser. If you didn't mean that then I take that back.

You must'nt assume that everyone is interested in bullying you. I dont know what happened but it's made you feel that love doesn't exist. You need to try and find the what you can in you to move on from your bullied past, liberate yourself from these fears and examine what you've just said.

Who wants you to be a "Miss Social Butterfly", "Miss World" and "Miss Pornstar"?

Btw people are going to stay away from you if you decide to push them away.

oh i do ignore them, and sometimes i flip the bird at them too. ideally people want to be with a pornstar, they just don't admit it. that's why they won't look at me because i don't look like one. but i'm cool with who i am and i refuse to change anything for anybody. if they don't like it, the hell with them.

I have learned the hard way that I am a terrible judge of people. My instinct is to trust everyone, and because of that, I'm easy to take advantage of. Because of that, I can't trust anyone off the bat; because I can't allow myself to trust people, I lose a lot of opportunities for friendship that I might otherwise have had.

But the fact that I'm a bad judge of who is a good person and who isn't does not mean that good people don't exist. It's MY problem, and it doesn't mean that the ones who CAN judge a good person from bad are just being taken advantage of and treated badly.

yes, but in the internet people can paint a different picture of themselves luring other people into thinking they're somebody they're not. who knows if your boyfriend you met online can be a psychopath or whatever? no offense or anything. this isn't just my own opinion but others think so too:

Dating can be dangerous
Dating is deceptive and dangerous

but if you think he's a really good guy than consider yourself lucky. i wish you the best.

when it comes to sex, a guy will bribe you thinking that you're 'the one' and have his way with you then leaving you flat. they'll do it with every girl that they meet, maybe worse. for me, it's a common fact: a man's brain is in his d**k. we women are just objects to men.
as for those who are promiscuous, they think that they're highly superior by boasting the number of the partners they f**k. but deep down they're selfish, insecure, degrading themselves and have no empathy for anyone.
i always say to myself, "it's better to be alone than have any bad company".

Actually, most guys prefer normally attractive women. You will get the odd one that wants a pornstar look&act alike, but they tend to be quite immature and their only real experience of women is on video. Most guys prefer real women when it comes to relationships, even the guys that look at porn.

You must have seen at least some real life couples in your life. Does every female partner look like a pornstar to you? Even if their fella did have a porn fetish, that doesn't mean the woman has to pander to his every dream. She has the right to dress as she likes, and dump ayone who tries to change her. You would have the same rights in that situation too.

The 'lad' guys will make demeaning comments about girls, especially in groups. It's an act for a large number of guys, all part of posturing (along with fart jokes etc). Very few will actually mean the comments, and those that do aren't worth bothering about. I mean this nicely when I say you should try to grow a thicker skin. Getting upset and flipping the bird will only cause them to increase the comments. Ignore them. Don't give them the time of day, and hang out away from them.

One more thing, don't pay attention to some of the male attitudes here on WP and on other websites. They are representative of quite a small population of males and usually those that have a poor relationship history or none at all, and who are slightly bitter towards women as result. Half the time the only ones they can get are the videos on their computer screen. Talk to a few guys in real life who have female friends and girlfriends and see what their take on the subject is.

The best lies always have a dose of truth in them. That's what makes them so pervasive. You paint with a broad brush, and the resulting picture, while not entirely untrue, is highly inaccurate.

No ttqs84, my beloved is definately NOT a "psychopath". I often don't respond kindly to this type of accusation but I think you're a person who's incredibly hurt, feels damaged even and you're probably depressed so I don't feel annoyed with you. I understand you didn't mean to be rude or personal. I am a caring person with a past that includes being bullied. What I object to is for feedback along the lines of yours, which imho, was offensive.

As for what else you said, yes it's true that there are liars and nutcases online but you also get that offline. You get all types of people everywhere. There are so many succesful relationships found via the internet. It's strange that even though you believe all people online cannot be trusted, you did post about your feelings as if to look for advice from internet users!

Now I don't really think you actually believe everything you're saying. Perhaps you should discuss this with a counsellor or a therapist. They deal with so many young women who feel like you do.